The kids are aight

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The kids are aight

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I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it
I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally
Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere
Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh
They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them
Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it
Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it
group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.
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Harvest mice foraging & nesting in poppy seed heads
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i think "turning into a pumpkin" is my new favorite way to articulate the state of things when I am at a function and very overstimulated and it feels like my brain is melting. it's like no i can't be a person anymore i have to leave i'm turning into the pumpkin. the time is up yeah i gotta go. yeah see u later. pumpkin time.
My family does this but because I am a classics nerd we call it apocolocyntosis
As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??
Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance
now all my Youtube recommendations are filled with Miss Piggy interviews. Iām not complaining. Miss Piggy whatās your secret to ageing so graciously
It's not just the audience; professional journalists, hosts, and actors report it is legitimately difficult to not see the Muppet as a person, and it is, in fact, incredibly easy to interview or act with them once the performer gets properly set up.
Like that one time they couldn't figure out why Kermit's audio was so garbage... then realized they'd put the mic on him instead of the performer.
this has been a very longstanding issue - before the muppet show was even a thing some muppets appeared in commercials, such as rolf the dog they had a continual problem where when people directing/shooting the dogfood commercial would give dirrection to rolf that they would be speaking to the muppet, to which rolf REPEATEDLY had to tell them āi cant hear you, you have to talk to himā and point at the performer underneath him rolf is one of the most embarrassing muppets to need this direction as the performer is this, damn, obvious when not on camera
āsir, i am a bathroom mat, the man you need to talk to is back thereā
I did an interview with Gonzo one time, and when I got into the Zoom call, it was the actor on screen trying to figure out his audio. And then once he did, he went likeĀ āOKAY!ā and then just like dove to the floor and it was Gonzo and there was never a moment when I doubted that the dude was just Gonzoās tech guyĀ
I have met a muppet-like puppet in real life and when I tell you that my brain was hacked FUCKING INSTANTLY..... It was a person, I swear it was a person. I asked it for a hug (no i was not 5 years old, i was like 28 at this time). i genuinely don't know what came over me, it was just. It was a person???? Witchcraft
A couple years ago, I was invited to the birthday party of one of my former preschool students. I decided to bring my teaching puppet (a big rat) along because I knew several other kids from that class would be there, and she was always a huge hit with them.
They were, of course, very excited to see her. But what surprised me was that after the kids ran off to play in the sprinkler, the parents around me struck up conversation with the puppet. They continued for at least fifteen minutes, asking her questions like, "how long have you been teaching?" and "eaten out of any good dumpsters lately?" until one dad exclaimed "why have I been talking to a rat puppet this whole time!"
Cicada, Stages of Conventionalization
Hugo Froelich, Keramic Studio Magazine, 1905
Fruits are for breakfast; refrigerate some of them. They'll be delicious for mornings to come.
Though I should let you know (exculpatorily) you won't be having them- I ate your plum.

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Pedestrian traffic lights
AMPELMANN FEHLT
California quail we're unforgettable,
Black head with big feather on top
whatās your favorite ship?
titanic
hms terror
uss enterprise
ever given (the container ship that blocked the suez canal in 2021)
captain ahabās whaling vessel
ship of theseus
battleship monopoly token
mclennon
This is Mary Ellen Carter erasure
Tag! You're It! - My 2nd year film :D
[Video showed a animated film titled, "Tag! You're It!"
Video stars Sunny, a black haired girl in a dress who is based on "Woodblock Print No 1. Hanako" c. 1920. by Takehisa Yumeji (1884 - 1934) & Pippin, a girl with brown braids, wearing a tank top and loose capris, who is based on the illustrations of Marguerite Davis (1881 - 1972).
An instrumental version of "Sing. Sing. Sing", a swing song performed by Benny Goodman and his Orchestra in 1937, plays throughout the piece.
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Video starts with a night watchman walking through an art museum with his flashlight. The light shines on a mosaic displaying the title. As the watchman passes, we zoom in on a small painting of a girl beside a pair of large flowers.
This is Sunny. She looks below her feet, smiles, and leaps out of her painting onto the bed of a girl in an illustration below her. The girl, Pippin, sits up and grins at Sunny. They get up and hug, and then Sunny braces herself, tags Pippin, and races out of the painting. The text "Tag, you're it!" surrounds Pippin as she prepares to launch herself after her friend.
They run through various types of art, occasionally tagging each other and switching who is It. They're obviously having a lot of fun.
