Things I think are funny

one of the videos on the ottawa centaurs account with the most views is the one where a handful of the guys are playing football and kicking the ball to each other. one of them kicks it too hard and has to go after it and he runs out of frame, but the video keeps rolling and catches ilya pulling shane in by his waist and kissing him while shane giggles. when the player comes back, ilya backs away from shane and they both just resume playing like it’s the most natural thing in the world. and the fans in the comments absolutely lost their minds going “oh yeah the PR relationship looking a little too real” “they’re in love your honor” “omg look at shane smiling” “they love each other so much is disgusting (affectionately)” “can we talk about how lapointe is so bad at kicking ball? thank goodness he’s a hockey player” “please some of us are single” “i bet ilya sent the ball away with his mind just to have a break to kiss shane” and ilya had liked that last one.

is this post real. can other people see this. this feels like a fever dream made reality

ilya wakes up in the middle of the night arching hard, horny as hell and just wishing to do a quickie and fall back asleep with his husband in his arms. so he reaches for shane and finds nothing, just empty sheets. and he gets up all groggy and confused looking around for his husband who is nowhere to be found in their room, not even a light from the en suite. so he leaves the bed and starts wandering around their house looking for him. he sees the light on in the office and walks toward it and finds his husband sitting there in his chair wearing only his black boxers and his glasses and ilya’s brain just short circuits “he wants to kill me” ilya thinks and then shane looks up from his laptop to ilya “oh, my love, did i wake you up?” while reaching his hands out for ilya to pull him into his lap “you did, i can’t sleep without you, sweetheart” and shane just snorts “oh my poor husband can’t sleep without his body pillow” shane says while caressing ilya’s arms “the best body pillow. what you doing?” Ilya asks looking to shane’s laptop and to the amount of paper on the desk “oh i forgot to look at some contracts mom sent me and i couldn’t sleep till i sort this out” shane replies kissing ilya’s shoulder “it’s going to take long?” ilya asks pouting while hiding his face in the crock of shane’s neck “i don’t know actually” shane replies and ilya groans “shane i woke up cus i’m horny as hell and wanted to be inside you” he whines “you still can, we can cockwarm while i sort my moms paper and then you can fuck me however you want” shane replies and ilya stand up so quickly he almost fall and shane laughs with how eager his husband is just so he can be inside him. and they do the cockwarming, and they fuck in the office, and one more time in the bedroom and ilya sleeps like a baby completely worn out and tangled up in his husband

David Hollander signs up for IG to post pictures of his hot wife but after Shane and Ilya are outted and married, his IG goes from being a Yuna Hollander fan page to a Yuna, Shane and Ilya fan page. He loves to post candid shots and videos of his three favorite people and his IG account blows up overnight. Millions of people follow his page to see the cute videos of them at brunch and a random photo of Shane carrying Ilya on his back. He turns down a number of brand deals because he just wants to keep the page about his family. He never tells Yuna that he turns down brand deals because he knows she’ll put him six feet under.

people at david’s place of work having a game called: is he talking about shane hollander or ilya rozanov? because david brags about them by referring to both of them as “my son”, and he’s not entirely aware he’s causing confusion either, so now his place of work knows a lot and at the same time very little about shane and ilya lmao