This Shit Still Slaps

If you didn’t want to be assimilated into into my found family then you should have killed me when you had the chance

the way percy just straight up tells annabeth where his most vulnerable spot is bc she’s the benchmark for people he loves and trusts in his life… scream

Percy wearing booty shorts that say “Savior of Olympus” on the ass

chamber of secrets au where fred and george steal ginny’s diary bc “haha ginny why are you keeping a diary omg its old and blank” and they just start drawing dicks in it and then the dicks fade off the paper and fred and george just look at each other and go “omg infinite dicks” so they draw dicks on it all year until the diary literally ink vomits itself to death bc tom riddle cant handle the dicks anymore and no one ever opened the chamber of secrets and fred and george destroyed the very first horcrux the end

This is my legacy

#dicksoutfortomriddle

in 124,000 notes no one has added a caption so completely wonderful and succint and beautiful and goddamn perfect ive been laughing for 15 years thank you

diary: stolen pages: self-erasing dicks: out

TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE IS FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE HORCRUX

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

Yes. Good.

he goes to events and the Harpies PR people keep giving him name tags that say “Harry Weasley” and at first it’s a running gag but then its just a thing