Thaloginous Gulch

HOW TO UNREGISTER FROM NBA DRAFT

I DONT WANT TO PLAY

HOW TO DODGE NBA DRAFT

this is what it sounds like to me when tall people complain about having to squeeze into the economy seats on an airplane

it should be called “Untitled” because that title doesn’t add anything and makes it sound more stupid

The trick is to do it without shame. Literally anything could be cool if you just did it shamelessly

the key to this is just pretend you’re drunk or high. Like u don’t have to act drunk, just imagine that you are. Pick (almost) any drug and remember what it was like to be on it and many things can be easier

There were some young kids playing at the park today. One of them said “Liar liar pants on fire!” The other one replied “I don’t even care about that. I don’t even believe in that.”

this is what happened when tiktok got banned for 1 day and americans migrated en masse over to xiaohongshu

nothing makes me feel more well adjusted than hearing about the problems that straight people in the periphery of my life are always having

my aunt's new guy broke into my ex uncle's garage and filled his bowling balls with caulk

anecdotes that are improved if one imagines the speaker to have the cot-caught merge

this is my favorite thing about being a screener for a local experimental film festival :) first film i watched this season was this to a T!

I think the worst political development of the 21st century has been the equating of identity with belief eg. "only white people can be racist" "I can't be a misogynist I'm literally a woman" "I have ADHD I can't be ableist" just an absolutely awful development.

“i can’t be misogynist, i’m a woman!!” Real quick girlypop: What else, exactly, do you think ‘moms’ are for ??

oh… HIM boba…

this is NOT FUNNY, the dots are HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS!!!! Meanwhile the CDC is being chopped to pieces by goons as we speak — and here you people are laughing out of temporary blissful ignorance.

to be clear, this post supports everyone who came out or got on T/E or whatever benchmark and transformed werewolf-style from a normally or stylishly dressed person into a tacky mall goth, the type of person who wears pajama pants outside their home, a fedora and cargo shorts guy, a lady who exclusively wears mismatched athleisure, etc

talked to a trans guy wearing a pocketwatch last night at the jazz bar & at one point i was like “holy shit i’ve never actually heard anyone talk about a ‘watch fob’ before in any context besides referencing The Gift of the Magi”

city_new_new_new_new_THIS_ONE_final.city

there used to be so many stars in the sky that you would have to scrape away a dozen of them that splattered on your windshield every time you drove somewhere, but now they're being over-hunted to make american flag merchandise. very sad

dark and brooding guy with horrible regrets yells "I HAVE BLOOD ON MY HANDS!" in a moment of vulnerability but theres a cutaway transition where hes at a state fair eating a banana and he throws the peel over his shoulder and the tilt-a-whirl operator slips on it causing him to fall on the controls and shift it into a skull and crossbones setting called OVERDRIVE and the tilt-a-whirl spins so fast it lifts off the ground and carries the people away screaming

basically this exact thing happens in a mitch albom book more or less

99% of ramblers quit right before they conceive of a coherent thought. KEEP TALKING

this actually happened to me recently where i kept babbling and then person i was talking to LIKED the thought i came up with at the end, and it took me by such massive surprise bc i just didn’t think that was even possible?!! it felt like i’d just violated a scientific law