it doesn't have to be this way

yeah sorry boss i can't come into work today, yes, ye- yeah. it's the pursuer again, yeah he appeared outside the front gate an- yeah, in a mass of black fog. and he tried to use cursed impale on me so i got back in my car and left

“Stupider people than me have done this” is a useful framework against fear of new tasks, but imho not AS useful as “it’s not a problem if other people think I’m stupid”.

marriage before thirties is so insane because you're barely a person yet

divorce before thirties however is chic beyond comprehension

just saw an entire thread of people sincerely describing a content creator's pattern of posting a large amount of content and then taking breaks as "obviously grooming her audience" via "love bombing and ghosting" which i think could have been a really exciting innovation during the steven universe discourse era of tumblr

Baptisms if they were sick as fuck

im the person they keep adding gratuitous & unnecessary violence & sex in movies for. im running every studio executive ragged asking for even more cock & gore in cinema they simply cant keep up

U literally cannot save your mother like it cant be done

That’s going to be expensive!

yearning

Whenever people complain about how dating bi men is hard bc they got twice as many hoes like yall not the ones suffering. He is the one suffering. Do u know how much of a distraction it is to have hoes coming at you in all shapes and genders and orientations all the pronouns and things ???? Like sit back and think about it. All that bussy titty ass pussy balls cum and squirting closing in on you from every angle it will lead a young man astray if he’s not careful. I thank god every day I just got men to be crazy about bc if I had to pay attention to the seductions of women too I’d be no call no show jobless out on the street begging n sucking dick for a mcchicken a lot of people don’t understand the bisexual to hobosexual pipeline is real and we need to raise awareness. I care do you? Show some compassion

thank you so much for your poetry

Pisses me off that i’ve seen so much marketing for “Hims” which are anti-hair loss pills which contain finasteride, minoxidil, etc, while prescribing the same chemicals as regular HRT is getting choked off for anybody under 26 in the US. “Yeah you can take this chemical but your insurance will only pay for it if you promise you’re not a tranny” fuck offffffff!!!!

OH SO THE COUNTERPART “HER” PILLS ARE FOR WEIGHT LOSS WHAT IF I BURIED A PICKAXE IN THE CEO’S SKULL

I’d honestly be scared as fuck if a bunch of basic shapes came floating towards me. Yellow Prism. Red Sphere? Fuck that.

You are really gonna freak out when I tell you about the sun

The Sun's fine as long as it stays over there

this made me smile, sending you warm vibes today

… How warm?

are you in a good headspace to witness my vast and terrible wingspan

hello august you piece of shit

they’re burning me onto a CD tomorrow