as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache
d e v o n

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@conversationswithmyself
as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

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haiku 48
why do you touch me
like you will never let go,
but you wont look at me?
haiku 48
i want to rip my
chest open and leave my heart
at their garden gate
haiku 47
whilst traces of me
remain in your home, you still
have to think of me.
Salma Deera, from a poem titled "the curse of medea," featured in Letters from Medea: Poems

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(triple) haiku 46
lashing out, waiting
for retribution, it comes.
i crawl back like a-
bleeding out, waiting
for resolution, stagnate.
i crawl back like a-
reaching out, waiting
for reconciliation.
...i crawl back like a-
haiku 45
i have a new bed,
where you have never held me.
i miss you the same.
haiku 44
and so round 2 begins...
can i leave the ring intact
this time? i doubt it.
"I canβt wait to love you again tomorrow" by Gatito Sentimental

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Mutual pining is great, but you know what's even better? Mutual pining where they're both fully aware the feelings are requited, they just can't do anything about it for other reasons. Or maybe they technically could but they've had to choose not to, because of The Circumstances.
haiku 43
what is happening?
where is the love that you all
swear yourselves upon?
all hollow
last year was bad
but i had the sting of your fist on my face
and the gentle caress as you held me afterwards
this year is worse
now all i have is the sting of cheap champagne in my throat
and the only caress i have is your voice distant on the phone
saying you can't do anything to help
haiku 42
you nearly killed me
now i have to live with that
how fucking could you

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haiku 41
how is this better?
how is anything better?
why can't you hear me?
16/10 β 1.5
today i couldn't shower but i washed my face
i sat in the living room instead of my bed
i haven't eaten but i am seeing my friend
i told you i missed you but i'm not begging for your attention anymore
i am not getting better
i do not know if i will ever get better
i do not think i will ever get better
but today is the 16th of october and i am not crying
i am thinking about you and if you know it is the 16th of october
probably not
and that hurts
and that hurts but
i washed my face
i am sitting in the living room
i am seeing my friend
and i miss you