Dr Queenie Lin-King

[pm] Long story. I think she runs a pie business now. I think I'm a baker in a pie business now. I don't want to be a baker. Just don't buy a goddamn pie, okay? Or I mean do but don't.

[pm] Is she that desperate for money that she is using you as cheap labor? Tell her to use that useless piece of paper she got from medical school to get a job. At one point, she was even adequate at it. 

You’re giving me very mixed signals. Do you want me to buy your pies or not? What flavors do you make?

[pm] Why would Regan want me to buy a pie?

I’m late to go on hiatus and I’m late to post about going on hiatus. 

Hello! Just an FYI to the group that I will be on hiatus for the rest of the month with a goal to be back in action around April! I know I have dash and chatzies that I owe and will get to them as I am able to so my apologies for any delays to people I owe!

Yup. That’s good, if I’ve learned one thing it’s that you should probably be fond of your husband. 

It does seem to be quite the issue, perhaps it’s because we’re bordered by quite a lot of forrest. And supernatural creatures.

Really thick, like Silent Hill levels of fog.

Well congrats on no longer being with a husband you are not fond of.

Apparently they need to hire some more park rangers. Or animal control or whoever handles stuff like that. If people keep getting hurt.

Hey, well, it worked out for you, so it can’t be a total loss. I’ve heard bear spray can work on moose well enough too, mostly because shooting spicy shit in the eyes of anything will get it to back off. I keep some bear spray on me when I go hiking just in case after I had my weird run in.

Might be, who knows. Maybe it’s magic, maybe it’s Maybelline. You’re not wrong about that. People like to do stupid shit all the time, even when they know exactly how dumb it is. But, that thought process makes up a large part of my work volume so I can’t say much.

I’m not exactly a guide, but sure. You trying to get into hiking, like some new years resolution or something?

I guess. Very effective if you happen to have a flare gun on you at all times. I can’t imagine why any normal or sane person would carry that in their purse. Bear spray? That is a real thing? It can’t hurt to try it.

Your work volume as in the tattoos? I believe we have spoken before about it. Do you have a lot of intoxicated people getting stupid tattoos? Is that what you are referring to?

Oh, I can imagine. If ghosts were real and I ever died again I would haunt my ex husband, too. Not for suggesting I move here, just for being a dick.

Yeah, I’ve started taking afternoon walks around the block instead, burns off a little energy and gets me some fresh air without all the risk factor to it. Well there was that one time we had a crazy ammount of fog with fish in it for a few days, and Regan with wings offering me a dead squirrel but other than that I can’t say I have.

I suppose it's a good thing that he is an ex husband then? Unfortunately, I am quite fond of my husband. But that wouldn't stop me from haunting him.

A short space is probably the safest bet, if these town's statistics are anything to take seriously. It doesn't seem likely that as many people could get attacked by wild animals in this town, but the hospital proves it's not just random one-offs.

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What exactly did you eat before you saw this manic moose, Sweetheart?

More important, if it was real and you’re not just fucking with all of us, why would you post this on the internet instead of calling animal control.

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Sweetheart? I actually prefer Doctor, thank you. I had a granola bar.

∞

What the hell is up with everyone and mooses in this place? I swear, I’ve just read like three to five people ranting about mooses. Did the mimes start herding them or something? Oh, that sounds like an animal control thing. What were you two doing in the woods? Thanks for the info, though. I’ll keep this in mind should I ever feel like going out in the woods. Wait, can Zorp turn himself into a moose? Why, though?

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I’m not sure animal control can do much when it was out in the wilds. Though if it has attacked anyone else maybe I can reach out to my contact in the business. 

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Well at least you made it out alright, that’s the most important thing.

Yeah, I used to take walks out there on an evening but I stopped a little while ago and now I am very glad I did.

Absolutely. Not that I believe in ghosts, that would be ridiculous. But speaking purely facetiously, if I died hiking in the woods I would haunt my husband for suggesting we move back to his hometown in the first place.

……… I didn’t know moose attacked people! How close to the edge of town? Which edge of town, there are woods like… most of the way around… 

Are you okay?

I don’t know moose at all. I never wanted to know a moose. Especially this one who wanted me dead so much. I don’t know where I was. I was in the woods. Somewhere on the outskirts of the town. Somewhere between the path I got lost and the path I found afterwards. So somewhere in the woods along there.

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A specifically big moose huh?

[pm] Where abouts in the woods was it? Along one of the hiking trails or?

How many eyes did it have?? Two or?

I CAN’T ASK THAT 

I mean like I know a moose in the area that only has the one not three. How aggressive was it? 

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Well all moose are big. Though this one seemed especially large. Probably. I moved here from NYC, I don’t have a lot of experience with the species.

[pm] I have no clue. I was in the woods, got lost and ran into some woman. Before she could show me how to get back to the path the moose attacked us. I’m not super familiar with the area.

How many eyes? What are you talking about. It had two. Like all moose. 

Fair. Well, good thing you found someone else out there, who knows what could have happened if you’d stayed lost out there. Beyond the obvious angry moose encounter you already had.

Yeah, almost like it was literally seeing red? Glad to hear it. Hey, who knows. Could be some kind of… pissed rabid moose that sounds believable going around in the mountains. For sure, for sure. I’m sure the last thing park rangers need is to tell people “Beware of the killer moose in them there hills.”

I do when weird fucking Lorax wannabes aren’t speaking for the trees, yeah. I grew up around here, I know a good chunk of the woods outside of town like the back of my hand.

Good point. And lucky me that for whatever reason that random stranger had a flare gun. I couldn’t imagine a practical use for the thing until she shot the moose in the face. 

Seeing red? No, no that’s ridiculous. The eyes couldn’t literally be glowing. That’s not possible. That’s interesting. Perhaps they were bloodshot. Or something else completely normal. If I’ve learned anything it’s that regardless of the apparent danger, people will ignore it and go out into the dark woods or ocean or whatever regardless. For as evolved as humans are, we are not very intelligent collectively.

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You saw a large moose with sharp antlers? And you find this surprising? You do realize this is Maine and not New York City, right?

What did you to bother it? Were you trying to correct its surgical technique? 

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Trust me, it’s very obvious that this isn’t New York City. If you had nothing to contribute to my question to the public, I would recommend not replying at all. Your feedback is not only useless, but actively clogging my replies that may contain real replies.

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A hostile moose..? Hang on, was it that shit

Were you out near Lyssa’s Peak? Me and I ran into some shit out there once, had a bad situation where I nearly lit myself on fire got gored by one. Looked pissed as fuck, prone to charging, kinda fucked up eyes angry look in its eyes? Happened a long time ago, but it’s wild to think that that thing is still running around out there.

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I wish I could tell you exactly where I was, but unfortunately I ended up there because I accidentally strayed off the path. I was lost in the woods for awhile, and some other woman was helping me find the path again. Until that moose showed up.

Angry look in it’s eyes you say? I can’t read wild moose facial expressions, but if I could I would have hypothesized that it was not very happy. I came way too close to running into those antlers myself. It’s hard to imagine that we both ran into the same exact moose, but it’s lucky that the two of us both got away.