I Am a flop.

I love my daughter already whoever she is

School is thirteen years of trying out different bosses.

when you hold a boy’s dick you hold all of their power. they are powerless. you can either give them an orgasm or destroy them.

You could finish him or finish him

Yahoo paid 1.1 billion for this

I’m pretty sure 90% of my mutuals dislike me

me

I made the post, so it’s me. Not you

you dumb bitch I meant I’m your mutual and I hate you. This is why we hate you

when yr so tired ur eyelids are like SHUT IT DOWN BOYS but ur brian is like OPEN THOSE GATES LADS n ur closing ur eyes then opening then closing then opening then closing then opening then closing

“ur brian”

listen here mate i know what i said and i stick by it i cling to my mistakes like a real man

*heaves huge sigh of relief*

today the barista at Starbucks accidentally gave me a trienta instead of a venti (which was cool cause hey more coffee) and I pointed it out in case she wanted to switch it so she doesn’t get in trouble or something and she looked right at me in my eyes and said “I decide what you drink now”