i am bored in a way that has never been heard of before.

i am not in a time of my life where i can consume love songs in the slightest so “for a girl so in love” section is one and done for now but objectively those are beautiful songs i just simply cannot perceive. “you seem pretty sad” tho perfect. the the cure to begged to what’s wrong with me to less to expectations to cigarette smoke run? don’t even talk to me. if i had to force myself to acknowledge the first half of the album maggots for brains is my favourite bc it’s slightly upbeat but there’s that melancholic codependency just making it slightly offputting (in a good way). and i liked the slow descent of stupidly happy to already worrying abt its end to codependency to clinging on to realizing you’ve lost yourself. but i cannot listen to the songs again. overall my absolute favourite is what’s wrong with me but less is close second it’s just not a very casual listen i teared up like crazy

bad night.

bookmarking so many things to watch and read and consume that i might hopefully be able to actually do once ive had treatment and im not so easily triggered. 2027 literally the beginning of the rest of my life🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

just had a moisture worker guy at my place and he was mansplaining like craaaazy but i do not let shit like that slide so whenever he laughed like i was dumb i kept my face emotionless and every time he started going on a tangent i interrupted him and steered him back. i was nodding along to things i didn’t fully understand bc i am not going to let him talk down to me like that. and guess what, his confidence was waning bit by bit the entire hour. NEVER let a man think he’s better than you im dead serious you have to fake it if he’s being condescending while he explains things

could give or take drop dead, begged i really really liked, the cure was good, but what’s wrong with me oh NOW im ready

just realized smth sickening…

the concept of work is so annoyingly strict and fascinating bc like for smth to count as a job you would have to be paid for it right but if im on disability and not working but i am actively writing a book that i probably give 40 hours a week to, is that not technically a full time job? like if ppl ask me what i do i cant say that I’m a writer bc i haven’t published anything and no one is paying me for it but once it does start paying me (fingers crossed wish for the stars) i will be doing the exact same thing im doing now. aka writing for 40 hours a week. and it will be a job then but it isnt a job now.