Micky

When you watch someone unlock their phone with a pattern like this and wonder what top secret spy shit theyve been up to.

me putting syrup on my waffles

This is my favorite thing

#im actually crying rn #like he didnt just take a confused pic it was a confused pic in front of landmarks

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

consider the coconut

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

This post is a journey

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

I MEAN where’s the lie

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.

Reblogging for that last exchange.

Dionysus slips in at the last minute and makes it sweat milk.

video game: *autosaves at a weird/out of place/oddly random time* me: uh oh

video game: *suddenly goes uncharacteristically silent* me: shit