Their design shifts to match each piece they move through, and the text "Tag!" appears in the native language/script of the piece's artist. We zoom out to see a staircase with painting covering the walls, the tiny girls visible briefly in the various pieces as the race from illustration to painting to line art.
The art gets older as they travel, until they're causing Greek amphorae to rock as they spin around them, and running past Ancient Egyptian figures. Finally, they fall out of the wall onto a cave floor.
Sunny checks to make sure Pippin is okay. They reassure each other, and then clasp each other's hands, wandering out onto a cliff edge. Around them, giant cave paintings of animals race past them as they watch in awe. Pippin turns to Sunny with a sly grin, then slowly lowers herself to the ground. Sunny follows her, and they sit together, watching history pass.
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Final credits state that it was directed and animated by Clea Lim Taylor.
More credits under cut:
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just had the coolest video game dream yall. i want 2 play this game
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SETTING: a huge, sprawling university. seemingly endless, full of bizarre science labs, lush biodomes, giant faculty offices, study halls, libraries, parks, quads, cafeterias, endless hallways, secret tunnels, abandoned areas, dark woods, locked doors... cartoony psychonauts-esque look. kinda wacky, odd angles, people are all sorts of shapes & sizes
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YOU: the janitor!!! in my dream u wore a skeleton onesie & a gas mask lol. by night you do your janitorial assignments & respond to requests/take care of disasters. by day: search for your MISSING BROTHER!! you know hes somewhere on campus & u know someone knows something.......
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you live in the janitor closet that is also a bigger-on-the-inside POCKET DIMENSION!! so ur bed & janitor stuff is there, but also everything u put in your pockets, no matter how big. u could put a bus in there, nobodys stopping you
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(also your roommate is a vampire who attends night school. they are 500 years old & know everything about the schools history. theyre also addicted to MMOs)
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audit classes & ace exams for information! attend office hours & help out professors for intel! chat up one of the many office ladies for gossip! attend poetry night for the vibe! catch those pigs the frat boys set loose, put them in ur pocket & give them names! theyre your pigs now! go for a swim to fix the pipes in the flooded basement! find out why that one TA keeps giving u the stink eye! sign up for research trials to gain new abilities! watch the sunset with the gargoyles! find hidden key cards to access new areas! catch the campus peeping tom! game with ur vampire roommate on their 4k tv! do a ride-along with campus security! volunteer for peer counseling to remediate student conflicts! investigate the rumors about the haunted abandoned dorm building!
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& then find ur missing brother i guess
idk it was a really fun dream. i remember one lab professor was obsessed with chrome & was running experiments to prove that a chrome coating made things go faster, so he was painting animals/students/go-karts in chrome & making them race. BUT i couldnt access the lab without several steps of favors/intel/searching
the research trials would give u abilities like jumping higher/brief invisibility/temporary wall climbing/ventriloquism. your skeleton onesie/gas mask getup doesnt really stand out bc everyone is weird & cool & fun
so uh who wants to make this game with me
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this was submitted as a one sentence horror story, but it feels like it could be an old jewish joke, like the one about the two rabbis proving g-d doesn't exist or the saying 'people plan, g-d laughs'
This is a thousand times better as a dry Jewish joke than it is as a fake-deep edgelord āhorrorā story
Even more, it sounds like the beginning -- the set-up -- of the joke. Canāt you hear Carl Reiner opening a bit with this line, or Shalom Aleichem using it to kick off a story?
Well I'm not quite an old Jewish man just yet, but let me give it a shot...
Losing confidence in Himself, G-d became an atheist. He decided to go down to Earth, to walk among humans and see how they found meaning.
He wandered the world until he came to a town, where he happened upon a pastor. "Come to our church this Sunday!" said the pastor. But G-d shook his head. "I don't believe in G-d anymore," he told the pastor sullenly. "And besides, I really shouldn't be working weekends." . . .
Headcanon that Luke and Obi Wan got the money to pay Han Solo by selling the moisture farm at bargain-basement prices in Anchorhead without telling anyone that it was totally torched, and by the time anyone find out they were well off planet. Luke now has a reputation as one of Tattooineās most famous con men despite the fact that it was Obi Wan who ran the con.
