reblog if ur mentally exhausted and have bad attendance bc me too
Three Goblin Art

romaâ

Origami Around
Stranger Things
Sade Olutola

titsay
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
taylor price
Cosimo Galluzzi

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation
AnasAbdin
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸


@theartofmadeline

Kaledo Art
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

JVL
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reblog if ur mentally exhausted and have bad attendance bc me too

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survivors of abuse have limits that can change very frequently. sometimes weâre less sensitive to triggers, while other times weâre more sensitive. i want to remind all of you: just because youâre feeling more sensitive today or any other day doesnât mean youâre weak. it doesnât mean youâre no longer making progress. it means that today your limits are just a little bit lower than usual. if you panic about something that normally wouldnât bother you at all, youâre not weak. there are ups and downs in recovery, good days and bad days. you arenât weak. youâve made it this far, and just for that, you are so strong. iâm proud of you.
Shout out to fat girls who have small boobs Shout out to fat girls with a flat butt Shout out to fat girls with big stomachs Shout out to fat girls with big arms Shout out to fat girls who arenât âproportionateâ Shout out to fat girls of color Shout out to fat trans girls Shout out to fat girls with disabilities Shout out to fat girls who donât dress âniceâ Shout out to every fat girl who feels left out of fat acceptance and body positive posts for not looking like a pin-up model. You are all beautiful as hell. Donât let anyone or anything make you feel like youâre any less than someone else.
Stick it to Autism Speaks using Web of Trust! (WoT)
A lot of people have the WoT addon / extension on their browser. Itâs a little circle that shows up next to links on search engines and some websites. You also can see the circle in your browserâs addon / extension area.Â
Gray circles means a site hasnât been rated yet, green circles mean the site is good / safe, yellow means itâs a bit iffy, and a red circle means the site is dangerous. âDangerousâ can be anything from driveby downloads / malware, scams, fraud, phising, hate speech, gruesome content, misleading / unethical claims and stuff like that.
WoT will warn you in a little popup when you click on a âredâ site and you have to confirm that you want to go there before you can continue to the site itself. This lets people quickly close out sites that may be dangerous to their computer.
A fancy little aside, WoT has alternate settings for people who are colorblind.
WoT depends on the ratings of users who visit websites. So that means if enough of us sign up and rate the Autism Speaks website into the red zone, people who use WoT will see the red danger circle and have to click through the warning to see the site. It may make many people stay away.
Thereâs a spot to type in why you think the site is dangerous. Thatâs where the autistic community can really sound off and state how harmful A$ is. We can make ourselves heard. Think of it as making the circle for A$ turn red for RedInstead.
Hereâs the link https://www.mywot.com/en/scorecard/autismspeaks.org
Friendly reminder
âDoing your bestâ does not mean working yourself to the point of a mental breakdown.
this one still smashes me in the face ten times a year. do not ignore pain, itâs no longer your best at that point

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Solidarity
[image description: first image: word âweâ is spelt with the pan pride flag with a white background. second image: black letters spell âareâ with the nonbinary pride flag as a background third image: black letters spell âf*inââ with the asexual pride flag as a background forth image: word âvalidâ is spelt with the bi pride flag with a white background ]
note to self: just because someone did the thing you were thinking about doing, and did it way better than you could ever hope to do, doesnât mean it would be stupid or pointless to go ahead and try to still do the thing anyway.Â
Also, when it comes to creative things? There really is no âbetterâ.
Sure, someone might be more technically accomplished than you - you might not be able to colour as nicely or craft a sentence that rings as poetically - but art is only really secondarily about that. Itâs firstmost about what you, uniquely, have to express, and how the precise way you express it might be what others need to relate to it - even if itâs less flashy, less âbeautifulâ, and gets fewer notes.
I promise you this: there are obscure fanfics with only a handful of notes that are the read-and-re-read favourites of someone too anxious to comment. There are drawings done by 14-year-olds in poorly-blended markers that are someoneâs favourite because they spoke to something that nothing else did. There are covers of songs where your voice cracks and you cringe every time you hear it but someone thinks the way it cracked just at that moment added beauty to the song. There are angsty three-line poems you wrote at 4am that someone once called âpretentious emo trashâ that are loved by someone else going through the same thing as you.
