I spent all day doing sidequests instead of progressing the main story
I know you’re talking about a videogame but this is actually a really good metaphor for my life

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@collegeviolist
I spent all day doing sidequests instead of progressing the main story
I know you’re talking about a videogame but this is actually a really good metaphor for my life

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my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone. i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner
“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”
So, a while back, I was using clicker-training to teach my cat Taz tricks. She learned very quickly and it was a good experience all around, but we had to hide the clicker.
Taz had learned that the clicker meant she got treats. So she would find it, carry it up to people, step on it to make it click, and then SCREAM AT THEM to give her the treats she was clearly owed because the clicker had made a sound.
Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.
When you’re watching TV and your sibling gets out of the good chair to get a drink
sibling culture is willingly dehydrating yourself for hours to avoid giving up the seat you EARNED
Um… how the fuck is there a lure on an unreachable pokestop? Like, I’m watching this thing, and there are no boats near it. Why is there a stop even out there?
I mean, I have a kayak at home. I could go get it and paddle out there just to see what the deal is. Is it worth it?
I AM FUCKING DOING THIS.
I am literally sitting here in a kayak catching pokemon, and I still can’t figure out how someone got a lure on this pokestop. It’s just me out here, no other boats, like what the hell. People on the shore are staring at me. I can feel them judging me for actually paddling out to this pokestop. GOTTA CATCH EM ALL.
When I got back to the shore, a guy asked me if he could borrow my kayak to get the pokestop, and now I’m charging people $10 a pop to use it.
Pokemon is amazing this is like those moments when you would play the games and you gotta use “Surf” to see what item’s on the sandbar across the way
My first instinct was to dismiss this as a fabrication but then i remembered that summer 2016 was just like that
I miss summer 2016. It felt like an innocent fun time.

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“you’re an art model does that mean you’re NAKED?” “yeah” “whoa….those lucky artists ;)”
…buddy.
idk who started the idea that life drawing classes have anything sexy going on like. there’s at least ten people in the room and we’re all tired and covered in charcoal.
the dude in front who’s staring at my boobs has been trying to get the shading right for 10 minutes. he’s almost out of paint. he is crying.
#this ain’t some avant-garde titanic poly romance it’s a bunch of individual sinking ships and one uncaring human-shaped ice burg
The ice burg being frozen solid because there are NEVER ENOUGH SPACE HEATERS.
I was an artist’s model in uni since it paid better than any other student work position. Did a life drawing class one semester, despite it being an unheated old building in the winter evenings, because the instructor was a decent fellow who always had extra space heaters. So there I am one evening, exhausted from my team’s afternoon practice, but I’m in a comfortable position on a padded stool, ready to hold the position for like fifteen minutes. Space heaters all around me, spotlights on me to get shadows in interesting places.
Beyond the red glow of the heaters and the hot-white of the spotlights, the massive drafty room is dark and quiet, broken only by the instructor’s whispers and the scratch of charcoal on paper. Me, I’m just dozing, ‘cause my ancient dorm was heated with creaky old steampipes that never really got warm, and with the new extra-powered space heater alongside the others, that night was the warmest I’d been in a month. I dozed, basking in the glorious warmth.
And then I fell asleep.
And then I fell off the stool.
I woke up rather abruptly on the cold wooden platform, and looked up to see an entire ring of terrified and worried faces around me. Everyone had their hands up, ready to help me up, except no one had touched me. Naked chick laid out face-down on the floor, and all the men and women were suddenly acutely aware they couldn’t just grab a half-asleep dazed naked chick.
Fortunately someone had the bright idea to tear the sheet down from the backdrop, lay it over me as a wrap, and then everyone was quick to help me up.
After that, the instructor and students got used to taking turns talking to me, just to make sure I wasn’t dozing off. Which was weird, at first, because I’d done two semesters just being a silent prop, and now I was interacting. It gave the class a vibe completely unlike any other I’d modeled for, and it ended up one of my favorite modeling experiences.
postscript: months later, walking on campus with someone who’d eventually become my spouse, we passed some guys on the main path. One of them stopped, peered at me, and then said hello, excitedly, saying, “sorry, I didn’t recognize you, I’ve never seen you with your clothes on!”
This is honestly so delightful and accurate
The only situation where saying “I’ve never seen you with your clothes on” is a completely normal thing to say.
Yknow I used to think 3 guys falling in love with donna from mamma mia in one summer was far fetched…. but then I saw lily james as the young version of her and like…. I get it
this is a hate crime against meryl streep
harry, out in the forbidden forest: if voldemort isn’t here in 15 minutes i’m legally allowed to leave
why is my pencil talking
why is your cat full of star wars sound effects
Me: Alright, are you ready, Hattie?
Hattie: Meow
Me: *sings* ♪ If you’re happy and you know it, say “meow” ♪
Hattie: Mraaow
Me: ♪ If you’re happy and you know it, say “meow” ♪
Hattie: Mrah
Me: ♪ If you’re happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you’re happy and you know it, say “meow” ♪
Hattie: *rolls over* Mwraaah!
This is exactly the kind of A+ content I come to see on this website
WHAT A GOOD VIDEO

