haha name jeff

Where I come from, we don’t worry about these fruity-tuity California style buds. Okay? I’m from Scranton. What i’m smoking is dirt. So lets get that straight jack. Pure brick. Ass. Okay? America- Americans are wanting to smoke that dirt, okay? You go up to someone and say, hey, I’m gonna give you a big bag of this heady bud, but I’m taking your stash of mids, they’re gonna say C’mon man! get out of here! *audience cheers* that’s right. that’s right. Get the hell out of here! We like stems! We like seeds! Where I come from.

this post is scripture to me like this is a seminal text. to me

does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it

YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!

it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon

Dogs do not show pain. There are dead in nature if they show it. One way to know if your dog is suffering. Muscels in his back are strained and his biting his teeth

actually if you look into its eyes you’ll see that my dog loves existing. it isn’t biting its teeth, it’s saying “Thank you Creator” and “Creator, I could take more. Go further.” the reason I know this is because I understand dog medicine better than you. but that’s not a reason to be embarrassed.

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

Imagine a bladeless knife with no handle. Now put the handle back. Now put the blade back. Yaaaay! everything okay! Yaaaaaaay!

After a 5 year hiatus, national embarrassment Conor McGregor debuts in his own mma tournament called World's Baddest Man and his very first move is to blow out his knee and collapse to the ground

tuesday is practice for wednesday