Only Gayz

After saying goodbye to that girl, he and Caleb fell into an unspoken silence while sitting on the Coelum Express back to Skyhaven. It's as if their previous friendliness and laughter in front of her had been an act of reassurance. Caleb still looked the same, yet he somehow felt like a stranger to Gideon.

I think this passage here explains everything about their relationship. It's almost as if their entire coexistence was solely hinged on the idea that Caleb could live a normal life. We know that the possibility of that is next to nothing and when Caleb officially returns from his year long absence being essentially tortured in a lab again and becoming Colonel of the fleet, he comes to accept that normalcy was never something he could achieve.

There is no reason to stay connected with people, to pretend to see the value in friendships, or to maintain the persona of the "golden boy". These originally helped Caleb seize the ability to be normal, to protect his family but now, as the Colonel, he has garnered far more power than he could as a top student of the DAA. He knows far more than he did before, he is fighting things that are far more dangerous than the decay of his family's image or their financial ruin.

Yet, despite his coldness to Gideon behind closed doors, he still acts like he cares in front of his sister. It's "reassurance" according to Gideon's personal interpretation. But reassurance for who? For MC? Replaying Painful Signal, it seems MC cares a great deal for Caleb and his death. Having grieved him, she understands the perspective of those at the DAA who continue to grieve for him. It's important to her that they carry out the natural proceedings of grief, meanwhile Caleb requests his locker be cleared out as to not upset anyone.

It is maybe because of the way MC wishes to protect the rituals of mourning that Caleb believes she has a great care for people—not just him. I wonder then, if he is so amiable with Gideon to seem "human"? He has, at this point, lost his agency and humanity and to pretend that his connections to humanity (Gideon) have never been cut gives him a power that only ever belonged to the him of the past: to be perceived as "normal".

That if he was like Gideon, someone who was never fated to be anything, he could choose to be everything in service to his sister. Caleb loves mentioning fate and his distaste for it. He wishes to change it, maybe even destroy it. Gideon is what Caleb could be if he just wasn't Caleb.

They used to joke about the future. And they imagined that if they both ended up as instructors at the Deepspace Aviation Administration, heading toward the same destination, they'd compete to see whose students could fly better and faster.

Caleb is to MC what Gideon is to Caleb. Something of the past, the hope of a future that has been completely destroyed.

Yeah, I've made peace with it.

Gideon says this to Patrick after finding out Caleb is, in fact, still alive. "...peace with it", he says like he has accepted Caleb's death despite just discovering he is not. The future with the Caleb he knew has died. Now, Caleb is truly alone. Unable to rely on the help of Gideon or his friends, his old life has completely dissolved and they have made their peace and moved on in their own way.

Caleb wishes to erase his existence from their lives as to not hinder them, what he fails to realize is they continue to visit his grave and keep his belongings in his locker because this is all they have of him. This is how they remember he is dead. It does not stop them from moving on, it is the reason why they can.

There are two lives: one Caleb occupies, and one where he does not. His absence gave way to a new life, and Gideon intends to live in that one.

We see Gideon again in Indulgent Scheme. He has to move his camera away from Caleb when Patrick calls and MC is visibly uncomfortable realizing his old life is creeping in. These worlds, these lives, are not meant to merge. Caleb knows that, it's why he was so adamant about disappearing. He knows that returning to his sister's life is incredibly risky, but he gives in after she sought him out.

Why then does Gideon invite Caleb and MC to gatherings? Why is he the exception to everybody else? How does Gideon feel about Caleb? Does he treat his old college friend as some kind of moving corpse?

Gideon refers to Caleb as a ghost the first time he sees him again in Painful Signal. I wonder how bizarre it feels to accept your friend has officially passed and has become something unrecognizable, and yet, continue to extend your hand out to them.

They pass each other and go their separate ways.

What do they mean to each other? Gideon, a tool to Caleb to seem human to his sister. Caleb, a ripple of the past that Gideon can't seem to fully get rid of. There's something profoundly romantic about it; their inability to shake off each other's presence, to still want each other while knowing their incredible distance.