~

how can i be ready for future when i’m not even ready to get up in the morning

ok what the fuck

It sounds like some digital boss theme

@king-among-knights

a family doesn’t need to be a husband, a wife, a son, and a daughter. a family can be a husband, a metal husband, a cockroach half-son-half-husband who exists in a quantum state, a ghost son, an adopted flesh son who accidentally wandered into your pocket dimension, and 998 tins of coffee.

i don’t think there are 41 thousand people who came across this post and have also happened to watch all three episodes of monster factory: fallout 4, meaning some people just reblogged this without context, and as a result i’m seriously concerned about the degradation of what constitutes as humor on this website

@androgynouswraith @silverswirl @krycca

i just listened to this again and laughed so hard i got the hiccups

THAT DOG HAS SOME OPINIONS ON HER OWNERS’ HINGES!!! xD

“U NEED TO BUY AN OIL CAN HOOMANS”

How the fuck did it end up like this

This is the greatest thing I HAVE EVER SEEN

Remember when Tumblr used to do this dumb shit instead of perpetuating drama about problematic receipts that were years old?

How To Do Everything Last Minute: A Novel by me that I am going to write later