Mainly about me

Fall 2008

            It was another rainy day in Forks as I drove back to my house after work, my red Ford hatchback quietly sloshing down the wet roads with the windshield wipers set at a quick pace. My name is April Hudson, twenty-one-year-old garden business associate and wildlife watcher with a completed degree in biology and still living with my parents. Was, at least. 

           My parents had to move further south for their twin jobs leaving me alone upstate after graduation with their small house in the middle of freaking nowhere. I loved the rain of Washington until I had to leave and come back and get reacclimated to the weather.

            I was fine with the arrangement where they would periodically check in on me but most of their time is dedicated to their work. The only real neighbors I have are the Cullen’s but they’re nearly five miles away from, now my, little cottage, so there is almost no way to really call them neighbors. 

           The most I’ve ever seen of them is passing by them in their cars and even that was too short. They were all introduced once when my family moved in but that was only once and since then I only see them when they need to stop in for flowers or ferns for their home.

           As I pull up to the cottage, the light from the bathroom is still on from the morning. “Damnit,” I sigh heavily. ‘Always forgetting to turn that one off’ I berate myself silently in the confines of my warm car. 

           I grab my beat-up leather work bag in one hand and jog inside to avoid being more wet and cold than usual. ‘It’s the last thing I need.’

           “Hello, my little Mitten,” I greet my sweet little tabby cat with a smile. I’m greeted back with a small ‘mew’ before chuckling to myself and feeling the soft fur under my fingertips. Stripping off my clothes and getting rid of my bra, I finally feel free and alone in the quiet house.

            I don't feel like I'm the prettiest girl in the world with my large hips and thick thighs along with this dry skin in such a moist environment, but it’s my house to do what I please in it. I run my fingers through my shoulder-length hair as I let it out of its ponytail when a sound catches my attention.

          ‘Chirp! chirp! chirp! chirp!’ “What could that be my love?” I whisper lovingly partially to myself but mainly to Mittens as I walk to my computer where the noise is originating from. 

           I took up my parent's love of nature a while ago and hung up trail cameras to capture animals big or small traveling across the property, but there hasn’t been a ping in a while. Until now.

           The computer’s white light fills the room as it wakes up whirring and as I click my way through the files, petting Mittens rhythmically, while the start of the video plays like usual with the wildlife until there’s something that’s not so normal. The big buck walks through the woods, like usual, and then there, right after the third second, the deer is gone. There and then gone just like that. A whole deer gone without a trace.

           “What the hell?” I ask myself and I play it back nearly ten times before not being able to find anything wrong with the tape to indicate a glitch. “I guess I’ll look at the next one,” I say warily. My internal radar for weird stuff is slowly beginning to rise like a pressure gauge from the green zone to the yellow and the hairs stand up on the back of my neck as I start to feel not so alone.

           The next camera I pull up is deeper in the woods near the middle of where the property is. A few seconds in there is a man beginning to dig a hole without any sort of digging equipment until there is a hole with the dimensions of a shallow grave, the deer is thrown in as though it weighs no more than a small sack of flour, and then the weirdest part occurs: The guy takes off his shirt, tosses it in with the deer, and then fills the grave back up again.

           ‘I know that shirt, I know that shirt’ I repeat before it clicks; ‘It’s the hair.’ The mop of blonde hair in the video is the same as the mop I drive by every so often; Jasper Cullen. It all comes together as I remember him coming in with Alice to get flowers wearing a light colored button up dress shirt.

           “No fuckin’ way.” I rewind it and hit play again only to watch the same thing happen without fault. “Oh my god.” I don't know whether to watch the video again or to throw up my dinner from earlier. “Oh shit!” I cry out, startling Mittens off of my lap, and standing up abruptly enough to knock my chair back onto the ground. ‘I have to tell someone—wait, I can’t tell anyone’ I realize with a start. “The Cullen’s.” My blood turns to ice and my fingers become cold.

           ‘I have to get the shirt’ I tell myself and if I want to get back before dark then I’d better get out there and start digging now. I give a kiss to Mittens, feed her, and put on all of my gear like mud boots, insulated rain jacket and finally grab a shovel from the shed. I don’t bother putting my bra back on because I’ve already taken it off so it’s too much of a trouble to put back on and there’s no need since, hopefully, I’m the only person in these woods tonight.

          Grabbing my headlamp in case, I start my walk out. It’s fairly short but the dig is difficult and plain annoying. The mud slips and sloshes around my boots as I try to dig the hole back out but after over an hour of straight digging, I finally get to it just around the four-foot mark. It doesn’t even look like he tried to hide the shirt separately as I tug it out of the narrow hole I’ve dug. I turn my headlamp on and turn around when something catches my eye.

          There’s another area of raised soil about ten feet away and another ten feet in the opposite direction. ‘This is a dumping ground’ I realize and that feeling of terror turns my blood to ice once again. I fill the hole in as quickly as I can and immediately head home, not daring to look in the other mounds for fear of what I might find if I do.

