ColonelGarfield (Goose)

*bug crawls past*

two meads in and i'm asking my knight if i can feel how sharp his blade is 🤦‍♂️ i'm giggling and kicking my feet too. should i ask him to press it against my neck or is that too forward

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

“Larper” being used like “poser” is so annoying bc actual LARPers are cool as hell. Get me some armour and a fake sword too

devil may happy :)

Wouldn’t it’ve made more sense to to say devil may smile?

critique my post ever again and devil may angry

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

I SAID HOLD STILL

let's all get into happy healthy long-lasting relationships with people that we are comfortable to be ourselves with

“You’re so quiet” thanks every time I’ve tried to enter this conversation you’ve just flat out fucking ignored me

benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start to receive marketing from the creepypasta universe