Hannah

we give buzzfeed a lot of rightful criticism now that it’s not 2014 but that kristin chirico piece where she photographed herself in various different clothes shop fitting rooms to prove that the lighting in them is precision engineered to give you body dysmorphia still regularly salvages me from the verge of anorexic crisis ten years after its publication

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

rewatching Mamma Mia! and just. it’s so perfect in it’s imperfection. people are sweating and their hair is messy and the makeup is minimal and the older people have wrinkles and also look hot and the costuming is chaotic and perfect and the actors were a little tipsy and they mess up lines and aren’t always perfectly on pitch and some of them are clearly not singers or dancers but they look like they’re having so much fun and I really believe that they’re on a greek island that’s the site of Aphrodite’s fountain and god it’s just a perfect movie.

i could be your pet rock. id be very good at it

ive had some time to think and honestly i dont think id be a very good pet rock. i dont know what i was thinking. theres too much anger in me

keep thinking about how I wrote in my dissertation about how every time a new form of public/social space emerges it's immediately popular with kids and teenagers who see it as a chance at freedom and then adults colonise it and kick them out. this happened with malls in the 80s and diners in the 50s and pool halls in the 20s. my dad was doing research on this trend in like 1975. and I was like "yeah so this is going to happen to the internet" and then five years later every government suddenly decided to ban kids from everywhere online. I hate being right especially when I don't even get paid for it

having institutional access never stops feeling sort of crazy to me because you can literally type in any country and time period and find at least a handful of peer reviewed articles somewhere that discuss a specific aspect of people's lives in depth and at length like "what was considered pop culture in late imperial russia" or "how did the textile trade work in northern mali in the 1600s" or "children's toys in pre-colonial philippines" and it's just sitting there but the majority of people on planet earth aren't allowed to read any of it

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

That it's no longer on poob?

This is incomprehensible outside of tumblr, i love a well maintained closed ecosystem

the quick brown fox lowkey mogs the lazy dog

The quick brown fox just low-key vibe mogged the lazy chopped dog

The quickpilled brown fox vibemogs lazy chud dogcel by jumpmaxxing