~Blog of Stuff~

The reason Alan was always so sickly as a child was because he was slowly being poisoned over time (possibly set up by some dimwitted person in his older brothers faction who wanted to remove an obstacle for the throne?).

In the Isekai version, due to the sudden increase of being outside the Royal walls, and being active and eating more so at Katarina’s estate, Alan’s health started to improve; leading to the offender to get nervous/suspicious enough to have gotten caught early on.

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If Gerald Stuart were to be asked how to describe Lady Katarina under oath, he would simply reply that she was unpredictable; a whirlwind of chaos personified. Elegantly planning everything in ruse of normality only to suddenly make her strategic move; too fast for anyone to rationally think or act in retaliation. At least, for anyone who hadn’t spent a majority of their childhood at her side that is.

Or so he had once believed.

At the time, he had known from the moment Miss Campbell had asked to speak with him in private, away from the on going graduation party, that Lady Katarina would finally take her chance to confront them.

After having arrived alone to the graduation party, she had been concernedly lackluster in her anger with him for not escorting her; barely making the fuss that she would normally cause. It only made sense that she was waiting to make her move later.

Which is why when they were approached by her soon after, having lead the blonde to an empty hallway away from prying eyes, that her appearance was of no surprise to him, though it was strange for her to so so in private.

Even more so was the odd sense of steeled confidence in the way her eyes gleamed at him, a look he hadn’t seen in years due to their estrangement; one that still seemed to send chills down his spine, even when it had never been directed towards himself before now.

Looking back, he had foolishly ignored it in favor to take note of how she otherwise held herself; the knife casually wielded in her hand. Piercing eyes that had since moved on from his, settling on the light user beside him; who in turn had taken a step to cower behind him as her protector, trembling at the sudden sight of her tormentor.

The obvious goal had been to protect the girl. Disarming Lady Katarina would be easy enough, her hold on weapons was never good to begin with; and if he decided on giving a warning to his estranged fiancée, it would do no harm as they weren’t in public view, now would it?

Stepping into stance with practiced ease, muscle memory doing it’s work, watching as her eyes lit up in understanding- acknowledgment, then narrowing as if he’d dare.

As if he’d ever back down when it came to her. A single swipe would suffice-

But to his horror, as he swung it was met with resistance- not the ease of empty air. A metallic tang spilling into the air, overflowing his senses with bitterness; a far old buried memory of a child- having been blinded by his frustrations during a spar, sending his opponent another child to his near death.

Years of perfecting to avoid harming someone again-  

She hadn’t moved.

He had thought she’d dodge it- expected her to do so.

She had been watching him practice his sword for years before they became estranged. Even going as far as to study it herself just because he once confessed to genuinely enjoying the art and challenge of swordsmanship.

Learning it’s terminology, going as far as to personally research the types of movements he preferred and how to refine them his own family had never even made such an effort to his interests; the string of on-going complaints that would follow after, how a lady such as herself shouldn’t have to know such things- becoming a memory that had once brought him fond amusement.

But then, what happened? She knows his sword, knows his strikes- knows his unspoken words and tells. Why didn’t she avoid it?

Had it really been so long she forgotten how?

Slowly, the striking red that now stained his blade had begun seeping through the torn fabric of Katarina’s dress- the one he could hazily remember her chattering on about in excitement weeks prior when she received news that it had been finished. Even when she had confronted him not even hours earlier about not escorting her to the party, he had never bothered to take interest in it beyond noting it’s coloring of blue to match her-

He couldn’t even do her the courtesy of that now, as it was at the flash of pale skin did the cold reality of what he had done finally register in his mind.

Breaking out from his stupor, his eyes automatically darting to hers for modesty sake as he took a step to approach- only to falter as he briefly caught the shadow of a familiar twist of a smile upon her face. 

However the moment had gone just as quickly, having wavered and fell into genuine distress- the pain seemingly having won over as she finally collapsed.

He could only stand frozen at the sight as his fiancée laid in front of him until someone screamed; and as if time seemed to finally move again, there were suddenly people everywhere within the hallway, moving about in a panic, pushing him back as they flocked to the silent unmoving woman in attempts to save her.

