Just Your Local Manic Pixie Dream Dad

its not ripe yet

someone probably getting their titties sucked rn and i’m here just…chillin

I’m so glad he rescued those dogs from space

the government deleted the sides of his hair for this tweet

wish i could go outside without putting shoes on 

you can

my feet sensitive : \ it’s cold : \

socks

socks get dirty : (

Put on shoes then

This is one of those “I scrolled down hoping for an explanation” things

The look in his eyes is majestic.

I feel like he’s a tour guide in a meninist museum who hates his job

Your sacrifice for rustling my jimmies are dearly noted brother. May the base God bless you for eternity.

if I die please don’t let my mom bury me with a ugly wig. Please let her know 28 inches of Brazilian wavy with a silk lace closure is what I wanted. Thank you.

28 inches and a silk lace closure? ima rob your grave.

I’d deadass come back to life like Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen and fight you like I was number 1

its tuesday, ive had a glass of wine, and honestly Aurora Knew what the fuck she was doin when she pricked her finger on that spindle man. she was TIRED. she was fully done dude. She was 16 YEARS OLD!!!! if i had the chance to sleep for a hundred years when i was 16 you know id take my chances