We need to start sexualizing the janitor's jumpsuit as the butch equivalent of the maid's uniform
That thing where the coveralls are unzipped and the arms are tied around their waist like a belt...
trying on a metaphor
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
dirt enthusiast
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her



#extradirty
Mike Driver
KIROKAZE

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
taylor price
DEAR READER

⁂
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Claire Keane
sheepfilms
Sweet Seals For You, Always
$LAYYYTER
d e v o n
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@colorofinsanity
We need to start sexualizing the janitor's jumpsuit as the butch equivalent of the maid's uniform
That thing where the coveralls are unzipped and the arms are tied around their waist like a belt...

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how it feels to wash your hair and brush your teeth and have clean clothes on
ooooo you wanna take a shower so bad
chewy dot com wants you to know that they are proud purveyors of fine Dog Exorcism Potions, btw
the ad copy says it can be used on camels. imagine someone with a camel who is struggling with camel behavior problems seeing this and thinking "hot damn, the solution to my camel misbehavior problems is CERTAINLY this dog exorcism potion"
We no longer really see 16 or 15 or 13 or what have you as actually being an adult but we have parties for these things anyways
When I was 14 I finished my confirmation classes and went through the confirmation ceremony. At that point I became a voting “adult” member of my church. Technically I could’ve run for church council.
Was I an adult though? Lol no I wasn’t about to run for council at 14 are you kidding me who’s practically gonna let a 14 year old in on a budget meeting
Amazing.
help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time
help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels

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aaaaa omg a coworker just came to my desk like "oh, you changed your name? me too, look!--" and pointed out her badge and then her ringless hand and gleefully announced, "divorce!!" and we exchanged congratulations and fist bumped djdnsnjs best interaction of my entire transition
STATUS: DIVORCED (POSITIVE)
she is a princess and you are a dragon. she will be married tonight. do not keep standing outside of her room like that, go inside. go get her. that is what proper dragons do.
not that you have ever been a good or proper dragon. when you hatched out of your egg, your eggtooth was too smooth. the other dragons were rough with you, put little holes in your wings.
you were not bold. you were odd. you liked rippling water and the shine of chitin when bugs scuttle and of course the movement of the stars. those were all acceptable interests albeit maybe not traditional. perhaps you had inherited these through some great-great-uncle or something. certainly a dragon may be wise, or clever, if they are not bold.
yes, you have been a great deal of a puzzle to the other dragons. your body is smaller and rather more soft than it ought to be. so speed should have been yours, perhaps - your mother said it would be like fighting a shadow. if a dragon is not aggressive, it may instead be cruel, sly; a backstab. but alas your scales - so iridescent that they almost shine like the moon at night, a glow from within - you are not a shadow, you are a beacon like the flash of a knight's blade. your father has said at least you would make a fine egglayer, a nice mate to a good male. a dragon like you may still be a good mother perhaps; and that is a fine thing to be; although of course it would have been better if you'd been a trove-hoarder instead.
what a dragon must not be is kind.
you have watched her now for six moons. what a good and proper dragon would do is to go inside and to snatch her. a very proper dragon would have kidnapped her many times over, but you will be the delight of your brood to princess-snatch even at all. when you catch her in your jaws and bring her home, they will love you, then. they don't think you're capable of it, but you are, because you're a proper dragon. you can show them that. if you go in, now, right now.
you are rather too glossy to hide in the shadows, so instead you have learned how to appear flat and round, a puddle of light. (how your siblings would mock you! a dragon should be matte, to blend with the night). you dapple your flank with mud. you perch in odd angles atop of trees, scuttle like the bugs you love - hither, tither, frantic.
what you must not do is fly with your wings full-out. alight, you will be limned by the moon's corona. you will be a beacon. you must remember this when (not if) you snatch her.
____
you found her because of the lake. this lake in particular was your favorite - nestled deep in the woods, between two mountains. it is very quiet; there is nothing to horde there so no other dragon bothers you. a gentle waterfall spills over into a deep cove, and there are many mossy caves you've spent your afternoons napping in. while it is not proper for a dragon to prefer such things, you like to lay in rolling tenure just under the water. you have become excellent at holding your breath, can do it for hours. it is the easiest way to appear as a patch of sunlight.
she was not sunlight. she was the night's joy. the dark press of water. her face at first concealed by many diaphanous layers. her breathing quick and quiet.
she had pulled them back to drink from her water flask. and there she had been: a princess. your first very-real princess. right there, only the reach of a single talon from you. if you had simply lunged then, you would have been able to take her easily, in one single movement.
but you did not take her.
Simon's stretch marks
Grace will never stop talking

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@fayeastria
the thing that doesnt often get talked about in working with kids is its not really a 9 to 5. every minute youre on the job it takes all the however many decades of life you have. maybe this is true in all jobs but the fact is that if a kid has a piss emergency or temper tantrum or a grandma die or an abusive relationship and they need help, like, Youre It. you are the adult in the room.
and in working with kids and talking to people who used to be kids, its like, sure kids soak up everything from around them. but its not equal either. everything you say sort offhandedly has sort of a dice roll on becoming a formative memory and pillar of their identity for years or a lifetime. so with my fucking luck any moment that i am petty or spiteful or shallow or cruel will be the moment that ends up sticking. so instead you have to just be reasonable and thoughtful and kind as best as you can, nonstop. its like that post abt how being a hero isnt like lifting cars overhead its like holding a small weight at arms length continuously 24/7
theres kind of just no substitute or alternative . you have to treat them with such extraordinary respect. well ok there is the alternative is to just be fine with occasionally destroying a kid, because you can. and parenting has its own set of challenges but in working in childcare, i basically have a handful of hours a week to be the absolute best person i can, and this is the only way to make a kid grow up healthy happy and not a nazi
Hello I haven't posted about Granblue on here in forever but everyone needs to see Wedding Megmari
LOVE FUCKING WINS BABEY

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TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”
via reddit.com
so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”
that’s…a pretty good analogy actually
US moron came to town
Hunting for some coochie
Wrote a G up on his belt
And this bitch called it Gucci
Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America
Rest in peace Akihiro Miwa (1935-2026)
I haven't seen anyone talking about this and just wanted to make a quick post on here.
Akihiro Miwa recently passed away peacefully june 20th, and was not only a drag queen and a queer icon, but also the japanese voice of Arceus in the movie Arceus and the jewel of life, as well as the witch from Howl's moving castle and Moro from Princess Mononoke.
Rest in peace and thank you for the wonderfull impact you made in this world.