And I guarantee you, there is something unique about your art. Even if youâre âsaying something someone else has saidâ. Even if youâre the thousandth person to take on the subject. Even if you feel like youâre not at all unique. Youâre bound to express something, however subtle, that didnât exist until then.
Art is about connection. And the more you create, the more chance you have of finding other people who experience the world the way you do.
âBut the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.â via @neil-gaiman
The âtwo cakesâ theory of content production.Â
It was only yesterday that I was lamenting thing I no longer felt allowed to do because someone had done similar. Â I ought to read this post daily. Â Maybe twice daily.
Throwback to this iconic tweet
đ¤đ¤đ¤đ¤
It pretty much boils down to âI never had to think about it until it affected me personallyâ

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Concept: fantasy world where dragons are A Thing⢠but instead of them being these rare, semi-legendary creatures who exist solely to terrorise and wreak havoc and mayhem and burn inconveniences to a crisp theyâre like⌠dogs⌠vaguely domesticated catsâŚ
They come in loads of sizes and itâs a common thing to hear them scritching across your roof or rummaging in your garbage. You pass by like four every time you go to the market.
Thereâs even some snoozing at market stalls and strays playing with children and stealing scraps of food that fall in the street, with mottled scales and mixed textures of feathers and mismatched jewel colours.
Your favourite baker has three tiny western diamondtips who are in charge of keeping the ovens fired up and donât always eat all of the bread. Sometimes.
Linda Bagshot on the corner has a ground rooster who canât fly but always reaches up and stretches her neck out as far as she can to try and scrounge pets as you pass her garden wall.
A local inn is named after its summer aura who is the length of the room, all careful length and soft scales, with breath perfumed like spring breeze and scales that emanate just enough warmth to comfort, just enough that you wonât fall asleep, just enough that itâs tempting nonetheless.
The school you went to has a forest guardian older than the town itself who spends all his time slowly ambling down the corridors, and his favourites are the kids learning their first letters who like to read to him, sound out letters and marks that donât have any correlation just yet, and you know that nobody has conclusively proven that dragons understand human tongues but you also know that if anyone understands, itâs him.
Thereâs a festival of dragons, a public holiday where banners are strewn and candles glow even into the wee hours and rainbow confetti and paint clogs the streets and maybe some overexcited babies set things alight but thatâs ok, the town prepared better this year, far fewer people will lose their gardens and eyebrows this time, they promise.
And yes ok, there are big dragons. Ferocious dragons. Dragons that only come out once every ten years to feed and pillage. Dragons who rule the seas and shake mountains, who take flight and block out the stars. There are reasons you donât go into the woods at night, reasons some wells are avoided, reasons entire villages up and vanished without a trace.
But there are also dragons who curl up with your children to rock them to sleep, and ward off nightmares. There are dragons who open doors and fetch supplies and guide those without sight. There are dragons who mimic words and whistles and delight in your joy when they get them just right.
There are dragons who adopt orphaned piglets, kittens, lambs, calves, puppies, ducklings. There are dragons who sunbathe and dragons who need kept on ice and dragons who climb atop weather vanes in storms to conduct electricity. Dragons who sparkle like jewels in the light and dragons who glow in the dark and dragons with flora creeping in and around their scales and dragons who sound like windchimes when they fold their wings.
Concept: there are dragons.
There are so many dragons.
I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They werenât counting on bears.
Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30Â km/h (19Â mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800Â lbf).
By the time you realise that they can traverse water, itâs too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives; the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes.
You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come.
The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue.
âHippopotamus.â
This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinnedÂ
Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking âitâs fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders* hippopotamuses. Weâll be fine.â
And at first you are, youâve learned how to dodge. Youâve learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself.
But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. Youâre in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded âhipposâ around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind.
Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time.
You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees.
The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. Itâs musky and slightly foul. Itâs the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from.
You sit up, but itâs too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat.