A numb stray thought of how it was a useless feat- that wound would have cut through too many vital veins. It was admittedly a showy move, but deadly none the less. It was known to kill your opponent- It was used as a last minute battle strategy-

She was the one who told him that- So why had he used it anyways?

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‘A person’s greatest secret will always come to light at the most memorable of times. However take care, as once that great secret is learned, it would forever leave a mark on it’s audience.’ - Unknown

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It was a strange thing to have always remembered; an old passage found from a young age in a dusty old book that she had once while avoiding her studies, one that any other normal person would have just skimmed over without second glance.

But for some reason, it had always stuck to her; remaining a mere whisper in the back of her mind.

Maybe it was because she had came to own a great secret herself; one that she had been holding onto for years, long before her debut.

One that had made her realize that her perfect prince, was just a little less perfect then he acted.

Granted, It wasn’t anything she’d ever be held hostage over, or even denounced for, if she had ever decided to spread it far beyond the countryside; but Katarina knew that he’d probably never forgive her when he did find out. The poor bastard was far too consumed in his need to perfect every task given to him; especially one that would be used quite often throughout their lives.

It was just one thing that was slightly off, that he had never been able to overcome in their time together; just annoying enough that it would dent that ego of his for having been side-blinded to when he came to realize.

His inability to properly perform a ballroom dance.

Sure, Prince Gerald knew how to do it in theory; each step and turn, when to dip her or twirl her. In fact, as they grew older, to anyone looking into their glass box, they’d think the two were gliding across the dance floor with ease; a perfect pair.

Though in truth, it was less gliding with ease, and moreso hours of practicing alone in order to keep him off her toes; his movements always half a step faster then the music played.

Though with that in mind, she supposed it probably wasn’t that much of a secret. Their old instructor definitely knew; and probably any other advanced dancer who had watched them, only wisely kept their mouth shut, and looking the other way.

It was sometime after they started taking certain lessons together; as had only been right to remain as partners as they were engaged to each other.

The first set of lessons themselves were completed with ease; instructors showing them in example, the two being put to practice, then rinse and repeat. Even she had been surprised at how easily she had taken to it all; though she supposed it hadn’t been academics, had it?

Though eventually they had to start preparing to on how to present themselves in public view; from higher etiquette, to how they moved on the floor of the events they would soon attend.

It had been an exciting prospect for her at first; being taught to dance with a partner. Even, even as she took in his lack of reaction, eyes looking through her as they always had; she refused to wilt. She wanted to enjoy it the best that she could, even if it would only last a few lessons.

Except, those few lessons ended up lasting much longer then either had expected.

Their original schedule had assumed to take two, maybe three month’s worth of lessons, based on accommodating for her learning speed. But no matter what their instructor tried, they never improved; eventually tipping past the four month mark with nothing to show for it.

It had been jarring, receiving harsh words to her face, instead of behind her back; and eventually she came to start believing the vicious words that stated that she was the one completely at fault.

Even after, with accepting the extra help, and encouragements from his highness, nothing had changed; and eventually, those kind words were replaced with heavy silence; and as the lessons continued to be extended, his mood dropped even further, as they were forced to repeat the same thing over, and over again.

He may have never outwardly showed it; but Katarina had been by his side long enough to know his tells.

But then the most curious thing happened.

One lesson, she had entered the room only to find an older woman in place of their usual instructor; Prince Gerald having apparently taken it in his own hands to find a new teacher for them.

It had been embarrassing at first, having to show this new person, Lady Dores, her two left feet. Though that feeling hadn’t remained for long.

She was a very interesting person; her gray hair pulled up neatly, skin clear of make-up, showing her true age. Yet she was still very elegant, the picture of a high class noble, holding herself much like her mother.

It had been comforting.

After the introductions, the woman had immediately given them the floor, wanting to see how they’d been taught; and then, within a few steps into the dance she had cut the music off, already marching towards them in determination.

It had been a moment Katarina would never forget.

The look of sheer shock on his face that day, to find out that he was the problem? When instead of being told what Katarina had done wrong, Lady Dores had turned towards Prince Gerald; scolding him for his hot feet, and for nearly pulling his partner’s arm from it’s socket. All without any concern of rank.

