a stray dog irl

A new revolutionary therapy method combines CBT, CBT and CBT. The therapist gets you high and slaps your nuts every time you think things unhelpfully.

If you're at my funeral and you think it's a little boring, just spice it up. Drink a little too much. Flirt with a few people here and there. Start a fight. It's what I would've wanted

Don't do this; it makes mustard gas!

this is actually a symptom of being punk

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

I need to stop replying to “how do you make friends in your 30s?” threads because all my answers boil down to “you have to want to know people instead of have friends” and I don’t think people wanna hear that

It’s like. People can tell if you don’t really like or connect with them. If you aren’t truly enamored with someone you will have a hard time coming up with activities to do together to deepen the friendship. Because you don’t really like that person that much.

I wasn’t built to be employed. I need to stay up until 4 am like a normal person