why is this picture so funny
#i feel like im on chat roulette and he’s gonna show his dick in 2 seconds


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@clairebelfront
why is this picture so funny
#i feel like im on chat roulette and he’s gonna show his dick in 2 seconds

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#that one time claire and jackson went to a yoga class#idk who asked who but they went as expected it was a disaster#jackson left the place extremely sore not because of stretching but because claire accidently forgot he was human again#and then they got kicked out and banned from the class because they are trash and probably made the teacher cry#or at least claire did and jackson probably asked her on a date#someone stop me (via jacksonfosterr)
Margot Robbie’s guide to pickup lines. (x)

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district attorney to the fucking crazy | claire & daniel (closed)
Claire thought he was so cute. And she would have told him how cute he really was if she could get a word in, but she could barely keep herself from giggling let alone get a word in over his adorable rambling.
She was so in trouble, wasn’t she?
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#I’M SO CONCERNED#THIS IS SUCH A WORRYING SERIES OF NOISES
Margot Robbie in Marie Claire magazine’s March 2015 issue
district attorney to the fucking crazy | claire & daniel (closed)
"That-!! That is not true!" he said quickly, "It, yes, is one of the things that I like about you, but it’s not the only thing!!" He was far too concerned about this. Somewhere in his brain, he realized that she’d only said it in jest, but he couldn’t get himself to shut up. And so, for a whole forty-five seconds, he stood there blathering on about all of the things that he specifically liked about her which included (but wasn’t limited to): her hair, her smile, her eyes, her spunk, her confidence, etc.
Eventually though, he figured out how to make his mouth shut and he stood there for a long moment, gazing down at her. He cleared his throat and very calmly said, “I was… Trying to be a gentleman and not go straight to sex.” His voice cracked a little just on the word. Goddammit it was sunk for this blonde. “But you make an excellent point that I won’t be much of a conversationalist while focused on…” He cleared his throat again and wondered what in the hell she saw in him.
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Claire thought he was so cute. And she would have told him how cute he really was if she could get a word in, but she could barely keep herself from giggling let alone get a word in over his adorable rambling. She was so in trouble, wasn't she?
Claire had been about ready to reach for him when his lips came crashing onto hers, his teeth knocking with her own as she laughed at his curse. When she had come here, she had every intention of attempting to sleep with him. Obviously. He might not have been her first and he hadn't been her last, but he really was the only one who mattered. She could already feel him piecing her back together with his touch. Her hands moved to cup his cheeks as his arms wrapped tightly around her, one cool hand sneaking up her shirt causing her to shiver. His wordless attempts for her to pull herself up and tighten her legs around his waist proved to be successful and her smile widened against his lips as he moved down the hallway. "No offense to our first time, of course," Claire softly nipped at his lips, his chin, her hand slowly moving to curl her fingers at the short hair dark hair at the back of his head, "but you're infinitely more coordinated when you're not piss drunk." As her hand tightened at his neck, one hand slipped behind her to assist in the door handle as they stumbled into what she assumed was his bedroom. Claire momentarily brought her lips away from his own, her eyes scanning the dark of the room, wanting to take in every little detail she could before she began 110% distracted with other things. Namely... Claire's eyes darkened as they moved back over Dan just before she attached her lips over his neck, nipping softly at the skin before moving up towards his ear. "Hey," she giggled softly, her tongue moving softly over the shell of his ear just before she softly kissed it. "Guess who I am:" Claire slid her legs back down his body, the bed sitting just behind them as the back of her legs hit the edge for reference. Her hands hungrily moved down his chest before they hit the end of his shirt and she tugged it up and over his head, maybe a little bit greedily just before she attached herself to him once more, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck as her forehead bumped against his own. And then her face got all serious and her brows turned down and her voice got all low and moany-like. "Oh Dan, I want to fuck the shit out of you." She fell softly back onto his bed with a laugh, tugging him right on with her. "Do you need a hint?"

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district attorney to the fucking crazy | claire & daniel (closed)
Dan had always wondered where her ridiculous amount of strength came from. She was tiny and curvy and gorgeous and had this ridiculous smile and yet she could probably take down the best linebacker in the NFL. It confused him, it made him think a lot of stu- did she just say sex???
His head tilted as she kissed him and then gripped his arm and then promptly dragged him through his own house. This normally would have been the part where he wondered how a girl twelve years younger than him was able to make him act like he was younger than her, but all he could hear was her saying sex over and over again. Seriously, it was on loop in his brain. He heard her speaking animatedly as they moved down the hall, but she sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
"Claire," he said, his wrists turning up to grab hold of her arms. When her feet stopped, he gazed down at her. She stared expectantly up at him and suddenly he was nervous. "What?" he asked, blinking a few times before shaking his head a little, "Oh, right, I was going to say something…" He cleared his throat and raised one hand to run through his hair.
"So I realize that you just said a whole sentence to me, but I didn’t hear anything after you said sex, honestly," he said, his brown eyes a lil wide as he gazed down at her. "I feel bad, I should have been listening, but it’s been… a lot of years since you and I have been in the same room and even longer since sex was mentioned, so I’m just a little…”
A nervous laugh bubbled up from his throat and he shook his head. God, he sounded like a complete idiot. “And you’re here, and like… one foot away from me and you smell fantastic and your eyes are sparkly and your hair is perfect and blonde and…”
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now he had a tent in his pants. Greaaat.
He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet a little in an attempt to hide the fact that he was hard as hell. The nostalgia for the year after they’d had sex the first time and he refused to do it again because she was underage was strong. He’d spent pretty much that entire year with blue balls, and it looked like he was well on his way to the first one since she’d been back.
"Please continue dragging me downstairs and I will do my very best to pay attention and not stare at your ass and if it takes me a minute to respond, please just understand that I am giving this my all to not… You know… Uh… I don’t know," he dropped his head in shame, staring at the floor. "Just please continue dragging me downstairs now."
Dan silently came to the conclusion that he didn’t need to speak words ever again in his life.
Claire looked back to him as he stalled their retreat down the hallway, her look of confusion momentarily turning to concern until before she knew it it was all Claire could do to keep from outright laughing. She wasn't clueless and she wasn't exactly humble when it came to how she looked and how other's reacted to her. Call it years of being shoved into pageantry or just those good ol' fashioned Belfront genes, but Claire knew she was pretty and she was more than confident enough to back it up. Dropped jaws and blank stares had never felt so nice and fuzzy coming from anyone else but him, though. Claire bit her lip and put on a very serious face as she listened to him continue to talk, probably try to calm himself down, but Claire knew better at this point in the game. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Claire looked around him, down the hall before meeting his gaze once more, raising one, almost challenging brow at him. "We could take a detour," she offered innocently, a slow smirk making it's way back onto her face. "If you want. I mean, I would much rather have a chat when you're focused on more than just my ass," she pointed out. "I knew you only liked me for my rear."