canât believe americaâs new year resolution was to create 20 more âterroristâ groups in the middle east due to their endless bloodthirst
history is a circle


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@crisis-cryptid
canât believe americaâs new year resolution was to create 20 more âterroristâ groups in the middle east due to their endless bloodthirst
history is a circle

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me: okay, now what does the word âduckâ start with?
my daughter with full confidence:Â
me:Â
Calvin and Hobbes
barbie is Bi.
Of course sheâs bi what straight woman wears a jean button up shirt
the B in LGBT stands for Barbie
Letâs not forget that this photo is canon. And anyone who assumes that sheâs just being an ally will have to fight me
At least we still have Bi Barbie
Remember: you canât spell BarBIe without Bi!
Join for FREE today and you could be having sex tonight!!
Baby Yoda origin story
delete this please

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all night long the sword on the wall above my bed has been rattling and i finally woke up all the way and went wtf and turned on the light and found this.
@ those of you saying this is cute⌠thatâs a feral rat. a feral rat hovered over my head watching me sleep for three hours while trying to figure out how to assassinate me with a longsword. thanks.
While you slept, He studied the blade
Despereaux SNAPPED
this last comment is the only funny one this post has ever gotten thank you for your service
moira rose laughing without moving her face shouldâve earned catherine oâhara an emmy two years ago
Iâll never stop being obsessed with this moment
Daisy Ridley fangirling over Angelina Jolie at the 2019 D23 Expo
This is framed like a parks and rec gag