It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. Itâs between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away.
Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadnât noticed before.
When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human.
âBadger.â they say, with a solemn nod.
One word: Moose
âOur vehicles are far superior to the local human models, in range, speed, armament, and any other metric you care to name! Nothing could possibly-â
BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!!
âThatâs called a moose.â
Wolverines.
Also.. dolphins.
The invasion is going slowly. The humans have caught on and are actively destroying information on the planetâs flora and fauna before Intelligence can capture and process it. All that they have are survivorsâ accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers. Moose. It is becoming obvious this mudball planet is a full-on Death World to the unprepared, and you are so very unprepared.
You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic reaction on contact that killed him in less than a rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked a tiny bit of her blood and apparently replaced it with a bit of its last meal, which was full of disease. Backwash. She died to bug backwash. And yet you honestly envy them after that⌠thing you encounteredâŚ
When you got back to base the quarantine officer refused to let you inside. They had to roll a containment tank outside to put you in, because you all knew there would be no chance of eliminating the smell if it got into the shipâs air ducts. Smell. You wonder if your nasal slit will ever recover from this stench.
And the smell would. Not. Leave. After incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you use every cleansing agent they could think of, including a few janitorial ones, and still everyone fled the stench if they were downwind of your tank. Desperate to protect everyoneâs nasal slits from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horrorâs spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didnât seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple.
Sighing in frustration you wave the med-assist on duty over, who only approaches after checking the wind direction. Annoyed, you flip on the tank`s vox speaker.
âThe humans did say it was âgrapeâ juice that removed âskunkâ stench, right?â
Every night.Â
It came for someone almost every night.Â
Any soldier alone was a viable target for this native monster that moved unseen by any but the security viewers, usually only spotted in hindsight. They were taken as silently as this earth-monster moved. Sometimes theyâd find the remains in the morning taken up a tree and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it were a grisly reminder that the monster was still there, waiting unseen, to strike again.Â
What little they saw of the monster on the vidfeed showed true horror. Yellow eyes that shone with all the light it could gather. It had fangs as long as his grasping digits. Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity. And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all.
Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it.Â
The earth natives called the monster a leopard. Â
It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt even more effectively as the soldiers were always on edge. Sleep deprived with fear, it made them even better targets for the monster.Â
But rumor was that there was worse on this planet. Rumors of a monster like a leopard but larger, and bigger in every imaginable sense. Stripped instead of spotted, which leaped from the underbrush with a sound.
A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed entire units, and let the monster kill with impunity. While the Leopard wrestled soldiers down and ripped their throats out. This other monster, the Tiger, killed with its pounce alone.
âWeâve been through this,â Group Leader 455 snapped. âThe dissection of an Earth life form will help the scientists make weapons to combat the rest of this planetâs hellbeasts. And these are domesticated. Harmless.â
The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they donât want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but canât quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent. âThe name of this species,â she pointed out, âis synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians.â Well, one language out of several thousandâthese creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on recordâbut there was no point in confusing the rank and file.
More not-quite-looking. 455 bubbled a sigh and consulted her scanner. âThat one,â she decided. âAlone in the separate pasture. Scans suggest that itâs a male, which means itâs probably weaker. Possibly itâs kept isolated so that the females donât eat it before mating season. And yes, I know some of you are here on punishment detail, but youâre still soldiers of the Imperium. This squad is perfectly capable of handling a lone, helpless, pathetic male cow.â
Iâm enjoying this immensely. Wait until the aliens try Australia for sizeâŚ
It was a strange creature Tar'van glimpsed at on the vast island known to the humans as âAustraliaâ.
âI would warn you not to fuck with us, mate.â Their forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. âIf you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back.â To this day Tar'van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring.
The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar'van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had seen these creatures before and they were tame. They barely escaped with 5 of the original 7 members of his squad.
Another moment Tar'van recalls was the brutal mauling they witnessed by the hands of a creature called an âEmuâ
âDonât feel too bad,â the prisioner mocked. âWe lost a war to the Emuâs as well.â
Now with only 4 members of their squad left, including themself, Tar'van had learned to listen to the prisoner, to be wary of the simplest of creatures. This human was of the sub-species of âZookeeperâ after all.
