Not average, but not quite awesome

All I won at the Taylor Swift wedding raffle was a 20-minute phone call with Mitch McConnell

Mitch McConnell will die two weeks from today (8/31/23)

there is no need to charge or cast i just be Knowing

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

mama did raise a quitter—someone who knows when to let go, someone who won’t put all their energy into something they should move on from, someone who knows when it’s time to stop

spotify wrapped you listened to 1,000,000,000 minutes of kill yourself music

spotify wrapped you listened to dog sounds

This is an awesome use of what is probably a master's degree if not a doctorate and I am 100% thrilled that she shared it even though it was embarrassing and she squeaked.

Thank you, adorable scientist, for making people's lives better.

As an Australian, THIS WOMAN IS A FUCKING GODSEND.

Californian (sup, fellow desert-havers) i've been using this since i saw it and it works so fucken good dude (i often have to put like 8 dogs in my car, so it's extra important my car isn't attempting to go super-nova when we get in)

Never apologize for a late reply. I'm a "pick up where we left off" kinda person.