GoodyGoodyCumdrop

I forgot that Americans spell it "mommy" and that therefore "strong as fuck ice mummy" was unabiguously about some sort of undead ice lich, and not ambiguously also about a sort of buff frosty milf archetype like I had been imagining for most of the past couple of years

How does it feel to walk about the world and perceive with such profound transformative capacity

Let’s all actually do this

my writing gland is purple and swollen

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

every 4th of july I think about the american tourist who was like oh thank god you’re open I wasn’t sure if you’d be open today and I was like why wouldn’t we be and he said because of the holiday. in norway.

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

I bet the pain will end if you rearrange my guts enough to where I don’t need to talk about it 🙂

i bet the pain will end if i cum deep enough inside her and cuddle about it 🙃

and im here too! 😃