The âZookeeperâ looks off to the distance, where the creature is.
âItâs a kangaroo, leave it be and youâll be fine.â Tar'van nods, a human signal of acknowledgement if they are correct. The human smiles a bit.
âThat creature cannot possibly harm us.â Tar'vanâs squadleader protests. âIt is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back itâs head to show this human is a fearmongering liar.â
The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes.
âFucking do it mate, I dare ya.â The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called âKangarooâ.
âThis will be unpleasant.â A squadmate mutters as they watch their leader raise their fist and bring it down on the creature. The âKangarooâ looks a little stunned by the impact, before it raises itself upon its strong tail and uses its powerful heind legs to launch their squadleader backwards through the air.
Their squadleader lands upon the ground, unmoving with black blooded oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is the squads leader now.
âI donât know what they expected.â the human says, smugness filling their tone. âKangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8-pack and all.â
Tar'van steps forward to the human, whom inches back in a sign of fear as Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster, and in their first act as leader, frees the human of the bonds around their hands.
âPlease,â Tar'van bags. âGet us back safely.â
@kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a war to emus? Why was it necessary?
oh, mate, you never mess with the emus.
(Jesus christ. Dont get us started on kangaroos)
They had faced Emuâs. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu.
Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the large bird. âCassowaryâŚâ They mimic him in fear. Squawking the horrific name as another joins the first in the mad run towards them.
The only ones to survive was the native guide and Tar'van. The guide was carrying the soldier over his shoulder as they made their way back to the settlement. Tar'van was a wreck. Periodically alternating between rocking in complete silence and whispering broken words in horror. When they consulted the native all he said was âIts springâŚ. Magpie seasonâŚâ
âListen up, troops. This armour upgrade has been tested both in the laboratories of the best Imperial military scientists and in the field. We are impervious to the stings of any insect on this hellhole of a planet, striped or not! We can brave the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it at long last! Revenge for our fallen companions! Glory to the Emperor!â
âExcuse me,â the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squadâs cheers die on their lips. âThis is Japan. You havenât seen whatââ
âSilence, worm! No sting can penetrate this plating!â
The guide tries to warn them once again, merely earning a blow that throws them to their knees. The troops set out, morale high, certain in their ability to brave the wildlife now and thirsting for vengeance against the non-sentient native species. One soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A hollow sound follows.
In an instant, the soldier is the centre of a storm of the striped insects. At first, no one pays it any mind. Their little stings cannot penetrate the new plating, after all.
But then the soldier falls to his knees, and the squad stares in horror as the insects enclose him in layer upon layer of their own bodies, all moving. The squadâs medic yells a warning at everyone to stay back, watching the readouts of the unfortunate soldierâs armour on their diagnostic screen with undisguised horror. The insects arenât even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldierâs body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell.
Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. âJapanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too.â
âHow?â You ask. âHow has your species dominated this planet?âÂ
The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans do when they are happy. Yet you canât help but think of all the creatures with the their large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind of species uses a threat signal as a sign of happiness?)
âPersistence and ingenuity.â The human answers, still smiling.Â
It doesnât matter that this one is your prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as terrifying as their planet. Â
âAnd scattered about it ⌠were the Martiansâdead!âslain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all manâs devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, had put upon this earth.âÂ
â HG Wells, The War of the Worlds,1898
Iâm picturing aliens going up against a hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan.
I think at that point theyâd just give up.
Or fire ants
No one even MENTIONED snakes yetâŚ
This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE IT.
