Just open my feed and this is the first post, after having a really hard day were I feel like I'm unwanted and don't belong anywhere again, I honestly opened tmblr in the first place because I did not joined a college event right now, even though I did prepare for this event but i didn't want to because I feel like my presence itself was unwanted and the whole day my peers tried to pretend by associating themselves with me, when I rushed to the restroom because i was anxious after failing the activity.
I heard my peers walk by the restroom and i overheard what they talk about me, that they were struggling to "be nice to me" but also said they did not want to associate themselves with me, mocked my failures, after all the school activities I failed.
I really thought this was it, finally found where I belong because a teacher in highschool told me even if you don't have friends in elementary n highschool there's always college were you will find different people who might also share your interests, that's what I thought after graduating highschool, but never happened after the 1st semester I realized we can be friends while still not being close, I accepted that so I thought as long my presence is wanted that's already a good sign but after hearing all the talk in the restroom I realized I was just delusional for thinking that after all what happened in my basic education years, I really thought I reached the peak of belonging turns out maybe i would never.
I never knew I would experience this like in the movies because I thought it's unrealistic that people just talk shvt about someone they don't know nothing about in the restroom unlike those American tv shows, it was really cliché, I kind of try to shrug it off but I somehow felt hurt because I really did thought they were sincere to me, after that I kind of want to go home right at the time.
I was supposed to inform and give them reasons I can't attend the class event because I'm tired after all the rigid activities and the failures,but after hearing all of that, I just wanted to go outside, away from the campus, go back home.
Then I opened my phone and saw this post, realising this feeling I felt was not only felt by me but others as well. I also want to encourage op that no matter how the world tries to be against you, that makes you feel unwanted, remember that your not alone, others felt your feelings too, by trying to embrace that I maybe not reached the peak of belonging and maybe will never do, and it's fine, it will be fine.
People on this app from other parts of the world understand what you're going through and that you have every right how to express yourself and your feelings, remember this hurdle won't last but also won't stop, but as long as go pass it, to give yourself the help you needed, and find peace by healing through it , it can be a reminder of how far you've come.
izzy806
origamiaround
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto
areudirty
stormborns
