Stupidity, Thy Name Is...

I wanna do one of those “if you’re lgbt put your orientation, sign and favorite tool in the tags” but I know most of The Gays have never touched a tool on their life. I’ll be left with 15 lesbians, one gay dude and a handful of bisexuals and they better all be tagging screwdrivers

I need to show you something but I want you to promise you’ll be angry

ok whore

Wtf gaud

Thanks. I hate it.

keep forgetting I have an assigned gender. blows my mind every time. utterly wild. crazy world we live in

wait what? We had GENDER HOMEWORK??

shit yeah dude it’s due first thing monday, u can copy mine if u want

What if we forget to do the gender homework tho

I’ll be honest, I just copied everyone else’s and passed it off as my own work

I’m not gonna lie. I thought I knew where I was going with it and now I’m just more confused.

Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same

Jerome is still not aware of his fame and idk how to announce him.

On hard days I wonder how Jerome is doing

I FOUND IT I FOUND IT I FUCKING FOUND IT AAAAAAAH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME FEEL

It’s really amazing how happy people get when they find this post omg

I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!

Coffee or Tea?

Mostly tea

Both, but mostly drinking coffee ☕🤏

Neither, I like water

i know the mortifying ordeal of being known is real for too many of us, but consider this: someone saw you once and loved your hairstyle. someone loves your laugh, how you scrunch your nose when you find something funny. your birthday could be an old friend’s password. that one song you recommended to your crush a couple summers back could still be their favorite. you are in other people’s birthday party photos. someone could’ve fallen in love with you on public transportation. our lives intertwine beautifully and you, dear human, are a little piece of other people’s fond, lovely memories. part of the ordeal of being known implies the ordeal of being loved. 

This sideways approach to measuring building height was featured in a chaper of Games for the Superintelligent by Jim Fixx (1972). In case, perhaps, you were looking for more cleverness.

love triangles can’t exist without at least 1 lgbt person. cishets just don’t know how shapes work

Most of the characters that people call a love triangle is really just a love corner. And the woman is usually backed into it.

Reblogging for the last comment

~honk honk~ 🥵🤡🤤

tumblr stop that!

When you slap a clowns ass it makes a honking sound

when you squeeze a clown’s nipple it sprays water at you like one of those trick flowers

wait until you hear about the enormous foot fetish

I am PHYSICALLY backing away from this post

*sensual honking emanates from behind you*

*gently strokes this post* something awful is happening here

This is one of the worst posts I’ve seen and gaud didn’t even do anything

is the gardener who cultivates the vine in no way responsible for the fruit it bears? if I prune the tree and nourish the soil, can the crop be said to spring forth as an act of god? nay, say I, no act of god but an act of ME. I, I who tilled the garden, who planted the seeds, who lovingly hand-plucked which comments to reblog, which branches to nourish, which vines to trim–and I did NOTHING? get out of my garden you whore

okay but imagine the riveting, animalistic car sex with a clown and a clown and a clown and a clown and a clown and

aaaaaand we’re back on track folks!

question! difference between ♥️ and ❤️?

♥️ is the grinches heart before and ❤ is his heart afterwards

okay I will accept this answer actually

♥️ influx of oxygen depleted blood from the veins ❤ discharging richly oxygenated blood to the arteries

excellent give me more wrong answers

bc of my crack fic people have been sending me every manner of Grinch x Tony the Tiger headcanon……who wants to hear the one that finally snapped me like a tennis player’s tendon

Please

I am ashamed to say that I put a lot of effort into this….

holy. fucking. STARS.

how have you done this…..why have you done it…..

I am the Lorax and I speak for the Christmas trees

white people baby naming culture peaked when bella really named her kid Renenemone

This is false information, her name is renegade

no it’s Remoulade like the sauce

it’s ratatouille you fucking casuals 

I thought her name was Renaissance

that’s actually really close

I thought her name was Resume

in THIS economy???

No, her name is reminisce

I’m frothing at the mouth

God I don’t like this