It had left Katarina in a great mood the rest of that week.

The next few lessons only continued to show just how different the woman was compared to all their other teachers. Even Prince Gerald seemed to gain a new liveliness; now that the root of the problem had been discovered, he had been focused on his problem with hints of childlike determination.

All whilst, after having been explained the issues as well, Katarina had started to see that despite the claims of their previous teacher, their skill had never been her fault; in fact, apparently she been the one on point. When she tripped, it had been because Prince Gerald had suddenly pull her into a turn too quickly; or when she stumbled about, or even fell to the ground, it was because as she was twirled a beat too early.

Of course, with Prince Gerald practicing ruthlessly to get his own feet to slow down, it was her body that still took the brute of it, and that had been fun to explain to her mother as it soon become a normal routine for a time.

Returning home with more bruises, and refusing to move once she flung herself to her bed due to all her aching. Anne having to continuously prepare a cold basin and ointment every time Katarina returned home from her lessons; even Keith had given the patches of brown and purple a glance of concern the rare time she saw him. But in the end, she hadn’t minded too much; because Prince Gerald finally seemed more equal to her, more like the young boy he was.

However, that sweet little moment could only last so long.

With Prince Gerald having been so use to getting things right only after a few tries, after a time, he had began to take the constant corrections pretty badly; especially as he seemed to keep falling back into his bad habit, always just a step faster then the music.

It hadn’t helped that other nobles, who never seemed to have anything better to do, started spreading gossip amongst themselves; whispers about how unusually long their basic dance lessons were taking. although by the end, they only ever gotten as far as placing the blame for it on her; not that she had ever cared for what was said about her.

But of course, he did.

He was the perfect prince. He had been expected to get things done quickly, and with perfection; the one that everyone always had their eyes on, as he was the most likely to get the crown.

The pressure having gotten so out of hand early in life, that he had long since began to expect these things of himself as well, and that had been what hurt her the most; the disappointment he had for himself.

That was why she had made that foolish plan in the first place; taking things into her own hands, just as her mother had once taught her. 'That one had to do things themselves In order for things to get done properly.'

Taking into consideration with how much time she would have in between; she made sure to keep careful note of their instructor’s criticism; returning home only to spend endless hours in practice until their next lesson.

It may have been incredibly stupid at the time, deciding to try and fix things herself; but in the end it had been all worth it, all the whilst becoming her most cherished memory.

That day was one to remember for numerous reasons; Prince Gerald having arrived looking just a smidgen off for once. His hair with slight lifts that hadn’t been pressed, his clothes just slightly off kilt, as if he had fallen asleep in the carriage on the way there. Though with his eyes slightly red, she hadn’t doubted the possibility he had spent another late night due to some responsibility given to him

But all that did was motivate Katarina to make sure her plan worked.

Standing together, the two awaiting for their cue to start; and once the first note played, she immediately switched her footing, shifting her posture in order to be able to match her pace with his. Watching in fascination as his blues suddenly seemed to light up when she barely stumbled as they turned, or when his twirl ended with her in his arms, and not on the ground.

How the corners of his mouth lifting faintly, an excited boyish smile taking place of it’s usual fake curve.

When the music had finally ended, the two had parted; stepping back to gestured their thanks in bow, and curtsy. But even as she straightened herself in her spot, an arms length away; his buzzing energy had been palpable, sparking a flame of pride in her chest for being responsible for it.

However, there had been one last obstacle to face.

As Lady Dores made her way to them, an intrigued frown as they stared off. Katarina could remember trying to she steel her self, giving her a pointed glare from behind the Prince; silently praying it matched her mother’s.

It had probably been the most tense moment of her life at the time, and her stance most likely not effective in the least. Yet, Lady Dores seemed to accept what Katarina had done; hinting a knowing smile in her direction before giving them praise, and having them take place once more to fix the little details they would need to refine.

It had only took two more classes after that, and then they were formally deemed finished with their dance lessons; and although Katarina had been sad it that it was over, she had been greatly rewarded. As for the first time, Prince Gerald had initiated an invitation to return with him for tea.

