Hmmm.

Upolu, Samoa.

Photographer: Caroline Bell of Laumei Photography 

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“A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, friendship, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust”

While many people I know are getting ready to leave to Samoa or are currently enjoying Samoa, I’m here watching and living thru their pictures & video (Thank you social media) hah!

What I would do to go back.

I didn’t get the chance to travel.to Samoa as a kid with my parents or to be brought up in Samoa (but I am grateful for my parents bringing me up in Australia & New Zealand) but I’ve always wanted to learn what its really like to be a Samoan. To live and see what my parents went thru. The village life to see where they were raised & what a normal day was like for them.

I know they had it tough & that they didn’t get the lavish lifestyle we get today but they managed to take any opportunity they had & make a difference in their life & mine

My many goals in life is to go back to Samoa & volunteer my time. Whether to an organization working with children & women or in agriculture or community infrastructures.

Everytime I’m in Samoa. I have a greater appreciation for what my parents have done for me & the life I live in Australia. I see many families with little to nothing but they’re still able to smile & take each day as it comes. They just appreciate what they have, no more or no less. I always need to remind myself when Im having “a bad day” that it’s nothing compared to what others go thru.

Samoa makes me happy. Happy place full of happy people. ☺

"It’s good to know you & your partner are still going strong"

It’s comments like these that make me want to push further in our relationship, because others believe in US also to prove wrong that long distance relationships don’t work - (I admit not for everyone but they work for the right people).

Alot of people are surprised that we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I forget how long it’s actually been but I’m glad we’re part of the number that prove that long distance does work

As you may have realised (or not) that I’m currently in a long distance relationship.

I know what youre probably thinking? No. not really. Yeah me either.

Anyways.

I’ve been thru this for the last 3 years, 2months & 14 days but who’s counting right?

So I’ve gotten use to the whole saying good bye business & the tears hah! It sucks it really does. The struggles of going back to normal life after they leave. It’s not cool. Because when they arrive you try & get use to them being there. Being able to go here & there together or just lazying about at home.

After 3 blissful months together. He leaves me once again for home. Leaving me heart broken (overly dramatic but you get the drift) - just as i was getting use to sharing he gets up & leaves (I’m sure you now realize how dramatic I can get)

Now I’ve come to the conclusion that I had gotten so use to having this human-form-teddy next to me every night that now sleep isn’t as comfy or as welcoming as it was before or the missing ‘piece’ just isn’t there to make it feel right.

It feels empty & cold. (Que the tears) - I’m kidding! No tears, but still empty & cold.

It’s either that or I’m just needy. Hah! No.

Ever been so frustrated you just wanted to give up on everything & everyone or move to a secluded area or a farm

(always wanted to live on a farm since watching the Hanna Montana Movie - don’t judge me I have a soft spot for the country side)

& just forget about everything & start fresh?

Yeaaah nah. Not me.

Well sometimes. I feel like I just need a break from reality & just watch it from a far. So I can see how much of a dick I can be sometimes. Or sometimes when it gets really bad just give up.

Yes. Give up. Kapoot. Gone. Nothing.

As you’ve probably realised this is a point less post, but before I wrote it I was so frustrated that I thought I’ll vent about it on here & boy were there some crazy thoughts going inside my head (I have little to no control what happens in there lol) only to realise half way thru that I can’t give up on life or stop and let life past me. Not when it’s gotten me this far. Not when I want to live on a farm hah! Especially not when I have so many goals & aspirations.

Sometimes you just need to vent your frustrations wether anyone is listening or not but just let it out. No use keeping them. They’re doing you no good.

I’ve had a few people in my life that have been victims to the dark side of frustrations, negative thoughts & worst.

It’s not easy. But I wish they could have read this and realised it’s not worth it. Not for you or those around you.

I’ve said frustrated & frustration so many time that I’ve forgotten the reason for my post.