i love pitting classically trained magic users against self-taught magic users in sci-fi/fantasy but it shouldn’t be snobbish disdain for them it should be terror
“What do you mean I don’t have to burn half my blood to create a fireball?”
“Why can you teleport more than once without vomiting? WTF is ‘quantum displacement awareness’???”
“You know HOW many spells? HOW? ... What do you mean ‘my spell book’?”
“Ooooh, you’re just summoning water portions from the Plane of Water... Lol I thought I HAD to combine hydrogen and oxygen molecules to generate water in small amounts. That’s so much easier then what I was doing!”
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hey kinda messed up that 1st degree burn is the mildest burn but 1st degree murder is the worst murder. they should have collaborated more on that one.
My favourite form of humour on this site is the panneau of a banal, non-sexual, everyday circumstance acted out by traditional caricatures borrowed from popular BDSM roleplay
*comes home from the store to find my anxious puppyboy BF chewing a hole in my sofa because I didn’t leave the TV on for him to make it feel like someone was in the house*
MFW I’m doing my very best to trot like a good pony but my mistress approached me from behind without warning so I reflexively kicked her in the head with my powerful hooves and now she’s on concussion protocol 🐎💃
Boyfriend comes home with handcuffs and a badge pins u to the wall and says u have been a very naughty boy but he failed to identify himself as law enforcement prior to entry and will not state the purpose of his presence so u call the OPCC and file a report of police misconduct
Non-binary catgirl owner dies unexpectedly of natural causes and their catgirl GF has to eat her to survive because she can’t open the lid on the kibble bucket
this might sound stupid but I can’t help but believe that the new wave of “birth control is actually horrible for your body, you need to get off it immediately” misinformation from influencers and the ‘natural cycle tracking’ apps suddenly being advertised is a sneaky underhanded way of causing more unplanned pregnancies that people now cannot abort. now is possibly the worst time ever to turn towards ‘natural family planning’
“doctors often use birth control is often used as a panacea to avoid addressing any issues in the reproductive tract. different forms of birth control can react poorly with your individual physiology so it’s important to keep trying different options until you find one that works for you. it’s okay if hormonal birth control is not for you, it is crucial to the health and wellbeing of some people but might not be a good option for you.” sensible, educational, empowering.
“all birth control causes cancer and strokes and it destroys your fertility* and your body so you need to get off of it NOW. detox off birth control. big pharma is LYING TO YOU!!!” reeks of ulterior motivations, spreads dangerous misinformation, often pops up in thinly veiled alt-right ‘alternative wellness’ spaces, once again being spread in the wake of abortion being criminalized and more people expressing fear of having planned pregnancies in today’s world.
(*failing to mention that pregnancy can also cause cancer, strokes, hemorrhages, permanent reproductive harm etc.)
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I do unfortunately think some people on the internet need to learn that my body my choice also extends to the choices you don't agree with like having a child, weight loss medication, modesty clothing, etc. if I doesn't affect you than it's none of your business
i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.
she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.
so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.
babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?
you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.
skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.
(it was not my best costume.)
my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.
so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.
i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.
so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.
so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.
"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"
and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said
"overalls"
and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."
and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.
the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.
first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.
second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.
and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.
she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."
"lets watch shrek 2."
so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.
every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.
I have never considered myself to have any particular obligation to younger people but after reading this, it was like I was possessed by some parental spirit and I just want to grip your younger self by the shoulder like Harrison ford being a dad and go, like, “I’m sorry champ”. I’m sorry champ. That’s so tough son. I can’t even remotely begin to address this buddy. Let’s go get a milkshake
i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.
she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.
so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.
babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?
you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.
skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.
(it was not my best costume.)
my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.
so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.
i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.
so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.
so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.
"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"
and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said
"overalls"
and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."
and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.
the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.
first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.
second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.
and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.
she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."
"lets watch shrek 2."
so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.
every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.
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Remember the person who snitched on Luigi? All because they wanted the reward, which they ended up not getting because the police & government used loopholes to get out of paying it.
The same thing will happen if you rat out immigrants. The odds of you getting the money are low. It's a carrot on a stick to get you to do the work for them.
here's libreoffice, its similar enough to the microsoft suite to be useful to me.
its a free open source software. i downloaded this as soon as the AI shit rolled around and i stopped using MS suite & google docs because i was fucking tired of everything being online, but now if MS is gonna start charging for shit that should be free, only the more reason to use other programs. i know microsoft can be a little hard to escape but this is at least a start
notepad ++ it's free, it's slim, it has tabs, notepad but better in literally every way, you can customize it with tons of plugins, it's pretty much the standard in any IT company I've ever been at
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Took me until about halfway through college before I realized “study” means “play with the material in a variety of ways until you understand it” and not just “read the assigned chapters and do the homework” and I think that probably should have been discussed at some point prior to that.
Thinking about how every major city (except fort worth) in Texas is blue, votes democrat in every election, is majority liberal/left-leaning. It's driving me insane okay. The majority of Texans live in or around the major cities. Land does not vote.
75% of Texans live in BLUE!!!
This makes me want to put a toaster in the bath tub okay bye!!!
You guys don't get it, like if you're not from Texas you don't get it. Most people here seem to just wanna keep their guns and like not have to pay high taxes, but thats were their ""conservative "" views end. Texas is a minoriry-majority state. Dallas and Austin have some of the biggest LGBT populations in the US. To even call Texas a red state is CRAZY TO ME. ITS GERRYMANDERING!
Every one of those empty red squares gets representation in the state legislature. Those people representing 50 people and some cows are proposing laws. (I say this as someone living with cows in my neighborhood). And even then the districts are gerrymandered to break up any blue areas. My college town used to have a dem rep till they gerrymandered us to add more cow territory.
My state senate district weaves around 18 counties, including some partial counties, from central texas all the way to the border hundreds of miles away to make sure the absolute cunt of a state GOP senator we have stays in power.
If people outside these states want to do something to help us and stop the march of fascism you should be pressuring the federal government to address gerrymandering and voting rights. This cannot be a states rights thing. it's a human rights issue.
Here's the state senate districts @three--rings is talking about:
[source: txdot.gov]
Lotta cow territory lumped in with bits of city there. It's not just the state lege though. For fun, here's what the US congressional districts look like:
[source: txdot.gov]
Might be even worse. Shout out to TX-10 in particular that dodges around the city of Austin to pick up all the rich neighborhoods around Lake Travis on the west side to go with all those red Brazos Valley counties.
Hey, I wonder how this district map looks if we color it by—
ah.
[source: NY Times article about the latest round of redistricting gerrymandering]
My favorite gerrymandered Texas district is the one I used to live in, Houston's 18th. Represented by the legendary Sheila Jackson-Lee.
But look at this map.
It's the peachy thing. They literally just said "let's carve out all the black neighborhoods and also the gay ones and put them all together. Now both the 29th and the 7th are also democratic these days, but that's a recent development. (Okay the 29th has been dem controlled for a long time but the 7th only since 2019.)
Somebody reblogged this two year old post and I got all heated about this again.
Friendly reminder they are in power cause they cheat. They are not a majority. And they're trying to fix every race. Don't give up. We have the numbers.
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