My Little Queer Space

ᏕᏣᏓᎸᏉᏕᏍᏗ - Detsadalvkwdesdi (deh-jah-dah-luh-kwod-dehsdee) -

Like one another without conditions, admire one another

Cherokee twined macrame cord bag.

I am still practicing with twining, one of our oldest forms of cloth making. Basket weaving is a much more practiced skill of mine but I enjoy the patterns that come with twining, it's also a much easier format for designs such as flags 🩵🩷🤍.

Living in rural Oklahoma when you are native is not easy to begin with but when you are not straight or not cis it can be even more dangerous at times. I have always been grateful for kin that have helped and supported each other along the way, in particular our trans women and two-spirit members.

Oh absolutely. Most of the time, when a person with PMOS declines the idea of being intersex, there's some weird explanation behind it.

I've seen this quite a few times with women who have PMOS. I've seen many of them say "I am not intersex, I am a woman" as if those are two distinct things.

The other thing I often hear is "well, hormones aren't enough to make me intersex", which just spreads misinformation about what intersexuality is, and also downplays people with other hormonal variations.

If someone chooses not to use the intersex label purely because they feel no attachment to it, that's one thing. But saying it's because it "devalues your gender identity" or "isn't enough to be intersex" is intersexist.

So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.

So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.

I didn't experience boyhood in any capacity, but I also didn't quite experience girlhood. I was a girl in a begrudging sort of sense, passively accepting the labels that seemed most logical, even if it didn't give me any feeling of recognition and I was aware of the difference between me and others. I also was heterosexual in the same way. Identities, experiences, feelings just seemed like something that happens to other people. I never got to feel feminine or beautiful pre transition, except maybe once or twice when I was a little kid and had purple shoes with little heels and a pink frilly dress.

I guess if someone queer looked at my photos from my childhood and adolescence, they'd rush to describe me as a tomboy, a gnc lesbian or a transmasc egg, but I didn't chose any of that myself and didn't feel any attachment to it. I had my hair cut short because my relatives thought long hair is a mess. I wore pants because my grandma thought I had very thin crooked legs as a kid, and after I stopped being a kid and got thighs due to puberty, it already was a habit. All my clothes were baggy, bordering on oversized, because my mom has sensory issues she projected onto me. My tits always looked smaller in comparison, because they removed wire and padding from my bras since they thought it could cause breast cancer. I was never allowed anything suggestive or revealing because of my grandma's religious hangups. I never used any makeup because I didn't have anyone to buy me any or to teach me. My perceived gender non conformity wasn't a search for options, it was absence of them.

I looked at other girls, in skirts, padded bras, with dyed hair, mascara, and all that, and felt envy and alienation and realization of my own fakeness. And I was preparing to live like that the rest of my life. Just accepting that nice things aren't for me, because there wasn't a single aspect of my life where I could have something nice and hold on to it.

Realizing I am trans gave me both a more acute sense how much everything sucks and a willingness to experiment and actually be something. Within the years following my understanding that I'm a man, I grew and dyed my hair several times, I learned to do my eyeliner, I bought my first lingerie and tight pants, I realized I actually can have feelings towards others (of any gender) and had sex for the first time, I realized I can actually be beautiful - not handsome, but beautiful.

you dodged 37 questions from family members about finding a partner

you were told 'you just need to find the right person' 13 times

you professed your love for the colour green 296 times

you ignored discourse about 63 inane ships

you had to listen to 925 unnecessary love songs on the radio

New stickers! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

B’tselem Elohim (spelled here with a quf to avoid writing a name of God) means “in the image of God.” It comes from Genesis 1:27

וַיִּבְרָ֨א אֱלֹקִים ׀ אֶת־הָֽאָדָם֙ בְּצַלְמ֔וֹ בְּצֶ֥לֶם אֱלֹקִים בָּרָ֣א אֹת֑וֹ זָכָ֥ר וּנְקֵבָ֖ה בָּרָ֥א אֹתָֽם׃

“And God created humankind in the divine image, creating it in the image of God—creating them male and female.” (Revised JPS translation, 2023)

Women wanted to be lawyers and engineers and chemists. They wanted to use their brains in challenging and interesting ways. They wanted to get the satisfaction from solving problems and inventing new shit and getting attention for it.

Remember you are a guest in this space. I don’t know a single person who would rather you shit yourself or get assaulted than use the disabled toilet, but please remember that these toilets are built and designed for disabled people after a huge amount of campaigning and activism.

Don’t touch or move things you don’t need to. If you’re not familiar with how things work or why they are where they are just leave it be. The position of a bin might not mean anything to you but it could be really important to a wheelchair user who needs to change their tampon. Don’t touch things like grab rails either – while they’re fairly tough and you’re unlikely to cause any damage it’s not impossible and if you don’t touch it, you can’t break it.

Related, but important enough to have its own point: please don’t touch the red cord. Do not tie it up, do not wrap it around anything, don’t tuck it behind a bin. Don’t touch it (The only exception to this is to untie a cord that’s been tied up) If the cord doesn’t fall freely to the floor it could prevent a disabled person calling for help in an emergency. If you’re worried about accidentally pulling it there’s almost always at least one reset button in there with you. Press that and it cancels the alarm.

If possible allow other people waiting to go first. A lot of disabilities, both visible and less apparent, can cause problems with incontinence, urgency or pain that make it difficult for someone to wait to use the toilet. If there’s someone else in the queue and you are able to do so, offering to let them go first might really help them out.

If you want to get a radar key, get it from disability rights UK or give a small donation to a disability charity (again only if you’re able to). I’ve seen a couple of trans orgs giving away free radar keys and it’s unclear how they are being sourced. Knockoffs are common but only “real” RADAR keys are from Disability Rights UK and any profits help fund their charity work. Bear in mind that most disabled people also have to pay for these keys which are about £5. (Disability Rights UK say their keys are to be sold to disabled people or organisations only, this is a legal thing they have to say about VAT relief. There is no real way of following up how disabled someone who buys a radar key is because you don’t need to claim any benefits to be eligible for VAT relief and keys are a low value item that isn’t worth anyone looking into when things like adapted cars exist. Be gay, do crime, support disabled people having rights.)

Know the difference between a standard accessible toilet and a changing places toilet. Don’t use a changing places toilet if there is any other safe option. These have a different symbol and are bigger and fitted with extra equipment for severely disabled people and our carers. That equipment is more sensitive than anything you’ll find in a standard accessible toilet so if you do find yourself in one touch nothing. Especially don’t move the hoist (lifting equipment) as it can cause it to run out of power and make the whole space functionally useless if it’s not in the right space on the track. (To be fair this is an unlikely scenario as there aren’t that many of these toilets, but just in case)