She could still distantly recall being unable to stop the flash heat that flushed her cheeks, as he later asked her to practice with him some more; the two dancing into the evening like the children they were.

Admittedly, it was only after some time had passed that she had realized her mistake.

Though she had originally worried about him finding out the deed itself; it was soon replaced with the fear of some poor girl having asked for a dance, only to be nearly thrown off her feet the moment the music began. Beyond the outrage she would be faced with, the public humiliation Prince Gerald would face as a royal son would be devastating.

However, by the time she had gathered the nerve to tell him, she had came to realize it wasn’t a concern to ever be had. As the boy she would come to continue to grow up with, even after coming of age, would never dance with anyone other then herself.

If she had been asked long ago, she would have stated it was because he wanted to only dance with her, that she was his partner. But as the years pass on, even as they had became more estranged as they came to age, she had come to know better.

She was not the heroine of her own story.

Even on the night of her debut, with Prince Gerald at her side playing his part in escorting her, she had felt as if she had been facing her new world alone; and though she had refused to accept the truth concerning her future, she did discard her old foolish hopes, and dreams behind her. The next day entering high society with head held high, and a cold smile in place to protect her.

Though sometimes, when she was spared from her responsibilities, she would even allow her mind to dangerously drift back to those foolish dreams; wondering if he would ever find that person he’d step in sync with, or if she would ever be able to find that someone who would take things into their own hands to make her happy, keeping it their own secret.

If either of them did find that person, would they simply abandon the other for their own happiness?

Of course she had never thought past that, never believed such a scenario would come to fruit. At least, not until they had entered the Academy; and suddenly he had found that person, answering that question she had always left untouched.

Though she had never acknowledged it, she had always known he would never truly see her. She was merely a ghost of weight on his arm, a faceless shield he had chosen as a child to stop his pests; and as time passed, a tool in order to fulfill his later duties to produce an heir.

So when she had seen them together that one day; those eyes that mirroring the sky, brightening with ease,as they had once long ago- that was why it had cut so deeply. Admittedly, Katarina had showed that hurt the only way she had known how; by returning it ten fold towards the source of her pain.

She began targeting the girl who so easily reflected in his eyes. Continuing on, even as those same eyes that mirrored the sky hue, darken in a stormy rage, harsh words leaving his tongue, yet never taking any real motion to stop her. Forgoing even her own morals, her actions slowly escalating far beyond acceptable, being unable to stop herself. The hurt, the anger, the humiliation; and all for what?

In the end, nothing Katarina had ever really made it through to him.

Even when it had all started, he had only ever scolded her when it benefited him; throwing empty threats, but making no real movement to follow them, probably until he finally had that girl. Ignoring her actions behind curtains or towards others, only stepping in when things escalated far past possible redemption.

Even when protecting the light user, standing there with his blade stained red; Katarina was left to near tears in frustration, because even pale faced, he was still only looking through her.

That’s why, as she collapsed in her own blood, growing ever so colder; she had made her decision, and gave no final words.

Even as she laid dying; as she burned with the desire to tell him the tale of that little girl, and what she had done so long ago. Even if just to see if his shock, to see if it would finally get him to look at her. The little whispers told her otherwise.

So, she would remain silent, exiting the stage without a word; leaving him eventually come to learn of that secret on his own. When he finally brought the girl to an event; offering his hand her, to finally have their first dance as a couple in front of the masses, to take that first step-

He would be forced to remember her.

Because, even though that first passage had stated that great secret’s would only come to light at the most memorable of times-

==== To anyone who follows me. Sorry, but it’ll be awhile longer until the next story is put out.

Yesterday I had finished up my latest fic that I’d been working on the last month, and was outlining part 2 of it (just to make sure it flows) before I posted it online; but as it’s completely based on online surveillance, and with the recent news I’ve just found out about, of the Anonymous Hacking group showing up again, and just with everything going on I don’t feel comfortable posting it, at least any time soon.

So, i’ve currently put it on the back burner for now and am working hard on another WIP I had outlined already in hopes of being able to post something else soon, as I find immersing yourself in written works can somewhat help calm or distract people in stressful situations.

Again, I’m sorry about the delay, and I hope everyone stay’s safe in these hard times.