disasterpiece™

cop: great we have a motive, but we still need a description

hey if you’re a man i’m gonna need you to never approach a woman who’s alone at night time. don’t care what your intention is– unless it’s an emergency, don’t. you probably have no idea what the jolt of cold terror and/or the gnawing dread feels like in these situations. thanks

it really is just Guillermo del Toro and his determination to keep practical effects alive against the world huh

When lemony snicket said “i will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. i will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. i will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time. i will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. i will love you if you don’t marry me. i will love you if you marry someone else, and i will love you if you have a child, and i will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and i will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights i prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios i have mentioned. that, beatrice, is how i will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way”

being known is a mortifying ordeal not only bc it involves allowing someone to see the worst of you and hoping they will love you anyway but also bc it involves letting them see the best of you and hoping it actually means something to them

This is so funny? Why does it only have 500 notes I’m screaming I feel this Italian in my soul