Bird Nerdlord

This man openly and intentionally misgendered his ex in his original post, so cw for that along with mentions of r*pe, su*cide, victim blaming, manipulation, and using his ex’s mental illness as a possible defence for what he did. To be EXTREMELY clear, I was in the group chat he mentions in his post since the beginning, and I was a very active member. I was also once his friend and I also once believed him or was unsure of my stance on this. I won’t stand for the story he’s spinning.

Regardless of how my friend spoke of him on their own personal blog, I believe they had the right to do so. I am livid for them, and I hurt for them deeply. He has never shown restraint in the past, and has used his porn addiction as a scapegoat for an extraordinary amount of things.

He kissed me without consent “as a joke” on one of his visits where we met up with a mutual friend, and that only furthers my belief of what my friend claims.

I will admit I didn’t know the exact ins and outs of their relationship because I didn’t want to ask my friend to speak more than they were comfortable about it, but I can say I always felt unsure about him even when I wasn’t positive why (even before he kissed me as a “joke”). He flirted with everyone in that group chat and had or attempted relationships with many of the people in there. He never owned up to anything and always pulled the victim card whenever he did anything wrong, as he’s doing now.

Not to mention he is calling out my friend for things completely unrelated to this story just to make him look better and further the dragging of their name. I am absolutely livid in a way I haven’t been in a long time. 

I am an adult. I am 22 years old. I have never once wanted to force a kiss on someone without their consent, much less anything else. It’s also extremely funny to me that he mentions how my friend is polyamorous to drag their image down more, while he kissed me and flirted with another of my friends while they were still in a relationship. 

If you support or believe his sob-story and believe he’s changed, cool, but I haven’t seen any change in his behavior to warrant the support he is getting from the post he has pinned at the top of his blog. A post where he drags the name of another person and paints them in a horrible light based on what he believes will garner him more support on the matter. A post where he actually owns up to nothing, and the things he does own up to he quickly skims over because he can do no wrong because he’s “trying to improve himself”.

I was also in that group chat, and was a witness to his bullshittery. I was there for his multiple relationships and shameless flirting with people he wasn’t dating. he also attempted to flirt with me in the beginning, as he did with everyone else, and the only reason he backed off as quickly as he did is because of my age. he once openly admitted to me that the only reason he didn’t pursue me romantically is because I was “too old” - meaning if I was younger, I also would have been a target.

I am no longer his friend because I got tired of making excuses for him. I got tired of feeling the need to warn other women and young girls about him even while I was his friend, because I could never trust him to conduct himself responsibly without supervision. I got tired of repeatedly telling him that the way he talked to women wasn’t okay, only for him to go and do it again. I got tired of him blaming porn for his actions. I got tired of having multiple (!!) female friends privately asking me if they should tell him they were uncomfortable with the way he was talking to them. I got tired of feeling like I couldn’t leave because he “needed me” to explain to him, an adult, that pushing women’s boundaries, asking for their addresses early on, lavishing them with gifts, and ignoring them when they say no (ALL of which are red flags for abusers/manipulaters, fyi), isn’t okay. I got tired of saying “he’s just rough around the edges,” and waiting for him to come around. it never happened.

philip seems to think that his old friends left because his ex manipulated them into perceiving him a certain way. the truth is, his own history is a testimony against him, and I never could vouch for him 100% even before finding out how he treated his partner. I was also not in contact with his ex at the time that I decided to end our friendship. please understand this is coming from multiple years of observing his behaviour and his character.

if you think he’s telling the full truth, I’m sorry to tell you that he is not what he seems. the sad part is, I think he fully believes his own story. but plenty of manipulative people do. and his current behaviour - blaming his ex-partner and projecting his struggles onto them; blaming his porn addiction; dropping their url and ranting about their political views despite claiming he doesn’t want to “slander” them; openly deadnaming them and refusing to use their current pronouns despite claiming he wants to “respect” them; citing mental illness as a reason not to believe somebody, which is a horrendous thing to do in any context; and still attempting to clear his name to a fresh group of friends and followers who weren’t even around when these events happened, which is a classic tactic abusers use to get people on their side - all of this, to me, testifies against him both past and present.