âLet us try the creatures that the humans keep for domestic companionshipâ
âIs that a miniature tiger?â
âWhy does this human own a small pack of wolves?â
The aliens ask their human captive why small wolves live with them.Â
âOh, you mean dogs? Yeah, theyâre the only animals that can keep up with us.â
The aliens look at each other in fear. âWhat do you mean?â
âOh well thatâs why you guys âwonâ is because humans arenât super fast or strong. I think my middle school biology teacher called us pursuit predators? It means we evolved to hunt things by following them at walking pace until they had to stop to sleep and then catching up to them then. Dogs are the only animals that can keep up with us. Did you know one time a pack of wolves tailed a herd of caribou for three days straight?â
âUh⌠okay, what about these small round things with big teeth?â
âOmg dude no if you give a hamster enought time that little fucker can chew through concrete :)â
The aliens wonder if the surrender of humanity was a trap.
Somebody do sharks or sea creatures next. Giant squids would wreak havoc on their ships.
The aliens have sophisticated technology which pretty much allows them to live underwater, which is something even the inventive humans have never managed. Submarines have nothing on alien submersion pods, which can withstand the crushing pressures of even the darkest depths of the oceans and seas.Â
The aliens arenât expecting any difficulties with their underwater expeditions. Of course, thatâs when four of the life signs on the central screen simply vanish, like theyâd never been there.Â
Alpha turns on the direct communication lines to the remaining submersion pods, and the only thing they hear through the tinny speakers is screaming.Â
Alpha resists the urge to turn and stare at the shackled human standing behind them, but Beta, Gamma and Theta have no such compunctions.Â
The human shrugs. âI mean, weâve never really been down there so weâre not entire sure, but weâve heard stories of giant squids and stuff. No smoke without fire, and all that.âÂ
âThere can be neither smoke nor fire underwater, human, cease your prattling.âÂ
The human snorts. âItâs a phrase. A metaphor? Man, I donât know, I studied marine biology, not literature.âÂ
The human is unable to tell them anything useful about what might have happened to the submersion pods, but retrieved footage later shows tentacled behemoths snaking out of the depths of disturbed silt and cold water, and crushing the submersion pods effortlessly, in full view of the outer-hull cameras. The monsters have giant beaks which rip through the organic alloy sheets, and into the bodies of the pod pilots within.Â
The outer-hull cameras register the blue of fresh spilled blood and gore, at the same time the on-board cameras register screaming and the red glow of critical power failure.Â
The last thing the aliens can see on the retrieved footage is thin, long, snakelike creatures appearing out of the darkness and gloom, creating their own light and descending upon the remains of their brethren. They are accompanied by creatures that look like plastic bags, but which feed upon the toxic remains of the organic alloy of which the pods were made.
The human appears completely nonchalant - there is no love lost between slave and master. âWait till you see sharks.âÂ
Iâve seen this post go around a few times, but this time I have some thoughts: 1) This is more or less the plot of Animorphs.
2) Earth has Poison Dart Frogs, weâre clearly a Death World.
3) Iâm now imagining them deciding to set up a base on the poles, because life on this planet is clearly dependant on plants. So, that frozen wasteland should be safe of any dangerous megafauna. Cue Polar Bear out of nowhere.
GIANT SQUID.Â
EVERY TIME I SEE THIS POST IT GETS BETTER.
Self care tips for executive dysfunction and sensory issues by an autistic, borderline, schizophrenic. - Instead of showering, wash your armpits with some soap in the sink (especially if youâre an Aussie rn). - Nobodyâs going to comment on hairy legs, if they do, donât be their friend. - Deodorant - Dry shampoo and a hairbrush - Wash your face with soap or something to prevent breakouts. - Good to wash your ears while youâre at it - If you wear earrings just take them out for a few days so you donât have to worry about changing them during a bad spell. If your skin has healed your holes wonât close up right away. - Get a washer for your genitals. Just use water. Hang it up somewhere where it will dry so you feel clean when you use it next. - Change your underwear. - If your feet are dirty you can wash them under a bathtub tap. -  If you use an electric toothbrush, keep a manual one at hand. Itâs quicker and easier to use on off days. Better than not brushing your teeth at all. I find I avoid brushing sometimes because the buzzing is sensory hell. - If you canât clean your teeth drink water after coffee so you donât get coffee breath. - Drink water or herbal tea before you sleep to try and avoid dry mouth and smelly breath. This might not work if youâre on certain medications. - Get a big waterbottle so you donât need to fill it up often. If you donât like the taste of water put a little bit of juice at the bottom to flavour it then fill up. - Itâs ok to not wear bras. Bralettes are more comfortable than bras if you have to wear something. - Remember donât wear a binder for too long. If youâre comfortable not wearing one at home itâll give your chest a breather. - Get some sloppy clothes to both wear around the house and sleep in like PJs, then you donât need to worry about changing or discomfort while youâre at home. - If you have to eat with your meds but you donât feel like it there are always drinks like soy milk that have plenty of protein and calories so you donât feel sick from taking them on an empty stomach.
