get up and go!!!

That’s a tarot card

every post on iwaspoisoned.com starts with a guy being like yeah this smelled really bad and tasted really bad and looked wrong and i became violently ill after consuming it and you look at the attached photo and its a big jug with three X's and a skull on it

this is crazy i made this exact joke in a personal discord chat the other day. but this was posted 5 hours ago. what gives

do you want custody of the post

I just wanna hang out

seething about the fact that i will never experience photosynthesis in my own useless cells. i bet it feels so good when the light of the sun both warms you and fuels you at the same time. a bone-deep satisfaction mixed with a heated sugar-rush and endless brightness. not that i would fucking know

my upward spiral

tornado 🌪

Imagine I was calm and normal about things

[AFTER REVEALING VERY TELLING PERSONAL INFO] But don’t read into that. let’s move along

i gotta start saying more wholesome, respectful things about gerard

i think he'd look pretty in a sundress!

no panties

They just don’t release the hounds like they used to

in my day someone just let the dogs out. never did know who.

Yeah I think he probably lets all his limbs go limp and just gets hauled around by his arms like a ragdoll (I tense up as the audience starts murmuring to each other and shaking their heads) I mean he has sex normally. He can access his own body during sex

Ok everyone let’s think beautiful thoughts about masculine women today.

in hindsight the guy from the fault in our stars keeping an unlit cigarette in his mouth because he's already dying of cancer it's not from smoking is really fucking funny but sadly it was 2014