VIX!

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

they should teach dogs how to type so they can go on Fragrantica

everyone needs to stop having sex youre supposed to jerk off to your concepts face down in your dark bedroom

Getting a lot of reblogs saying "undescribed" and "no image ID" etc, so please be aware that I did add alt text shortly after posting (it was a pain to copy on my phone so I did it on my desktop), but by then, it had already been reblogged by a couple of big blogs, so this alt-texted version is languishing, please do reblog it!

awesome how you can be a grown ass adult but approaching a meltdown makes you feel like a stupid little kid all over again if you try and tell anyone about what's happening

clown girl going down on you and all you hear is the sound of a slide whistle

your twenties are Also about discovering that you’re not a bad person in all the ways you believed you were but you’re a bad person in completely new and exciting ways

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people