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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

Father/daughter halloween costume via u/-EG

Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t do as well as others, I’m a failure. More functional belief: If I don’t do as well as others, I’m not a failure, just human.

Maladaptive belief:  If I ask for help, it’s a sign of weakness. More functional belief: If I ask for help when I need it, I’m showing good problem-solving abilities (which is a sign of strength).

Maladaptive belief:  If I fail at work/school, I’m a failure as a person. More functional belief: If I fail at work/school, it’s not a reflection of my whole self. (My whole self includes how I am as a friend, daughter, sister, relative, citizen, and community member, and my qualities of kindness, sensitivity to others, helpfulness, etc.) Also, failure is not a permanent condition.

Maladaptive belief:  I should be able to excel at everything I try. More functional belief: I shouldn’t be able to excel at something unless I am gifted in that area (and am willing and able to devote considerable time and effort toward it at the expense of other things.

Maladaptive belief:  I should always work hard and do my best. More functional belief: I should put in a reasonable amount of effort much of the time.

Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t live up to my potential, I have failed. More functional belief: If I do less than my best, I have succeeded perhaps 70%, 80%, or 90%; not 0%.

Implicit underneath a lot of this is whether you take your output to be proof of identity (sometimes this is called essentialist thinking: instead of asking “is this cake baking well” you’re asking “holy shit what if I’m not a baker at all this cake is going to be my only piece of evidence for that so if it’s wrong I am not and can never be a baker”) or demonstrations of a process, simply a behavior. Can good bakers still sometimes create bad cakes?

am i too late to share my favorites (part 1)

Shocked Shark by Will Clark / Underwater Photographer of the Year 2016