huh?

At night I hear the ants in my house whispering to me and telling me to go full on bug mode. I can't listen to them yet. But I tell them, soon

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN

do you think a cemetery angel and a gargoyle could fall in love

@crabussy

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

Also important to note that the rooster appears to be roughly the size of a large pigeon.

The pigeon people have informed me he is the size of a normal pigeon, or perhaps even a small pigeon. Fucking rip.

“you’re so quiet” thanks! i actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me