I rate silly guys

Since this is gaining wayy more attention than I thought it ever would, here's a little intro/rules sheet I made!

Hi! I'm Kayak! (@kayak-lmao)(she/they) This is a sideblog I made to rate your favorite real-world creatures as well as any from fiction! I mainly do these through the ask box, but I sometimes do ones I think of myself. This was heavily inspired by blogs like @videogamecows, so be sure to check those guys out! :]

What do I mean by creature?

Anything living that is non-human. Yes, this means that plants count. These can be real or fictional! That's why I used the word "creature" instead of animal. Bacteria, plants, or anything that isn't animal are still super cool to me and I enjoy looking at them :)!!

RULES (PLEASE READ)

simplified versions at end

Please don't spam asks. If I didn't answer your ask yet, I'm probably busy. Spamming will only make me not want to answer you and will probably result in a block.

While I may praise and adore fictional creatures, that does not mean I agree with the things their creator says. I don't want to exclude myself from certain media just because the creator is a shithead. Check rule 8 for what I specifically do not condone.

No ocs :(. I love when people make original characters but this would just turn into a rate-my-oc page if I counted those.

If I give your submission a bad rating, please don't harass me over it. I'm entitled to an opinion, good or bad. I try to be positive but if I genuinely don't like something I'll say it.

PLEASE correct me if I get information wrong. I don't want to spread misinformation, even if it's just for a niche indie game.

When sending media, please make the subject clear. Also please try and avoid links. The only links I will click on is YouTube and if the content is inappropriate you will be blocked and reported.

If including an image with gore, blood, body horror, or any other common triggers, please include a TW above the image as the first things viewers see is said image. If it doesn't have a tw when it needs one, I unfortunately cannot answer it because I don't want to accidently trigger anyone.

Just try to be nice. Don't use hateful language or send any characters that were designed with the point of making fun of something/someone

I don't want racists, transphobes, homophobes, ableists, anti-semists, neo-n*zis or any other hateful people here. Do not try to argue with me over this. I will block you. This is not a space for you, and it never will be.

I have the right to make/change rules whenever I want. It's my sideblog, and if I find something new that I don't want here i can make it a rule. I'll reblog and eventually delete the rb when I do update the rules.

Ok thats all for now! Thank you for reading that all if you did :].

Simplified lists for specifics

1.) Spam. 2.) Problematic creators

3.) Ocs. 4.) Bad ratings

5.) Wrong info. 6.)Images or links?

7.) Trigger warnings 8.) Be nice.

BLUE STAR FROM LOBOTOMY CORPORATION

from @readysetgargoyle

Design: 7/10 - I really like this design! I read a little about lobotomy corporation and blue star, and I think that's its really cool that it's just a floating heart. All the legs from people it's sucked in and (presumably) killed surrounding it like a shell? Literally perfection. The reason for the 7/10 is just because I think it's a little lacking. Maybe different skin tones, brusies, cuts, and even rotting skin and maggots on the legs could help to bring some variance and life to the design!

Purpose/Design: 9/10 - I've never played lobotomy corp., but I did read the wiki! It seems like a management/simulator game to me?? With blue star generating good things for you, but with a high risk. From its attack description, it seems like hell to deal with if it breaches containment.

I love high risk high reward things in games, and this is no different:)

Waugh thank you :))

So I know I said my regular schedule would come back in January, but I think that's going to be impossible for me.

Between school, music, and extracurriculars, I don't have enough time or energy to keep a good schedule.

I'll probably be back mid-february, but for the time being it's just not possible for me to keep up

BEAN BUG FROM BEE SWARM SIMULATOR

from @octobrushwizard

Design; 7/10 - while the design isn't anything super unique/special, I still like it :)

If you had to guess which entity spawned jellybeans for the players, I think this guys design very clearly conveys it! My guy is made of jellybeans. My only issue with his design is how eye-bleedy it can be. Bee swarm (especially in late game) already has so much going on onscreen and the bright rainbow jumpscare that bean bug doesn't really help the issue. I love colorful characters, I just would personally make it just a little less bright

Character/Purpose; 10/10 - I do actively play bss, I'm don't currently know if there's a way to spawn these guys? I don't know if they're just a random chance spawn or an onett spawn exclusive, or if there's a spawner further into the game.

Anyways, I like jellybeans! They're a good boost for your bees and pollen and I always get happy when this guy shows up! I get to go- "oh! Hello little friend! Extra jellybeans for me? Yay :D!"

It's a passive enemy and you can't attack it, so his only purpose is JELLYBEAN. I know it was also important for some quests in an event, but I'm unsure which event it was. But yeah, he came, he saw, he BEANED.

COHOZUNA FROM SPLATOON 3!!

From @a-rand0m-bl0g

Design; 6/10 - ok who gave the salmonoid steroids??

In seriousness though i think this guy is cool!! While I do prefer the designs of the other two king salmonoids, I think this was a good way to introduce everyone to the concept of king salmonoids. If the design was too flashy, it would've just been another boss salmonoid. I think making the first king salmonoid look like a jacked charger worked really well, especially when paving the way for horrorborros (and the other one I forgot it's name ;-;)!!!

Purpose; 7/10 - Again, I do think the other 2 king salmonoid have better fights but i do still like Cohozunas! I have been squashed by it countless times and have only beaten it once or twice. I didn't know what king salmonoids were when I started the game and was definitely scared when this mf showed up

While I'm on this, why does splatoon treat salmonoids like horror movies? I'll be watching announcements and big man will just be like- "Ay Ay! (We have this found footage of a toenail snatching cryptid that will be invading our city soon! Have fun!)"