#I donāt know if you meant it this way but I totally interpreted this as them selling the farm multiple times to different people#luke: *wrestling over selling the wreck of the farm to someone he knows is a complete scumbag*#obi-wan: hello are you interested in buying a farm#complete scumbucket: *interested noises*#luke: Ā wait didnāt we already-? *gets zapped by R2* ow!#luke: oh#luke: ohhhh#luke: >:)
i havenāt cared about star wars ācanonā since i was 3 years old- I LOVE the idea that the reason Luke had to dramatically speeder in and out of Jabbaās without hitting up any of his local connections is he is like, wanted by a bunch of scum inĀ Mos Eisley. Can you- can you imagineĀ Vader or whoever doing a recon in town onĀ āthe last son of the Jedi who blew up the death star.ā His closeĀ friends and family have all a) died b) moved off planet or c) both.Ā
So the only reputation he has is āthat bastard con artist who banked 19 years of aw-shucks-wormie-ness and used it to outrageously fleece everyoneĀ whoās almost anybody.ā Vader reading the report likeā¦damn you Kenobi did you get HONDO to raise my son??
Jabbaās reaction to Lukeās message is INFINITELY funnier if we consider the idea thatĀ āSkywalkerā amongst the wretched local villainy (who mostly ignore imperial and rebel propaganda) is actually synonymous with TWO things - that brat who totally messed up the podrace bookies 25 years ago, and the infamous Anchorhead Con. Jabba gets this message aboutĀ āJediā and is like LOL i think the other Skywalker tried to pull some hotshit with that too before wimping out.
Everyone openly laughs like sureĀ youāre a Jedi and Iāve got a bargain vaporator farm I want to sell you.Ā
AND THEN HE WRECKS THE JOINT WITH A DEBT-RIDDEN HALF-BLIND SMUGGLER A RANDOM SLAVE GIRL ONE GUARD AND TWO BEAT UP DROIDS WHAAAT
Iām imagining some random palace guard telling Vader this, afterwards.
āSo this fuckingāSKYWALKER, dude, have you ever heard the name Skywalker? You know what it means? A FUCKING ASSHOLE, thatās what it means. Like. The first one was bad enough, this little shit named Anakin who was fuckinā NINE YEARS OLD and he just WON THE FUCKING BOONTA EVE PODRACE and set SIXTEEN bookies out of business and if I ever meet him Iām gonna set him on fire for itā
āAnd then this new one, Luke? Fuckinā nobody, raised by his aunt and uncle out in the Wastes, little aw-shucks hick farm kid, the kind you could give him a five-credit piece and a ten-credit piece and he keeps taking the fiver because itās BIGGER, that kind of simple, and then he comes into Mos Eisley one afternoon and sells his aunt and uncleās moisture farm, right, Iāve been out there a few times, several of us have, and itās a nice place as far as moisture farms go, mildly profitable, and the kid is fucking happy to get like two-thirds its value, so he sells the farm, right? TO NINETEEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE! Do you have any idea how much Jabbaās finance people had to do to get that sorted out? Nineteen fucking mortgages on ONE fucking property, puts every real estate con Jabba the Huttās entire CLAN ever pulled and we were on the WRONG SIDE OF IT! We had every pirate and smuggler from here to Corellia laughing at us! And THEN! And THENā!
āSo he pops up via hologram message acting like a DIPLOMAT from the REPUBLIC, claiming a title and rank from an extinct, defunct, ILLEGAL order and wanting to bargain with Jabbaāare you fucking kidding me, BARGAIN WITH JABBA for a smuggler whoās up to his ass in debt when heās responsible for that farm scheme, acting like he doesnāt even fucking REMEMBER it and expects that Jabbaās forgotten it too. Like. Absolute fucking idiot, and anticipating that Jabbaās just as stupid. And he offers a pair of droids as a gift. Like, built-in-the-Republic-era, random-ass droids that he probably picked up from the Jawas that morning for a few hundred credits and a junkedĀ āvaporator.
āI mean, Jabbaās seething here, but hey, free droids is free droids. Whatever. He takes the droids, throws things, orders a fight to the death between two gamblers who owed him money, killed one of his dancers at some point ⦠and then Boushh shows up with fucking Chewbacca in chainsāheās Soloās first mate, so Jabba was all happy about that, but not happy enough to pay the full bountyāand whatās Boushh do? Pull some gonads out from somewhere after all these years, and also pull out a fucking THERMAL DETONATOR! Going to blow us all to fuck if he doesnāt get his measley fifty thousand, and, well, thereās no arguing with crazy like that.Ā
āSo now, if youāre keeping score, Jabbaās lost an absolute SHITLOAD of money and had his bookmaking industry fucked all to hell for like three years after the stunt from Skywalker the First, got screwed out of ANOTHER shitload of money in the farm scam by Skywalker the Sequel, got all but called an idiot to his face and insulted six times over by the same dude whoās apparently scammed so many people heās forgotten who he has and hasnāt scammed, and got threatened out of fifty thousand credits by a second-tier bounty hunter IN FRONT OF HIS ENTIRE COURT.
