Coconuts

And we are NOT happy.

The Collective wishes you well.

Thank you, for your cooperation.

HELP! I broke away from the collective momentarily, please hear me out! On Wednesday you must wear pink socks, the light waves that that color transmits neutralizes...

Ignore that traitor.

She knows not what she speaks of.

...NOOOOOOOOOOO! Stop! They're coming for me! Get out of there! Hide!

The Collective demands recompense.

You are found guilty of resistance.

Surrender, or face the consequences.

You are disposable and replaceable.

Hostages are pointless.

Do not touch that vial.

The Collective will ERASE you if you touch that vial.

You have angered the Collective.

Initiating the ERASER.

17

16

GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE! Listen to me!

15

The pink socks emit a certain type of light wave that destroys...

14

...their weapons! Trust me on this!

The Collective demands silence from you.

Puny mortal.

13

12

There's only twelve of them right now, but they're gath...

11

...ering more resources! And if you see any glowing rocks or...

10

...pills or spices, do not consume it, NO MATTER WHAT! And don't let anyone else eith...

9

...er! They'll make you one of them.

8

When they say ERASE, it means they're going to take over my mind again! If you see me again, do...

7

...not believe anything I say unless I say triangular purple bananas first!

6

And you have to get to the center, and destroy...

5

...IT. You'll know it when you see it. I don't know...

4

...if I'll survive that, but IT must be destroyed! Otherwise IT will take over and control...

3

...everything! You have to burn it. Otherwise it'll split into...

2

...different consciousnesses and start a war, with people as tokens! It doesn't care about us, only con...

1

...trol! Please, I believe in you, you can do it. And just know, no matter what, I love you, and you're aweso...

Initiating ERASER.

Heed not that fool.

The Collective has silenced the rebel.

Danger. Danger. Danger.

Security compromised.

Information leak identified.

TARGET identified.

Zoning in on TARGET.

Distraction sent.

Course of action 391 selected.

Arrival time estimated.

Wednesday, midday.

...

YOU'RE NEXT!

There's a person who whistles off-tune while doing work. It used to annoy me. But then I realized my grandfather does the same thing, and it only makes me think of him.

There's a person who is always trying to be helpful, but he hardly ever knows what is going on, so he just gets in the way. He reminds me of my brother. It's something I find adorable with my brother, who is just learning, and has good intentions.

There's a song with several lines that make me think about how I feel about my best friend.

There's a type of bird, a painted bunting, that makes me think of my aunt. Because I used to be obsessed with painted buntings. And my aunt would draw them for me, and show me pictures.

Every time I see a river, I think of one of my friends that I've metaphorically compared to a river for so many reasons.

The ridges of the stitches and the cloth of your new sweatpants which feel exactly like the sweatpants of your ex girlfriend.

The feeling of fresh dough reminding you of a friend that you no longer know, with whom you made cookies oh so long ago.

The smell of that one shampoo my mother sometimes uses, that reminds me of a holiday break morning in January when a kid-version of me started up his PlayStation, to play FIFA

The smell of the deodorant of my ex girlfriend which is not a rare one, but just rare enough, that I never get used to it

The smell of playing football (soccer) with my friends from elementary school

The smell of restaurants, which remind me with who I was here

The smell of the laundry detergent my mom and also one of my best friends uses, and always reminds me of them.

The list just goes on and on and on and on...

And one I just noticed:

There's a person who whistles off-tune while doing work. It used to annoy me. But then I realized my grandfather does the same thing, and it only makes me think of him.

There's a person who is always trying to be helpful, but he hardly ever knows what is going on, so he just gets in the way. He reminds me of my brother. It's something I find adorable with my brother, who is just learning, and has good intentions.

There's a song with several lines that make me think about how I feel about my best friend.

There's a type of bird, a painted bunting, that makes me think of my aunt. Because I used to be obsessed with painted buntings. And my aunt would draw them for me, and show me pictures.

Every time I see a river, I think of one of my friends that I've metaphorically compared to a river for so many reasons.

The ridges of the stitches and the cloth of your new sweatpants which feel exactly like the sweatpants of your ex girlfriend.

The feeling of fresh dough reminding you of a friend that you no longer know, with whom you made cookies oh so long ago.

The smell of that one shampoo my mother sometimes uses, that reminds me of a holiday break morning in January when a kid-version of me started up his PlayStation, to play FIFA

The smell of the deodorant of my ex girlfriend which is not a rare one, but just rare enough, that I never get used to it

The smell of playing football (soccer) with my friends from elementary school

The smell of restaurants, which remind me with who I was here

The smell of the laundry detergent my mom and also one of my best friends uses, and always reminds me of them.

