Fandom things, occasional feminism, and bad jokes

Your girl should be your princess and ya homie

just come over and we’ll watch netflix or make a sex tape idk we’ll see what happens 

High quality news reporting.

shoutout to everyone who doesnt actually have a solid Best Friend bc their best friends have better best friends or bc they dont bond enough with people to have best friends or bc their ‘best friends’ constantly come and go and it just kinda leaves em feeling vaguely isolated even though they might have plenty of regular friends

That last part though…

All I can think of is that tweet about how we aren’t a species designed to last

This can’t be real, yet it still somehow can in 2016

Beautiful

ARE U TELLING ME THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEND

this is a great summary of the american school system, take spanish for four years and you’ll be able to ask someone “where is the library?”

Nope, his Spanish wasn’t even that coherent. Mostly just stuttering.

the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?

it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril​ tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”

This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.

I’m on medication that can make me spacey af, which can be a problem when I’m driving–like yesterday, for example, when my best friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole he said “to the left,” and I just mumbled “take it back now y'all” and hit the pothole straight on

Literally crying

this is my favorite post on this website