So now that I’ve finished my job at a movie theatre I thought I would pass along a list of what I think every movie worker wants to share.

1. Despite us saying otherwise, yes we do care when you dump soda in the trash cans.

2. If its not a comic book movie, double check with the staff if there is an after credits scene. We can’t clean a theatre until the place is empty and we HATE when you sit and talk with your group until we’ll after the credits.

3. Turn off your dang phone in the movie.

4. We probably haven’t seen what you’re seeing or what you just saw. We don’t watch everything that comes through.

5. Pick up your trash. If you can’t carry it all, don’t stuff it under the seat.

6. If you bring a spit cup in your theatre for chew…. THROW IT AWAY YOURSELF

7. Don’t clip your nails in the theatre. That’s nasty as hell.

8. Yes. The concessions are expensive. No. We don’t have control over it. Stop trying to hassle the staff about it, call corporate for pricing.

9. Be specific if you want a discount. Don’t assume we know you’re a senior or if your kids are under 13.

10. Most theatres require an adult to stay with their kid through a rated R film. Call beforehand to find out the policy for anyone under 17. ALSO BRING YOUR ID FOR AN R FILM. We were told to check anyone who looks under 25.

11. Yes we see you grabbing 50 napkins and yes we know it was you who left them behind without using one.

12. Don’t buy the pretzels… just don’t. They’re all frozen and thawed out in a steamer that only works half the time.

13. Yes the theatre is going to be busy every holiday.

PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY

People demand dog shampoos that smell “masculine” because “He’s a boy he doesn’t want to smell like flowers” even though he’s a dog and if he had his way he would smell like duck poop. And those shampoos exist! That’s the worst part! There’s enough demand for dog shampoo that smells like Axe body spray that they exist and they sell well.