this is all gay code

at the end of the day its about making ur life as lesbian as possible

struggling to wrap my head around the shape of my thesis because there’s so so much there and it’s hard to like. make a coherent structure. except my thesis is about exactly that. about the inability to make coherent structure of apocalypse specifically with words specifically in the book of revelation and the southern reach series. so what i ended up doing was printing out and cutting up hundreds of quotes and things i’m talking about and taping them to the wall to try to map it out visually. i realized like 1/8th of the way through that i’m basically reenacting the director’s futile efforts. the endless PILE of words i haven’t taped up yet are literally sitting on a large crocheted flower like a pile of journals in a lighthouse. i am becoming the subject that im writing about and going fucking crazy. area x is eating me