this is my assessment of his character. he has not passed the vibe check. I am absolutely livid that this is happening and it hurts to watch people I know hanging on his every word and calling him “brave” for doing the exact thing that abusers do, and get away with, every time. it hurts to see the thing that has happened in Evangelical Christianity on a large scale, play out in real time on a small and personal scale. the victim gets shunted aside and dismissed, while the person in power garners sympathy and prayers. grief does not begin to describe what I’m feeling.

After a few months of correspondence with him through Tumblr, various discord servers and later through direct messages on discord he began flirting at me. Admittedly, I thought nothing of it at first because attention is nice. Since he was my friend at the time I responded in my usual way by flirting back because men deserve to feel attractive too. After awhile he messaged me like “oh wow I’m a piece of shit for leading you on :( i actually have a crush on your best friend.” I’m the forgiving type so I was like fine whatever, you better not screw her over or I’ll beat you up. TURNED OUT! That Philip had been flirting at my best friend too and he had “confessed his affection” towards my friend the exact same day he had been flirting at me.

This friend and I have spoken at length about this incident because it left us both feeling really off about him and his intentions. We both decided it would be wise to back away from being friends with him. Not long after this incident his ex made their post about what he did to them.

This man makes excuse after excuse about how he’s never been corrected on his behavior, he has been, numerous times. He uses his porn addiction as a crutch to claim that he’s “not aware of boundaries” when in reality he simply disregards boundaries. He pretends to have no interest in male friendships when really he knows he can’t manipulate men nearly as easily as he can women.

He stopped flirting at me and being weird at me because I’m not Christian, I am bisexual and I have experience with dating. If you are a woman in his circles who regularly interacts with him he will target you whether you realize it or not.

He jokes about how he’s only attracted to women who are mentally ill or unstable. If you have ADHD/ADD or are on the spectrum, he will be weird towards you. Usually he will also target you if you are extremely inexperienced with dating of any kind. If he tells you it’s hard for him to trust anyone and that he trusts you, it’s a manipulation and it’s designed to make you feel bad about questioning his intentions.

I know we often talk about how these movements are heretical, and that remains my primary concern with them, but I don’t see much discussion about how they can be harmful in other ways. The subconscious damage done by participating in these movements can have longer-lasting emotional fallout for someone who is trying to recover; especially if they are trying to find their way out of a doctrine that consistently pointed out that their state of health was the primary thing “wrong with them,” and not their fallen state as a sinful human being (which we all universally share as the primary thing Wrong With Us.)

Phrases like the following:  “We believe that God wants to heal and transform us so that we can live healthy and blessed lives in order to help others more effectively,” which is from the Hillsong website’s statement about Word of Faith teachings, lean on the fallacy that somehow, healed/able-bodied people are more “effective” than those with disabilities.

Jesus did not heal lepers and restore function to people’s limbs so they could be more “““Effective.”““ He did this to display His glory, to illustrate that He was the Messiah, and yes–He also did this because He loved them–but healing ministries run into yet another problem when they insist that Gods healing is evidence of His love. John 4:48 clarifies why Jesus did these healing miracles: “Jesus asked, ‘Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?’”

So when you spend your time preaching that the attendees in your congregation are flawed because their health is not “whole,” and you paint the Gospel in such a light that the biggest evidence of Gods love for people is His instantaneous and miraculous healing of those who suffer from chronic illnesses, you cement this idea in their minds that their illness somehow means that God doesn’t love them. And the aftereffects of this can subconsciously haunt them for a long time after they’ve detached from your faulty theology.

Nintendo Consoles Through the Generations 

Had the idea of “what if I did models of the Nintendo consoles as if they were rendered on themselves?” and I did just that!

I plan on uploading timelapses of the process for each one. I have other timelapses on my youtube channel right now! Check it out, if you’d like!  

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Moodboard

Spinda Café