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Why I stand with Planned Parenthood
Multiple gynos refused me an IUD because “oh, it hurts so much to put in when you’ve had kids! We don’t want to put you in pain!!”
I was at a 7-9 on the pain scale regularly for my periods, and the docs were determined to make me run the gauntlet.
“But what about the pill?”
“Symptom-swap.”
“Have you thought about depo?”
“Mood drop.”
“And the patch?”
“Family history of breaking out in rashes.”
“Well, what about the nuva ring?”
“How will that NOT give me the same symptom-swap issues?”
“…”
“Look, I’m in pain so bad I wake up in the middle of the night. I’m in pain so bad I didn’t know I had appendecitis. I need SOMETHING.”
“Have you tried an ibuprofen protocol?”
“YES.”
“There are yoga poses that help with cramping.”
“I can’t uncurl from the ball of pain I’m in. How the hell am I supposed to hold position?”
“Well, how much caffeine do you drink? That could be a factor.”
“I have three cups of coffee a day and drink lots of water.”
And so on.
Then, one day, I made an appointment and went to Planned Parenthood.
“Yeah. Hi. I have incredibly painful periods that are fucking crippling me, and I need an IUD.”
“Okay. Do you have a chart of your periods I can look at?”
“Yup.”
“Okay. Looks like you have regular, heavy periods where the pain is worsening. Is that right?”
“Yup. And the fatigue. And the mood swings. And all of it.”
“Fatigue and mood swings, too?”
“Yup.”
“…is there any history of endometriosis in your family?”
“Yup. I’ve never been diagnosed, though. They say it takes a biopsy.”
“The biopsy can confirm tissue, but if you don’t have excess tissue, it doesn’t really help. You can have endo without excess tissue.”
“Okay. So, what are my options?”
“I suggest Mirena. Paraguard can make period symptoms worse even though it’s got no hormones while Mirena has a low-dose hormone that should help with all your pain and other issues. Here’s all the info on both of them. Here are models of both of them. Why don’t you take everything with you, read through it, then call if you have any questions? We can go ahead and schedule for insertion before you leave, and you can just call and say which type you want after you’ve read up. Is that okay?”
“…Yeah. That’s. That’s fine.”
“Do you have any questions right now?”
“Um, I got told a bunch I shouldn’t get an IUD because the insertion will hurt too much because I haven’t had kids.”
“Looking at the pain you’re usually in, I think you can handle it. It will definitely hurt, but it should only last about twenty seconds.”
“Twenty seconds?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve been refused the best option for dealing with my symptoms because of TWENTY SECONDS?!”
“Sadly, we hear that a lot.”
Planned Parenthood treated me like a PERSON who was in pain, not a walking uterus bitching and moaning about womanly things. Planned Parenthood showed me respect and kindness and respected the knowledge I brought of my own medical history to the conversation. Planned Parenthood respected my autonomy where other doctors rarely had and paid attention when I explained why I felt the IUD was the best choice. Planned Parenthood showed me I mattered, and I want to show how much they matter to me.
^ the difference between a person’s symptoms being diminished versus believed.
“am I sharp or flat?”
bold of you to assume I was listening
bold of you to assume i can tell the difference
what boys must think of me
is anyone else just going through life like “yeah i just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week
reblog if you think sign language should be taught as a language in schools.

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Someone asked my maths professor why numbers exist and she said “One day, for whatever reason, someone decided they wanted to count things and it’s been a major inconvenience for everybody ever since.”
This is channeling the spirit of Terry Pratchett
The string section, in sectionals, after hearing the faint sound of a disconnected mouth peace, quietly tooting in the room next door: Well it sounds like they’re being productive.