It's Hero Time!

Fake Relationship AU.

Muse A and Muse B are at a party. They haven’t met before. Suddenly, Muse A gets hit on by a pervert and tries to friendly tell the stranger to leave. He/She doesn’t leave though. Muse B watches the scene and when the stranger grabs on Muse A again, Muse B appears and wraps their arms around Muse A, pretending to be Muse A’s boyfriend/girlfriend. So, the stranger leaves Muse A and Muse B alone.

“And I fell in love instantly.”

“It’s probably nothing.“ 

“It becomes perfect when you learn to accept it for what it is.“ 

“If you see something, say nothing and drink to forget." 

"And you may find, as time passes, that you remember it less and less." 

"Look, I’ve probably said too much." 

"If you don’t hear from me again, it has truly been a pleasure." 

"We are not history yet." 

"You are safe now." 

"You can let go now." 

"We have nothing to speak about. There never was." 

"I have chosen to not be certain of anything at all." 

"There are many things I wish I could remember." 

"I do not live but I exist." 

"I don’t know if he listens to me sometimes." 

"We can do this together, you and I." 

"You don’t know what to say." 

"I know what I saw." 

"Regrets just bear us down." 

"You are all to me." 

"Think nothing of it; it’s forgotten." 

"There—now you know. Has that filled an emptiness for you? Are you any happier now?" 

"I have something of urgent importance to tell you." 

"And for now, existence is enough." 

"No, not you! Not you!" 

"Please, stay safe inside." 

"I just don’t believe violence is ever the answer—it is a question. The real answer is far more terrifying." 

"We can get along." 

"I’m coming in there." 

"There must be something beyond this something." 

"I will try not to be long." 

"I don’t know where I am." 

"I told you I would be back." 

"I let that woeful beast live." 

"We have each other." 

"As with life, and as with all things, it will pass." 

"Am I in Hell?”

“I am certain that there must be more to us than just us." 

"Let’s not dwell on our corpse strewn past; let’s celebrate our corpse strewn future." 

"I probably won’t miss you." 

"Well, let’s just find out together, shall we?" 

"And it’s just no good anymore. We can’t carry on like this." 

"Nothing is real, I don’t think. Whatever; who cares?" 

"When I die, I want to have earned it." 

"The present tense of regret is indecision." 

"The future tense of fear is either comedy or tragedy." 

"I can disappear if I want to." 

"And what if the void is not as void as we thought?" 

"Time is weird; so is space. I hope ours match again someday." 

"We should all be so lucky to set our own futures." 

"I fear for what we know." 

"I fear for what we don’t know." 

"We have nothing to fear and never did." 

"It is likely I will learn nothing from this." 

"After everything that happened, I just wanted to see you." 

"It is too late for us." 

"But maybe you shouldn’t sleep in your home anymore. Just in case." 

"Your sadness will know no bounds." 

"Nothing will be the same." 

"Nothing has ever been the same." 

"When something is this weird, one shouldn’t assume to understand anything specific about it at all." 

"Ignorance may not actually be bliss, but it certainly is less work." 

"No one has ever known anything—not really." 

"I don’t know much about anything at all, honestly." 

"Everything is some level of probably, nothing is a promise." 

"You don’t know, and so it might very well." 

"Nothing ever really happens to me." 

"Thanks, that means lot. Not to me, but your words hold a lot of meaning intrinsically." 

"So it’s best just to stay away." 

"It cannot give you what you need." 

"Oh, you don’t even want to know." 

"But it wasn’t what I thought it would be." 

"I’ll be back as soon as I can." 

"You have no idea how often it is just you and me." 

"There always seems to be something upsetting you." 

"It’s not that there’s nothing coming to get you; there’s everything coming to get you. But relax anyway." 

"Don’t worry. All is as it was meant to be." 

"It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and fleeting, don’t worry." 

"This is because I am also slightly malicious. Sorry about that." 

"Thinking about it now, nothing seems good, let alone perfect." 

"And those imperfections in our reality are the seams and the cracks into which our outsized love can seep and pool." 

"And sometimes we’re annoyed. And disappointed. And that, too, is a part of how love works." 

And I don’t mean like attractive cute, I mean like baby otter cute. What if the stumble upon us and go “ohhhhh my god!!! Oh my god!!!! I’m dying this is- look at it! Look at them!!! Oh my god!!!”

We usually imagine having to come up with some Devils trade or unholy arrangement to get tech and trade with aliens, but the instant they see us the aliens immediately set out into conservation efforts. They’re like “their habitat is becoming harsh and unlivable for them! We have to save them!” And everyone just puts a picture of us next to this information and they all agree “Look at them! We have to save them!!” We become like the panda mascots of intergalactic conservation efforts.

Simultaneously, our main export is just streams, videos, holograms, and photos of us. Aliens lose their composure completely over videos of us sneezing or yawning or eating pop tarts or playing video games or taking care of our kids.

There are lines of aliens who would LOVE to have a human in their home or on their ship. It’s a little condescending (we’re not sure if we’re guests or well treated exotic pets) but still a good opportunity, and any human who wants can go to space at any time basically for free or even for profit, and the aliens will go out of their way to give you anything you ask for.