           I slam my door as I come in, not caring that I’m dripping wet as I tromp through my house. I sit on the bed and put the muddy and blood covered shirt on my coffee table and simply stare at it. ‘I have to tell them and then just forget about all of this’ I tell myself.

           I find a drawstring bag to put the battered dress shirt in, slipping it under my bed, and try to sleep. Try being the key word. There is so much adrenaline running through my body that every time I close my eyes I see Jasper throwing that deer in, bloodied and dirt covered, before simply running off. ‘You can’t stay quiet.’

           The next day is giving me a bad case of the nerves as I dresses in my nice black slacks and olive green blouse to meet the Cullen’s, well mainly either Carlisle or Esme seeing as all of their kids freak me out with how they stare, but I’m uninvited anyway, so there’s that problem. I decide to go at noon so that the rest of the family might not be there, especially Jasper.

           With the CD with the copied video and the bag with the shirt in hand, I set out on the drive. As I get closer, more nerves collect in my chest making me breathe heavy and tremble at what they might say. I mean who knows, their son could be the beginnings of a serial killer and they could very well know about it and let me get killed too. The thought makes me slow down for a second before getting back up to normal speed.

           My heart is beating out of my chest as I turn down their rock driveway and, after another thirty-second delay, I’m finally sitting there in front of their monumental house. “You can do this. It’s really easy, you’ve got this,” I whisper to myself as I grip the steering wheel tight enough to turn my knuckles white.

          ‘Stay calm and just be cool’ I think slowly as I try to slow my breathing. I walk up the clean steps and my hand trembles fiercely as I lightly knock on the frame of the door to avoid potentially damaging or even smudging the glass.

            I see Esme walk toward the door, seeing as the whole house is nearly made of glass, and try to make my face look less like I’m going to throw up all over her. 

           “Hello April,” she greets and her voice sounds like music to my ears. I try not to get distracted by her looks but dear god she is beautiful. Literally, everything is perfect about her. “What brings you here?” 

            I find my heart rate rising even more at her being polite but if she knows why I’m here then she’s doing a damn good job at covering it up.

           “I’m sorry to bother you today,” I start and she smiles warmly but it doesn’t help my nerves. “Well, um, I wanted t-t-to, uh, tell you something but I didn’t want to freak you out,” I stammer. ‘Get it together’ I yell mentally. “I have something to show you if you’ll let me, Mrs. Cullen,” I tell her politely back and hold up the CD.

           “And what is in the bag?” she wonders with a pinched brow and tilted head. When it releases its tension there’s not even a crease in her skin, but I blink away the errant thought.

           “That also goes with the video,” I tell her slowly. “If I may. . .?” I ask with a small gesture to enter their house and she lets me into the entryway. “Do you have a CD player or a computer I could play this on for you?” She nods her head and leads me into their house where we end up in a room with a computer and shelves and shelves of books.

            With shaky hands, I start to take the CD out of the case and I think I should tell her a little before I spring on her that her son could be a serial killer or a poacher at best. “So I don’t know if you know this but my parents got me wilderness cameras while I was studying for my degree and that I have them in the trees around my property, um, and I got a ‘ping’ last night. Uh,” I pause as I try to get my tremors under control, “so I looked at it and I thought you should be the first to know what I found,” I end in a whisper so quiet I don’t know if she heard me. I glance at her to find her looking back at me with worried eyes.

            I stand from the seat and offer it to her in case she needs to sit after watching something so unbelievable. I pull up the file and click the play button. The video of the disappearing deer and then Jasper digging the hole plays on a loop and I watch her expression change from surprise, to worry, back to a stony one that gives nothing away. 

             She knows exactly why I’m here. She brings her perfect hand to the mouse, clicks the stop button, and then looks at the bag I’m still holding in a death grip from my nerves. She goes to say something but I stop her before she can start with a slight hand motion and a look.

           “And I don’t know if it was the best idea to do but I dug up the shirt because I want nothing to do with this and I don’t want it anywhere near my home,” I whisper and widen my eyes slightly to see if my point gets across, but I decide it’s better to say it anyway. 

           “I found two more mounds of dirt near this one, so I don’t care, and I won’t even ask what he is doing, or what you’re doing, but stop burying dead animals in my backyard,” I tell her severely.

            She looks me in the eyes and then nods her head once. I let out a nervous breath. ‘Thank god.’ “I’m going to head home then. Here,” I hand her the bag with the shirt and then start to walk toward the door, resisting the urge to sprint. Everything inside of me is screaming for me to get the hell out of here.

            She opens the front door for me and I leave without another word and don’t glance back as I walk to my car. The entire time I feel as though I’m holding my breath and once I’m finally in my car I let it out. I start the car and leave as fast as I can while trying to not seem like I’m running away.