Signs of winter..

Black Cap Mountain - Conway, New Hampshire

Scream with a closed mouth

for even saying anything because you were doing something nice. But I’ve asked you not to do said thing, or to double check with me about said thing to make sure it was done correctly. It’s not asking a lot but at the same time I feel like an awful, evil child.. daughter.. who complains about everything and is ungrateful. But when you’ve expressed something again and again, yet it gets ignored again and again… it’s not fair. It’s not right for any adult to treat another that way whether it’s my parent or not. She’s a bad roommate at this point. I need to leave, so I can miss her. I need to leave, so I can want to be around her and talk to her casually again. Being here has me stuck as a child, her child. Not a fully grown women less than a year from 30. Not my own person that I’ve formed over the years. I’m bound here. Chained. To the desire to be free and the guilt for wanting it… needing it. It pains me and saddens me but I still have hope. One day this guilt will fade and I’ll learn to stand strong in myself against her.

White Mountains of New Hampshire - July 2024

Don’t want to be here

I will free myself

Help me understand

I’m doing my best