Hot Wheels and Wrapping Paper

To be fair Pokemon element logic is rooted in normal logic.

yeah, everyone knows a wrestlers biggest weakness is the local pigeons

go outside and try to suplex a bird

tell me how bug resists fighting

go outside and try to suplex a bug

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

I love these so much.

whatever needs to be said was said in iris by the goo goo dolls

high comedy

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

Hi. It's me, Trustfund Whitelady, here to tell you all about my queer-owned small business oddities shop. Check out our multiple products on offer such as: quartz bought in bulk from Amazon, $5 vinyl stickers of animals in cowboy hats, king cake plastic baby earrings, and up in our display case, a taxidermied bat we for sure don't have a permit for. Our brick and mortar store has no available parking or public restroom but it DOES smell so strongly of incense that you'll need to hose yourself down after exiting :) If you can't make it out to the shop, no worries! We'll be at the craft market next Saturday between the amigurumi mushrooms stall and the 3d printed fidget slugs stall

you know what dad? maybe i don't wanna be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned. it's a lot of pressure to put on me and honestly i've been feeling stressed recently because of it

ok yeah this is funny