Look out!

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

You know how much I would lose my mind if I was at an aquarium and turned a corner to see a wild ass heron staring at a fish tank

god the horrible urge to vague post is eating me alive but i must

someone wronged me once

whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight

it's so crazy too bc i'll be like "this phrase/practice is being touted as ancient knowledge with a secret unbroken lineage, but it was quite literally made up in the 20th century. like we can trace it back to its very inception in like 1961." and someone will be like "that can't be true because my grandmother taught it to me." and i'm like yes your grandmother was 20 in 1961.

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

told my therapist (in his 70s) that I’ve been playing animal crossing again and he goes “oh.. i know that game.. but wasn’t it called frogger?” he does not seem to remember making this exact same comment six years ago when i was last playing animal crossing

no one is coming to save you its true its true someone might be coming to hang outttttttttt though. someday

in the future humans will have something called "sinus button " and pressing it will immediately drain your sinuses of all fluid so that it can be filled with other things like rocks, webs, paint, tar, freef (new fluid that will be so important in that time) and also dr papper

#hope #hopepunk #positivity #utopia #dreamworld

games over! everyone loses! 👍