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When U Ask The Cashier To Break a Twenty
And
He
Fucksyou....
Sort it.

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The Princess Bride is such a funny book to read after ONLY seeing the movie. Like Goldman made up a fake author from a fake country and proceeded to write the book as an abridged version of what the fake author wrote... and then he proceeds to add in notes to the "abridged version" mentioning all the boring world building stuff he skipped because it was boring.
Like shout out to William Goldman, man really did make an entire book that is just "the cool scenes you thought of in your head" and then made up a fake author to abridge so he doesn't have to connect them.
And it slaps
I used to work at a used bookstore, and had a group of three teenage boys come in wanting the "Unabridged Version" of Princess Bride.
They would not believe that it was a narrative device and the unabridged version didn't exist. Said no author would credit someone else for their own writing, that was ridiculous, and was there a guy who knew about fantasy they could talk to?
I grabbed a coworker and left him to deal with it. Heard him explaining the concept of a pen name as I walked away.
the unabridged princess bride đ¤goncharov
fictitious works of media that sound very interesting but can never exist in a way that lives up to the expectations built by their nonexistence
Although one of the big things of the "Unabridged Princess Bride" is that Goldman-as-character has declared that it's actually...super boring [if you aren't a tumblr user fascinated by political satire].
In Goldman's "footnotes," he describes how his father used to read The Princess Bride aloud to him; thus the book became Goldman's favorite without him ever actually reading the text. As a father, Goldman looked forward to sharing the story with his own son, going to great lengths to locate a copy for his son's birthday, only to be crushed when his son stops reading after the first chapter. When Goldman revisits the book himself, he discovers that what he believed was a straightforward adventure novel was in fact a bitter satire of politics in Morgenstern's native Florin, and that his father had been skipping all the political commentary and leaving in only "the good parts." This moves Goldman to abridge the book to a version resembling the one his father had read to him, while adding notes to summarize material he had "removed." Morgenstern and the "original version" are fictitious and used as a literary device to comment on the nature of adaptation and to draw a contrast between the love and adventure of the main story and the mundane aspects of everyday life.[5] The nations of Guilder and Florin are likewise pure fiction.[5] Each section or chapter takes place in a certain setting or place. It's an episodic structure with each "episode" taking place in a specific part of the Kingdom of Florin (the Cliffs of Insanity, the Fire Swamp or the Forest of Thieves). [6]
Also, this is too funny to leave out:
In the novel's commentary, Goldman writes that he added nothing to the "original" Morgenstern text. He did write one original scene, a loving reunion between Buttercup and Westley, but, he said, his publisher objected to this addition.[13] He invites any reader who wants to read the "Reunion Scene" to write to the publisher (formerly Harcourt Brace Jovanovich; now Random House) and request a copy. Many readers wrote in to the publisher and did receive a letter, but instead of an extra scene, the letter detailed the (obviously fictitious) legal problems that Goldman and his publishers encountered with the Morgenstern estate and its lawyer, Kermit Shog. This letter was revised and updated periodically; the 1987 revision mentioned the movie, while the 25th Anniversary Edition published the letter with an addendum about Kermit's lawyer granddaughter Carly. The 30th Anniversary Edition has a footnote that the three pages of the reunion scene were now available online.[14] However, the website itself contained nothing but the text of the original three letters. This website has since been taken down and superseded by the Houghton Mifflin Harcourt product page for the book, which provides the 2003 version of the Reunion Scene letter as a digital download.[15]
i feel like people should know. William Goldman doesn't just claim he's abridging a classic novel. He also claims that the classic novel was based on true events. Like this:
some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly
Phenomenal spare wheel cover I walked past the other day
"there's no platonic explanation for this" oh so you think the characters are aplatonic too? how cool that we share the same headcanon! đ we should discussâoh wait... you're just using that phrase because you can't see them as anything other than romantic âšď¸ that should count as false advertising. don't get my hopes up like that again
Like literally can we just say this shit gay asf and move on

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religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women
sewing affirmations
itâs okay that i donât have a sewing machine
i love backstitching by hand for hours
this has got to be great for my back
millions of my ancestors did this and they lived almost as long as i want to
iâm making so many beautiful things for my houseâoh goddamn it
Can we all agree in advance that, when Woke 2 hits, we need to make government penis-milking factories a reality, rather than just Jordan Peterson's paranoid fantasy?
Woke 2, in fact, needs to *actually* do all of things conservatives claimed Woke 1 was doing.
We WILL make litterboxes available in classrooms for children who identify as cats. We WILL introduce tax incentives to film and games studios to depict straight white men as evil and recast legacy characters as Black women with nose rings. We WILL punish your child for assuming male pronouns when referring to Julius Caesar.
We WILL replace all corporate HR departments with cultural Marxist political officers enforcing critical race theory-informed diversity-equity-and-inclusion policies, and you WILL go to prison for misgendering trans people.
peace and love on Earth..

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THE FRENCH FUJOSHI: and you will put ze tips of your penise togezher, oui? and you will insert yourself into 'iz boyhole, oui?
All gays will go to hellsite
What if in hellsite but not gay
NO!
String identified: A ga g t t at t t t ga T tag g a Ag agag Acctac ! T tag g a Ag agag Acctac
Closest match: Psylliodes chrysocephala genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Cabbage Stem Flea Beetle
(image source)
Idk if this was done before but here you go
I couldn't get this stupid idea out of my head, so I had to forcibly evict it

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The argument that the term ânarcissistic abuseâ is fine to use because narcissist or narcissistic doesnât refer to people with NPD is silly. Thatâs like saying autist or autistic doesnât refer to someone with autism.
hobbits were the peak of civilization in tolkien verse. jobs were Gardening, Stall At The Farmerâs Market, or Mailman. Shoes OFF, capris ON, 6 meals a day, high and fat as all shit. Names like Daddy TwofootâŚ.why the fuck are we horny for elves