This is a blog.

I’m OBSESSED with how GameFreak accidentally made the most autistic character ever with Red when they were just trying to make him represent as broad a player base of the original games as possible. He’s canonically semi-verbal, and the number of times he actually speaks can be counted on one hand. He’s absurdly skilled at one topic he has an interest in, being a prodigy outranking almost everyone at fourteen. He immediately ran away from what was essentially a public facing job relating to it and hid away from people completely for several years to the point his own mother had no clue how he was. He rarely emotes and only people close to him seem to understand how he’s feeling. He’s almost always depicted as fiddling with the brim of his hat compulsively. He is seen as cool and badass BECAUSE of these traits. Fucking excellent. I love it. Best character ever. GameFreak should bring him back in every game. 

damn your pussy fat and long and hard and outside

I habe some bad news

BOTH TOWERS?

LOL so the other day I was scampering about squeaking and looking for cheese and such when I saw the farmer out in the field and, get this, he was trying to pull a turnip out of the ground, but the turnip was like really big, right, so he couldn’t do it 😅 like he was really struggling. Weak fuckinh farmer. So he calls over his wife and she holds onto his waist and starts pulling too but the turnip is still stuck. So she calls over their kid and she grabs onto her grandma and now all three of them are huffing and puffing but the damn turnip won’t budge. This is one crazy ass root vegetable. So they call over the dog and I’m thinking, girl, this is not going to work. but the dog bites down on the kids pants and starts pulling. It’s like a damn conga line. No dice. The dog starts whimpering and next thing you know the cat wanders over and bites the mutt right on her tail and starts pulling. So I’m laughing my ass off at this point but the cat starts looking at me. And normally we don’t really get on, the cat and me. But there’s this desperation in her eyes. In all of their eyes, really. Like, if I can’t dig up a damn tuber then who am I. What’s the point of it all, if there’s an enormous turnip that’s stronger than me. And I can see the future unfolding in my mind. The cat will never respect the dog again, and dog will never obey the kid, who will probably run away from home to find a new jacked grandma. And the farmers wife will leave him, and the whole damn charade of masculinity will crumble and fall. And I shouldn’t care right. I have no stake in this. This is some funny shit. But how funny would it be if little old me pitched in and the turnip actually came uprooted. I’ve got no ego. nobody respects a gay little mouse in this city. If I don’t make a difference here, no loss. But if I save the day? Can you imagine? Outdid by a mouse? The farmer would be delivering me fresh brie on the daily and the cat would probably have to move to a different area code to escape the mockery. So, in the spirit of cooperation, I grab the cat’s tail, and I give a little tug. Just the one. And I swear to god, it feels like an earthquake. Up comes the turnip, big as a house, and the farmer falls on his ass, and so does his wife, and all down the line. And I hop up on the cats head and scamper up the backs of the team as they catch their breath, and I leap up onto the turnip itself and I take a big bite out of it. And let me tell you: that shit? Tasted like a turnip

*explodes into a shower of gore and when the red mist clears i'm completely fine but wearing a different outfit*

i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

this is what GOOD pussy sounds like [geiger counter noises]

Reblog to give the person you reblogged from the ability to finish their WIPs

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

reblog this post to let the mutual you reblogged this from know that you still like them

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

The pokemon world's gotta be full of posters and PSA's that have like a magikarp and gyrados and say shit like "I'm not just a cute companion. I'm a 500lb commitment"

I love being an animal I love that everything I am can only be because I am a recycled material sculpture sourced from the random but beautiful bullshit of planet earth