This as of yet unnamed digimon just revealed in the most recent digimon tcg related presentation ( is going to be a main character in a manga)

from @the-baron-of-burgle

UNNAMED DIGIMON FROM DIGIMON!

Design; 10/10 - AU G H

Mouse in shoe but the mouse is sown and the mouse is sowing and shoe is also alive??? Dude I fucking love this guy! Shape language and stuff! I've always loved Digimon's art style in general :]]

Purpose; 8/10 - since it's gonna be in the Manga I'm guessing everything will go ok! My only experience with Digimon was Digimon world dusk when i was like 9 (i got stuck in sewer maze and cried) so I don't have a full idea of the series. Uhh yeah I hope it turns out to be a banger character in the Manga though!! Looking forward to the various war crimes this guy'll commit :DD

KING BUBBLE SLIME FROM DRAGON QUEST!

from an anon. I'm gonna name sulfide

Design; 5/10 - Certainly is a slime made out of bubble. Why is he foaming at the mouth is he ok. I don't really like the colors they picked for the crown but other than that the design is ok

Purpose/character; 8/10 - king slime. slime king. He serves his purpose.

Gonna use this an a quick excuse to explain how I see double features! (I'm still rating dw :) ). Ok so unless the characters are INEXPLICABLY tied together (like these guys) I will never do double features. "Oh they're best friends though-" nope they need to be bound together. If they can exist without the other (within reason) then no double feature for you.

OK REAL RATING NOW!

KYOGRE AND GROUDON FROM POKEMON RUBY AND SAPPHIRE

from @illuminopseudonymous

Design; 8/10 - something something red blue parallels something. I feel like kyogre makes more sense than groudon?? Like blue for water and the red stripes match Groudon. Also it's whale shaped. Groudon is shaped like a dinosaur and it's name sounds like ground. Also red = lava so cool. It does have matching symbols with kyogre though, which is neat

Purpose/Character; 5/10 - pokemon lore is confusing. From my very basic understanding, those 2 fight over land and water until rayquaza stops them? Then team aqua and team Magma try to take over the world for all water/all land respectively. then main character shows up and catches whatever pokemon your version corresponds to and then can get rauquaza too (yay.)

Anyways that whole story is just okay in my opinion. I don't really know what else to put here :')

:)

omg someone read that I could do real animals too thankyouthankyouaa

TARDIGRADE FROM REAL LIFE

from @nyyxqueen

By the way, categories are gonna change a little due to it being REAL

Looks; 5/10 - Everything about this guy is REALLY cute, except for the extra skin folds. These unsettle me. They're called water bears though, and they do look like them.

It does have stub legs though. Added bonus. I can't really make this as long as I normally would because nobody spent a while drawing/modeling what this guy would look like.

Abilities; 10/10 - ok. They've literally been in space. They can go 10 YEARS without water. They can survive extreme pressure and extreme temperatures. Literally would survive the apocalypse.

There's a common myth that these guys live on you, but they actually live in moss! Even though they're almost immortal.

(They were also in sam and max so I'm a little biased)

They're just COOL. Go look at some cool tardigrade facts because I can't list them all here >:)

Edit; @plural-void in the notes told me that they could actually survive anything except for their natural predators. So yeah they found the almost immortality glitch

Overall - 7.5/10; its tardiGRADE is A+

GLOW PIKMIN FROM PIKMIN 4!

from @lunasilverpelt

(Omg no spoilers this time)

also yes I do enjoy pikmin

Design; 10/10 - ok so I already like pikmin a lot but!! THIS GUY!! ITS ASCENDED TO THE WEIRDCORE/ WEBCORE PLANE!! augh I love geometric things. Also the little ghost tail!! AND THEY CANT DIE!! perfect pet for me... if only there were real.

Purpose/Character; 9/10 - when they were explaining night missions to me while I was playing I was like "urrrrg f g hdjsjs" BUT THEN THEY SHOWED UP. I would like everyone who hasn't played/seen pikmin 4 yet to know that glow pikmin can flashbang enemies. Like full on ears ringing, "MY EYESS" type of shit. Also they can teleport!! Like!! ! They just have every cool ability!!! Grrrahahgagh I want to squish one until squeaks. I cannot verbally express how much I love this guy.

PEPPERMINT BUTLER FROM ADVENTURE TIME

From an anon. my sister named fellow gay enthusiast (for marce and pb)

Spoilers for candy kingdom lore + stakes miniseries

Design; 3/10 - Peppermint Butler doesn't have bad design. It's actually fine in my opinion. My issue is this; it doesn't apply to his character. While it wouldn't make sense for pb (huh. That doesn't work) to NOT be candy due to living in the candy kingdom, him being peppermint specifically never really comes up in his story (to my knowledge). You could replace him with taffy and it'd be the exact same. I don't really like when characters are just randomly designed a certain way just for it to never come up. He's just... a peppermint. He just takes minty when people touch him. I just wish him being a peppermint was just a little more relevant to his character.

Character/Purpose; 8/10 - (not good with individual character backstories in at. based off wiki again 😅)

He's a little round guy?? And oh he's a little bit fucked up too??? With a dark and mysterious backstory?? And he just HAD vampire hunting kits for some reason ???

So after the dum-dum juice incident he just. Relearns the dark arts. True alpha male (joke)

I don't really know what else to put here because each character plays such a different role in each episode and I would be spewing stuff forever if I kept going.

Anyways I like his character writing! He's cool! Little blorbo!! The scrunkly!!!