why must the cute ones (me) suffer

“my mother and my parents”

you want to make fun of my tragedy? huh? hm? my mother and parents are dead shitface

If I got ahold of Joe Biden's phone I would put he/they in his Twitter bio then turn it off

Stop replying to this with "I would link Homestuck discourse! I would make a carrd! I would post Onceler stuff!" like guys. Guys. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but this won't work. Everyone will know it was a hack. But adding a they pronoun to the bio? Oh, baby, that's a toss-up. We would bear witness to three gorgeous hours of the biggest Twitter storm you have ever seen. It would be better than superhell night.

she’s the prowler

pretty sure my soulmate is a bag of sour gummy worms

I just ate a whole bag of those, no joke

u piece of fucking shit that was the love of my life

Bro İ hate being an academic they're making me write shit 😭 İ thought İ was just supposed to sit in an old chair smoke & say something french every now and then 😢

am i having a stroke why are your i's so long i'm

Sometimes high tech is worse

What the hell kind of cow is that?

Don’t be rude that’s their boyfriend