For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons and feathers, only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion.
No matter how many times he did it, his parents never swooped in BEFORE the morningâs live 3-D reenactment of âInvasion of AstroMonster.â This is what theyâd say repeatedly:
âYou know! Boys will be boys!âÂ
âHeâs just going through a phase!â
âHeâs such a boy! He LOVES destroying things!â
âOh my god! Girls and boys are SO different!â
âHe. Just. Canât. Help himself!â
I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldnât have to rebuild the whole thing. In the meantime, I imagine his parents thinking, âWhat red-blooded boy wouldnât knock it down?â
She built a beautiful, glittery castle in a public space.
It was so tempting.
He just couldnât control himself and, being a boy, had violent inclinations.
She had to keep her building safe.
Her consent didnât matter. Besides, itâs not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasnât a âlegitimateâ knocking over if she didnât throw a tantrum.
His desire â for power, destruction, control, whatever- - was understandable.
Maybe she âshouldnât have gone to preschoolâ at all. OR, better if she just kept her building activities to home.
I know itâs a lurid metaphor, but I taught my daughter the preschool block precursor of donât âget rapedâ and this child, Boy #1, did not learn the preschool equivalent of âdonât rape.â
Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another personâs space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning.  How much of the boyâs behavior in coming years would be excused in these ways, be calibrated to meet these expectations and enforce the ârulesâ his parents kept repeating?
There was another boy who, similarly, decided to knock down her castle one day. When he did it his mother took him in hand, explained to him that it was not his to destroy, asked him how he thought my daughter felt after working so hard on her building and walked over with him so he could apologize. That probably wasnât much fun for him, but he did not do it again.
There was a third child. He was really smart. He asked if he could knock her building down. She, beneficent ruler of all pre-circle-time castle construction, said yes⌠but only after she was done building it and said it was OK. They worked out a plan together and eventually he started building things with her and they would both knock the thing down with unadulterated joy. You canât make this stuff up.
Take each of these three boys and consider what he might do when heâs older, say, at college, drunk at a party, mad at an ex-girlfriend who rebuffs him and uses words that she expects will be meaningful and respecte, âNo, I donât want to. Stop. Leave.â
The âoverarching attitudinal characteristicâ of abusive men is entitlement
This is so brilliant. We learn things from socialization process. What our parents, friends and peers do, media and all. I think perhaps rape is because parents think boys will be boys, they bully, fight and destroy things, itâs their characteristics so they donât bother to stop them. But it manifests in them, knowing or unknowingly, they will just think, because Iâm a boy and boys tend to do these, so it doesnât matter even if the girl hates it, says no, because Iâm a boy.
Just reblog this, this message is really powerful. For parents and future parents.
Whatâs also interesting, is if you frame this as about spoiling your children, and about spoiled children, people tend to agree and get it. Theyâll agree that children whose parents lay down no boundaries for them when they hurt others, who let them have whatever they want at the expense of others, and justify away the harm they do, will probably grow up thinking they can do this to others (usually weaker than them, or they perceive as weaker) as adults. But if you mention the word âprivilegeâ, âentitlementâ or anything relating to gender, everybody freaks the f- out and will deny up, down, back, forth, and sideways that how you raise a child, what you allow them to get away with, or training them that their hurtful behaviour will always be justified, can affect them at all.Â
ALL OF THIS.
Obligatry read FOR EVERYONE
The Problem with âBoys Will Be Boysâ
THIS
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someone: ahaha zoning out much? anyone home??? haha
me, dissociating: What