āAnd then the next morning, what the fuck? Jabbaās favorite sculpture is gone, the one with Solo as its main ingredient that Boba Fett brought him. And Boushh is gone. And Jabbaās got a brand-new dancer chained up next to him. Night duty guy tells me Boushh unfroze Solo, and the new dancer girl IS Boushh, which, okay, youāre dealing with people like that and you look like that? You definitely need a helmet, but I feel like pretending she didnāt breathe oxygen was overkill. Anyway, then Skywalker shows up. All alone, no weapons, nothing, like he really believes in this Jedi shit. Arrogant little bastard, and weāre all laying bets on how Jabbaās going to kill him.
āSo he talks a little, and fwoop! goes the trapdoor, and okay, everybody who bet onĀ āRancorā is doing a little happy dance, but then! BUT THEN! He fucking KILLS THE RANCOR! Drops its own cage door on its head and punches right through its skull! Andāfucking NOBODY bet on that, which is a damn shame because everybody else wouldāve just torn the winner apart out of sheer rage at that point and we coulda used some good bloodshed then, yāknow? I mean, I dunno if youāve ever met Jabba the Hutt, but heās the kind of boss thatāll just go off and kill you for failing him or just because heās angry at something. Just complete fucking asshole. I mean, he was pissed enough that everybody was worried for their safety, and so somebody dying messily right then wouldāve calmed him down a bit.
āSo Jabbaās big mad, and he gathers Skywalker and Solo and Chewbacca all together and says heās gonna feed them to the Sarlacc, which is a nasty tentacled carnivorous plant out in the desert, so we all board the sail barge and have a nice little pleasure cruiseāhave you ever been to Tattoine? Iām fuckinā kidding, itās brutal. But hey, we get to see Skywalker executed, right? Wrong.
āJabba offers them the chance to beg for their lives, and Solo calls him a slimy piece of worm-ridden filth, which, I mean, I could do better, yāknow? If Iām about to die? Anyway, Skywalker goes up first, gets prodded to the edge, flips a salute off to who-knows-where, and does this little twist in midair, catches the fucking plank, and fucking SPRINGBOARDS himself back onboard, CATCHES HIS LIGHTSABER FROM MIDAIR where the one DROID shot it to him, and starts sending guards over the side, usually in pieces.
āSo more guards rush forward to help, and thereās this huge fight, and fuckinā BOBA FETT falls in, and while thatās going on? The fucking dancing girl has grabbed her chain and is FUCKING STRANGLING JABBA WITH IT! Like, I look over and heās bucking and struggling and sheās pulling on that chain like anything, and then somebody hits me over the head with a bottle of Corellian brandy, and by the time I look again heās pitched over dead! And nobody freaking bet on that!
āAnd then? Off they fucking go, Skywalker and Solo and Chewbacca and the dancing girl and the droids and one of the guards who I played sabacc with the other night and he owes me twenty credits! And that fucking Skywalker just cost me my job, and if I see him again Iām going to burn him to cinders myself!ā
The man subsides, eyeing the gigantic ebony figure in front of him who, except for a couple of momentary starts as though he might say something, has been silently listening to him all this time.
Size-wise, Darth Vader has nothing on Jabba the Hutt, but somehow, he is scarier.
Finally, the dark form speaks.Ā āYou said you could do better.ā A momentās silence, and he clarifies.Ā āIf you were about to die.ā He gets the impression that whatever monster lurks behind the helmet is smiling.Ā āYou are about to die now. Because you are a criminal, and because of what you have said about my son, Luke Skywalker. You have an opportunity to do better. Use it.ā
The so-condemned criminal, late of Jabbaās palace guard, lets his jaw hang open unflatteringly for a moment while his brain catches up with events. HIS SON, which means ā¦Ā Ā
āYOUāRE Anakin Skywalkerās HUSBAND?ā
The steady, hissing rhythm of Darth Vaderās rebreather actually stops dead as the Dark Lord straightens up as if stabbed with an electroprod.
In the instant before the manās brains, blood, and spinal fluid coat the far wall, he has the momentary satisfaction of having, indeed, done much better than Solo.
i feel like i boarded a ride thinking it was one of those āboat slowly past the animatronic charactersā deals but it was actually space mountain
Reblogging this gem because it is unfeasibly funny and deserves to do the rounds again