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Wheat fields are more mystical than fields of other crops. You are 7,000 times more likely to meet an old god or see a portent of doom in a wheat field than in a field of like⌠soybeans.
For your consideration: cornfields
Cornfields are less mystical than wheat fields but more mystical than soybean fields. Two-bit monsters congregate in corn fields to eat people, but their power is nothing compared to the things that manifest in wheat fields.Â
Have been in both wheat and cornfields; can confirm. Cornfields host monsters who eat people. Wheat fields attract old gods.Â
I have a theory that this is because the notions most of us have of âold godsâ are pretty intrinsically European, and wheat was (and is) the staple crop of European life. It is quite literally tied to the ancestral rituals and beliefs of most white people. Odin, the Morrigan, and even Zeus are actually linked to a set of peoples who cultivated wheat.
Meanwhile, corn (maize) is a crop native to the Americas. It features in the white cultural imagination in a very different way. Corn is a motif seen not in our ancestral myths, but in a much newer genre: the American Gothic. With its focus on the tensions between man and nature andâperhaps more importantlyâthe United Statesâs history of genocide against its indigenous population and trade in enslaved Africans, the American Gothic is VERY preoccupied with agriculture. Our monsters come out of corn fields because corn is a symbol for not only what we did to the Native Americans (who were the first to grow the crop), but of what we are doing to the very land itself. Corn is a monument to our cultural sins.
Meanwhile, I suspect that corn features very differently in the imaginations of people of color. If you asked a Native American person or a Latinx person what sort of mysticism they associate with corn fields, I imagine their answer would be very different than ours.
TLDR: White people associate wheat with our ancestorsâ gods because our ancestors grew wheat. We associate corn with terrible monsters because it is a literal sign of our own monstrosity.
Native American here, can confirm that small plots of corn feel safe and homey; ideally they should be interplanted with other crops. You find turkeys and possums and raccoons in the corn. It might tell you important knowledge.
However.
Giant monocultures of corn, where the corn grows unbroken for miles and miles, not near human habitation, devoid of local wildlife, just corn on corn in the soft wind? Corn mega monocultures? Those sound like screaming.
âmonocultures attract people-eating monstersâ is not the take I expected to see today but Iâm glad I saw it
nina cried power (2018) and jackboot jump (2019)
this is, without a doubt, my favorite tiktok ever.
Is that Adam Driver
The real college experience
- Depression nap at noon - âI havenât been to that class in 2 weeks lmaoâ - sometimes ya just see ppl crying and thatâs okay - sometimes ya just see ppl napping and thatâs okay - DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG SOMEONE IS WALKING THEIR DOG ON CAMPUS THIS IS NOT A DRILL - âIs it free?â - âwill there be free food?â - profs walking in late, hungover in pajamas - profs saying the fuck word and the freshies being surprised - *prof walks in 15 minutes late* ây'all want some milk dudsâ - a second Depression nap - finding a lost temple in the middle of the campus gardens and using it as a study and napping spot - seriously why has no one else found this spot - accidentally getting locked into a building because you studied until 3am and you have to escape through a fire escape on the second floor - Hammock Squad⢠- witnessing a mental breakdown at least once a semester - IHOP at 2am with the squad - having to throw away your favorite water bottle because it smells like the alcohol you drank that one time you almost died on homecoming week - the apartment 2 doors down is having a party and they saw you walking to get your mail and invited you and now youâre drunk and sitting on the floor with their dog - The Weed Smell - The First Crossfaded Experience - everyoneâs gay - that one prof you become best friends with and ppl wonder if y'all are fuckin but in reality y'all are probably just chillin and watchin cowboy bebop or some shit
Today I saw a nipple pasty chillin on the ground in the rain
God what a mood
Fleur Delacour had the most impressive performance in the First Task of the Triwizard Tournament, imo, and it is a Crime that she came in last place. Like, sure, maybe what she did took awhile and it wasnât flashy, but imo she did by far the most impressive, difficult, and most humane piece of magic.Â
Like, thereâs this pissed off dragon mother, right? Itâs been boxed up, taken to this strange place, then stuck in a noisy arena where its eggs are being threatened. This dragon is probably Unbelievably scared and angry.Â
It can take 4-8 adult wizards working in tandem to Stun a dragon, especially a pissed off one, but Fleur âfairy princessâ Delacour walks into that arena, stares down an angry apex predator, and somehow manages to single-handedly enchant it to sleep. This Common Welsh Green is surrounded by hundreds of people, needs to protect its eggs, but Fleur Delacourâs magic manages to override all of its fear and anger? That is an incredible feat of powerful and probably very complex magic.Â
Like, no wonder Fleur Delacour can come off as condescending, that is mind-blowingly impressive. That is the work of 4-8 adult wizards. You cannot tell me that the watching dragon-handlers were not LOSING THEIR MINDS.Â
Between sexism and Fleur being part-Veela, it is unfortunately very realistic that she faces a lot of prejudice, but come on, Professors Sprout and Hagrid and etc. must have been going wild. Itâs only some very bad luck that her skirt was accidentally set on fire. She got the golden egg. There was zero damage to the dragon or to the real eggs. Even if Madame Maxime and Fleur worked together to prepare it, Fleur still had to do it, and Madame Maxime would have been so rightly furious that Fleurâs bravery and magical skill wasnât recognized.Â
Anyway, part of where Iâm going with this, is that this injustice also creates some choice eldest Weasley brother reactions. Like Bill Weasley is writing his regular letters to Charlie, right? And he happens to mention, âHey, I met this woman at work, with that guardian beast problem with that tomb I was telling you about. Do you remember the Beauxbatons Champion, Fleur Delacour?âÂ
And Charlie Weasley writes back like, âDO I REMEMBER FLEUR DELACOUR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE HAVE A POSTER OF HER ON OUR WALL! I HAVE HER GRADUATING CHARMS THESIS ON CALMING MAGICAL CREATURES AND I WANT IT SIGNED. SHE REVOLUTIONIZED OUR DEALINGS WITH DRAGONS HERE. INJURIES ON THE RESERVE FOR DRAGONS AND HANDLERS ARE DOWN BY LIKE 75% SINCE WE BEGAN IMPLEMENTING HER SPELLWORK.âÂ
âUh, alright then. Well, you can send that to me and I will ask her to sign it for you,â Bill Weasley, an extremely successful Curse-Breaker, writes back. (It isnât that he doesnât find Fleur Delacour accomplishments very impressive, it is just that the poster on the wall thing is a Bit Weird.) âThatâs not going to be weird when I ask her out or anything. Wish me luck.âÂ
And Charlie writes back, âLUCK? LUCK?! WILLIAM WEASLEY, IF YOU DONâT MARRY THAT WOMAN, IâLL DISOWN YOU. TELL HER THAT IF GRINGOTTS DOESNâT APPRECIATE HER, SHE CAN COME TO ROMANIA. WEâRE BROKE, BUT I HAVE A DOZEN MUSCLED WIZARDS, WITCHES, AND OTHERS READY TO PROPOSE TO HER ON THE SPOT.âÂ
âI was thinking dinner first,â Bill writes back. âBut Iâll let her know?âÂ
So, Fleur initially has to deal with a lot of crap from the Weasley Family, but at least sheâs always got Charlie âNumber One Fleur Delacour Fanâ Weasley in her corner. Youâll catch Uncle Charlie excitedly telling the story of Fleur Delacour in the First Task to Billâs children forever.Â
(Charlie: âIF YOU DONâT MARRY HER THEN I WILL!âÂ
Bill: âCharlie, youâre not even into women.âÂ
Charlie:Â âWHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MOST IMPRESSIVE DRAGON-HANDLING IâVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?!!â)
@deadcatwithaflamethrower - thought you might like to see this. :D
After Bill and Fleur get married, Charlie begs to take her into the office. At first sheâs like âuuuuuuuhâŚâ because sheâs so used to people fawning over her, hitting on her, being crude, and being married (ESPECIALLY being married to a werewolf) HAS NOT stopped that.
They get in, Charlie whistles to get everyoneâs attention, Fleur draws her haughtiness around her like a cloak, Charlie yells âFLEUR DELACOUR-WEASLEY!â
The place goes BANANAS. Everyoneâs wanting to shake her hand, compliment her spellwork, talk about how much her tricks have SAVED THEIR ASSâŚ
Itâs the first time she can remember that being part veela was 1000% IRRELEVANT. And she LOVES IT.
And yes, they take a group photo which gets framed in pride-of-place beside her (now signed) poster.

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the reason healthcare is free in the Pokemon world is because every time some corporation starts hoarding all the wealth some 13 year old comes in with a team of literal gods to stop them
itâs a lot harder to pass legislation to allow your company to surpass moral and ethical rules when some child with a 23â tall God of the Weather under her command can just waltz right into your headquarters and have it create a fucking tornado in the CEOâs office on command
the fact that star wars never bothered to put a species name to one of their most important characters so now decades later everyone is referring to this innocent baby child by the name of a dead war criminal and sw realizing their mistake too late is forced to refer to him as just âthe childâ bc they didnt come up with anything else and they cant really call him âbaby dead war criminalâ on official merch and toys they want to sell to kids REALLY perfectly encapsulates star wars as a wholeÂ
Lucas specifically never wanted Yodaâs species named, and honestly? power move
when i was a kid i thought yoda was human and thats just what a human would look like after 900 years