Alle

today I took a decision… that makes me feel light and at peace once again. It’s like I have been released… I feel that I can enjoy my life once more … read the books that I want, watch the movies that I am curious about, start the hobbies that peaks my interest… and start playing video games again… without pressure and guilt and stress. And that decision is to press the pause button on my academic journey. As you might now I am in my 3rd and final year of CompSci however during the past three years what started with curiosity now transformed in a burden for me, I was left utterly disappointed but how the teachers taught their courses… without any interest and it felt like they were just reading from a slide no passion no anything… and as a response to that I grew to not like CompSci so I am gonna stop here, I will still try coding but I will do it on my terms, with projects and coding language that I like … maybe at some point I will finish it but not now not in the near future, I need this break to try and rekindle whatever flame I have left … I want to find myself once again and I don’t want to get to that point that I will start to hate this domain so I will stop here and see where it gets me. Meanwhile I will focus on my job and myself… I will still post on here so my journey is not over yet.

I will be in slow maxing era now let the peace fill my soul

as always, stay safe 🪿❤️

Alle

long time no post… again 🫪

well u guys would have to excuse me but I just kinda let life get in the way…

dunno it is so hard to find motivation to do something these days. I am feeling a bit better now, so that is why I am posting here again

I am currently in my finals season @ uni, and I have so many exams that most probably I am not gonna pass cause honestly I am quite tired of learning what they teach us… so I am gonna leave u 3 pics that I took recently and I quite like

I know quite some time has passed since I laid my last words on this app.

honestly I lost the motivation to do anything… like literally anything. and as sad as it sounds, I was happily scrolling so don’t get too upset;

if ur wondering about my uni progress, well not much has changed… I will enroll in an extra yr for sure cause I cannot take all the failed classes and honestly I still don’t care about uni anymore but I kinda want that diploma so… lets get that degree I guess; its like I don’t have any passion for this field anymore as AI can do lots of IT related stuff nowadays and the professors… I think they are delusional cause they’re stuck in such old fashioned ways when they should teach us how to navigate this field with the help of AI but anyways… the thing is that I want that diploma and thats all;

I changed jobs in January, and I’m quite happy with the pay and what I have to do so that part of my life goes pretty well; I still have lots to learn but i’m getting there 🤍

also i wanna quit most of my doom scrolling, I feel that I consume more than I create and all I do is watch others peoples life instead of living my own… which is kinda sad cause I’m getting old and I don’t want this to be my life …

so I was thinking abt a faceless acc. maybe that will make me or force me do stuff … or at least thats what i hope …

Nov. 2 ☆

Hi there,

sooo... I was a lazy ass and I kinda did... well not much to nothing during October...

I know, I know... taking into consideration the sheer amount of exams I have this semester (11 to be more specific) it is quite irresponsible from my side...

I just don't feel motivated anymore... like to learn anything... I just wanna stay in bed, do nothing and watch tiktoks...

I don't like it... but I just don't have energy for it all anymore ... and it's sickening as I think I'm a lazy bum... (even though I know that parts of my energy are bussed around by my autoimmune disease, but still this is not an excuse)

I hope it will get better 🙏🏻

Now some positive news ♤

✅️ during this time I was still able to submit all my assignments so that's good

✅️ spoke with my professor about my thesis ideea

✅️ applied for a new job and got an interview

✅️ bought & started some coding classes by Code with Mosh, currently I'm actively doing the C++ one from him (I'm at the super beginning, but I like it until now, I'll keep going... maybe something will stick)

✅️ finished the speech for quite an important presentation I have at my current job

and that's all I can think for now as it's quite late and I'm quite tired (1 am)

Oct. 26 ♧

I've been trying to be more mindful about my consumerism lately... and this is what I came up with 🥹 I really like it, it's simple but honestly, it's everything I need at this point in my life.

I switch hear and there the lippies, the blush, the bronzer... but mainly these are the products I use 😁 ohh and SPF, big SPF lover here (sometimes I only use SPF with nothing else 🤭)

I plan to finish/pan my products before buying new ones ( 'cause trust me... I have lots of then 😬)

oct. 21 ♧ (updates as I go along)

hiii guys ⚔️

on today's episode we have C++ (OOP edition).

I have to retake the exam as I failed it last yr 🫠 so our professor asked us to create a git repo. and commit something each week.

this is my 1st commit to that repo. (I know... is kinda simple and easy, but trust me I forgot everything... so instead of being burned out beacuse of it, I decided to take small steps everyday 😌)

so today I created a class with constructor and a method, revised some basic C++ concepts and the syntax so I'll mark it a win 🦝

next on my to do:

✅️ macroeconomics homework (or at least to solve a part of it). I have 3 exercises with multiple subpoints

update, 22:27: I almost finished the 1st exercise... I simply cannot finish it tonight ... it's so so so long, 'till now I wrote 3 pages 🫠 , and I can concentrate no more tonight, but I'll allocate some time tmrw to finish it

✅️ laundry (put them in the washer and now I wait 🤭)

so, I'm in my 3rd and final (hopefully) yr of uni. 🫠 It's crazy how fast time passed...

this yr I really have to lock in 🔐 if I want to finish this uni.

I have 11 exams (from past yrs & this semester only) that I need to retake as I failed them😅 😔 , plus the classes for this yr... ohh and add to that horrible pile the dissertation as well 🫠 I have no clue how I'm gonna manage that above my work (cause yes, I also work full time 😁)

so, this is what my acc. will be for the time being. hopefully it will keep me productive/motivated enough to not give up. I will post here, my progress but also my struggles cause yea... life comes with both...

ohh and btw I am a cs student with a minor in economics 💻