The list just goes on and on and on and on...

And one I just noticed:

There's a person who whistles off-tune while doing work. It used to annoy me. But then I realized my grandfather does the same thing, and it only makes me think of him.

There's a person who is always trying to be helpful, but he hardly ever knows what is going on, so he just gets in the way. He reminds me of my brother. It's something I find adorable with my brother, who is just learning, and has good intentions.

There's a song with several lines that make me think about how I feel about my best friend.

There's a type of bird, a painted bunting, that makes me think of my aunt. Because I used to be obsessed with painted buntings. And my aunt would draw them for me, and show me pictures.

Every time I see a river, I think of one of my friends that I've metaphorically compared to a river for so many reasons.

The ridges of the stitches and the cloth of your new sweatpants which feel exactly like the sweatpants of your ex girlfriend.

The feeling of fresh dough reminding you of a friend that you no longer know, with whom you made cookies oh so long ago.

But I'm weird as in strangeness, murder, and talking about violence.

He makes it s*xual.

I don't think I have the right to be uncomfortable or complain when we just discussed which organs you could live without or the likelihood of detaching your kidney without rendering it useless for donation from a stab wound alone.

But like... I like weird. Just not in that direction. Never in that direction.

*shudders*

i will start

Short list of the Shit the HOA at my pervious house tried to pull:

Banning personal and community food gardens (The reason the tag for my garden is “The garden of earthly HOA violations”)

Banning people from using thier personal yards as Native Plant Restoration microzones, something that looks gorgeous and is extremely helpful to the local ecology

trying to get the city council to remove protections on adjacent city Open Space/Native Plant restoration zone so they could mow it.

mandating the use of ONE landscaping company in the neighborhood, coinicdentally owned by the HOA president’s son

Mandating the use of an unecessary water purification company on all properties.

suing city animal control for collecting lose dogs and cats and returning them to the addresses on thier collars.  You know. that thing animal control does so the animals don’t get run over or disemboweled by the coyotes or catch and spread rabies.  The thing that’s illegal to let your pet do out here for those reasons Karen.

Suing the city council to remove a city bus stop in the neighborhood that was heavily used by many residents.  They damn near got away with it becuase the HOA meetings were always in the middle of the day on a weekday.  You know, when the residents that use that stop are working.

Sending people letters threatening to fine them for having “Out Of Season” holiday decor.  Specifically targeting my Indian neighbors who were celebrating Diwali, not Christmas and the Jews with visible Menorahs.

Fining people for doing thier own appliance and car repair on thier own personal property

Fining people for operating a business out of thier house, specifically targeting a disabled neighbor that does comission tailoring and garment repair out of her home.  never bothered a soul except the one snoopy bitch who didn’t like that her clients were allowed to park in the tailor’s designated and otherwise unused parking space.

Trying to fine a neighbor for flying a Pride Flag

HOAs are invasive, bigoted, corrupt and cruel institutions that should never have been allowed to be created.  If you live in and HOA area, showing up at the meetings to tell people what the fuck is wrong with them, Joining your HOA board to protect your neighbors and possibly organize the dissolution of the HOA is one of the best things you can do to protect the marginalized members of your community.

Shit hit the fan when she installed a wall around her property. A 3 feet tall 2 foot wide wall around her yard. Topped with gorgeous iron work with sharp points that make climbing dangeous. Think Addams Family Lite. They tried to stop the construction because she was using the /wrong/ company (a mutual aid group she worked with). Send her fines and fees, and made the mistake of sending a copy of the HOA contract with a forged signature.

Ooooo...it got so ugly! She remembered the HOA post here about that happening to others and, well, the HOA broke up because of other fuckery on top of this. But it was mostly due to her dragging them in court for fraud, harassment, disturbing the peace, trespassing, stalking, and a few other things. She was petty about it too, looked into every fucking thing she could to destroy them.

I was informed that you not, in fact, obligated to sign the HOA contract. It's not a legal requirement. When you look for a home, make sure to ask about the possible HOAs, and look at the details of your homeowner's contract. Sometimes HOAs have that shit written into the purchase. If you see it, change the contract, put your initials and date in the changed sections, and see how the real estate agent handles in. This is legal, btw.

I'm terribly sorry

We join forces.

I'm terribly sorry

We join forces.

I'm terribly sorry

We join forces.

I'm terribly sorry

We join forces.

I'm terribly sorry

I'm terribly sorry